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An evil man.
My Pops had called me that more than once, but when he’d issued the words, it had been a compliment. I had no business making a deal with Harlow, not when I was clueless about my brother’s business and whether he’d crossed a few lines. Finding out he wasn’t in debt whatsoever had propelled another round of ugly thoughts about how he’d acquired so much wealth.
I didn’t like what I was thinking. If I was right in my horrific assumptions, handling the aftermath of his death wouldn’t be pretty. Or easy to deal with.
While I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, it would be necessary to find out exactly how my brother died. Faulty brakes? Bullshit. When he was making millions of dollars, why would he risk his daughter’s life by not having them checked if there’d been an issue?
As Lily climbed into bed, I couldn’t seem to get my mind off Harlow. What the fuck had I been thinking demanding she belong to me, submitting to my every desire? I’d already admitted to myself how much she’d affected me, but the ‘deal’ could blow up in my face. Hell, the deal could prove to be dangerous, at least if my instinct continued to serve me well.
The situation smelled to high heaven. I didn’t like what I was thinking about my brother, but I couldn’t put it past him to adopt our father’s old ways. Had he succumbed to greed, putting his family in danger?
I just couldn’t buy it, not completely. It had been obvious during the funeral for his wife how much he loved this little girl. As I peered down at Lily, another ache slammed against my heart. No one was going to hurt my family. Ever. That was a promise I intended on keeping.
Even if it meant selling my soul forever.
“Get a good night’s sleep,” I said, wishing I could be what Lily needed. Her little face was full of so many expressions, the tender moment she’d shared with Harlow nagging at me. What the hell could I offer the little girl?
Routines.
I’d been used to keeping them for almost my entire life. When to get up. When to eat. When to work. I’d considered myself an expert at being able to handle multiple tasks at one time, never late for a damn thing. No one would ever call me a fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy.
Now I had no freaking clue how to handle dinner preparation, making certain the little one ate her vegetables, figuring out when the puppy should eat and how much, bath time, reading, sleep. Hell, I wasn’t certain what to say when I tucked Lily into bed. Say your prayers? I couldn’t do that with good conscience.
I’d never really considered myself a good man even before the mishap in the Army and the subsequent decisions I’d made turning me into a killer. While accepting the facts was necessary, at this point, what I’d become made me cringe. Did I have bloodlust built inside of me? Not a doubt. I’d inherited that from my father, a truly dangerous man.
He’d laughed at me when I said I wanted to enlist in the Army. I’d told him it was because I’d wanted to serve my country. The truth was I’d wanted to get away from the lifestyle my father participated in. He was a low-level player in a mafia organization, but a man so brutal that the single mention of his name brought terror into the hearts of men who’d been considered savages themselves.
Only recently had I begun to comprehend that not only was I just like my father, I was also the spitting image.
“Savage. Can you leave the light on for me?” Lily asked in an unusually tiny voice. Princess jumped up on the bed, immediately curling up by her side. Thank God I was able to get the dog back. At least the pup brought her some joy.
I hesitated before heading to the small lamp on her tiny desk that she was pointing toward.
“Do you normally sleep with a light on?” I switched it on, smirking at the fairies that had been pasted on the lampshade.
“No, but it helps me sleep. Plus, Booda likes it.”
“Booda?”
“The bunny, silly.” She giggled as she held up the cheap ass pink stuffed animal I’d purchased at a fucking drug store.
“Ah. Well, then, Booda gets what Booda wants.” I moved closer to the bed, trying to follow my instincts, lifting the covers closer to her neck. “Are you all set? Do you need water or anything?”
She shook her little head, her eyes imploring. I could tell she was searching for answers as to what the fuck was going on. So was I. Why would a good man like Galen be taken when I should have been the one to forfeit my life? I would have gladly taken his place without question.
“Okay, then. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
“What’s that mean?”
Laughing softly, I realized the saying was so old no one likely used it any longer. “It’s something my mother used to tell me before I went to sleep.”
“Oh. Okay.”
As I started to walk away, I heard the little voice again and it nearly broke me.
“Savage? Aren’t you going to kiss me goodnight? Daddy used to.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
