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“I try to be. Do you have a favorite stuffed animal?”
“Yes!” She immediately brightened. “Come see it.” As she scampered off to her room, Princess following, I glanced out the window. Savage stood still staring out at the playground equipment, his hands in his pockets. He was the most complex man I’d ever met, a combination of completely grumpy rough around the edges with something softer inside that he rarely allowed to show.
I shook my head, knowing that I’d never figure out his story and he’d likely never tell me about his past. However, I sensed that whatever he’d endured had been powerful enough to change him. As soon as I found Lily in her room, I gathered a sense of how much the little girl had been loved and why Savage had no clue how to handle the situation.
The room had been created for a princess, the walls tinted pink with sparkles and stars covering almost every inch. There was a white four-poster canopy bed, the fuchsia comforter adorned with images of Cinderella. Everywhere there were books and toys, giant stuffed animals and pictures of her favorite Disney characters.
Placed in the middle of her bed was the bunny brought to her by an uncle she didn’t know, the only lifeline to a family that she’d lost. As tears welled in my eyes at the sense of loss, I did my best to keep her from seeing them.
“This is beautiful,” I told her, the lump in my throat making it difficult to breathe.
She moved onto the bench at the end of her bed, crawling on top, Princess jumping beside her. “Thank you very much.”
I was amazed at her vocabulary and her manners. I moved closer, noticing that every toy had its place, completely organized. “Do you have a favorite book?” I studied her for a few seconds, the sadness continuing. I sensed her confusion about what was going on, but she wasn’t certain what to say or if she should.
“I dunno.”
“I bet you do.” I moved toward the bookshelf, pulling out one of them randomly. “Do you like Dr. Seuss?”
She shrugged. “He’s okay. I likeCat in the Hat.”
I found the book in question and moved to sit by her, making certain Princess was in between us. “Would you like me to read you a few pages before dinner?”
“If you want to.”
As I started to read, she seemed bored, pulling the bunny close to her chest, the pup resting his head in her lap. She didn’t look at me, but every time I glanced in her direction, I could tell she was blinking rapidly. The poor baby was trying to keep from crying. I continued, trying to make certain my voice was as animated as possible.
After a few pages, she finally lifted her head, a single tear slipping down her cheek. “Do dogs go to heaven?” she asked in a small voice.
“Absolutely, but you don’t need to worry about that. Princess has a long life ahead of her. Don’t you, sweet girl?” I rubbed the pup’s chin and lowered my head, a lick my sweet little reward.
“What’s heaven like?”
My heart was about to break. I had no experience with children. I’d been the girl who said I’d never wanted to have a child in my life. I had no patience, no sense of selflessness. But this sweet angel was suffering in silence, and I couldn’t allow that to happen. “Heaven is a beautiful place where the skies are always blue, the grass green and lush. And there are flowers blooming all year long. It’s never too hot or too cold, and the breeze always brings a wonderful fragrance.”
“Really?” she asked, lifting her little head.
“Really. There’s so much love there that you can feel it tickling your skin.” I purposely tickled her, making her laugh.
After she stopped giggling, she shifted closer, wrapping her arms around the bunny and Princess’s neck before resting her head on my arm. Then she asked the question that broke my heart.
“Are my mommy and daddy in heaven?”
I held my breath, unable to keep the tears from falling. As I pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head, I managed to whisper my answer. “Absolutely, baby girl. And did you know they’ll be watching you all the time?”
“They will?”
“Of course. Any time you need them, just press your hand against your heart like this.” I gently eased her hand in place, licking tears that had fallen against my lips. “They will always be with you. Always. Just close your eyes and think about them. You’ll feel their love.”
She sobbed once but kept her hand on her heart.
I closed my eyes, still trying to keep it together. When I opened them again, I noticed Savage standing in the doorway, watching us intently.
And the big gruff man who said he had no honor now had tears in his eyes.
CHAPTER9
Savage
