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Yes.But instead, I shake my head, “No.”
Jake licks his lips, his eyes trailing over me, making me feel wanted. “Do you want to watch?”
Fuck. Yes.I shake my head, rising away from them. “Maybe another time? I need to head home.”
“We are holding you to that,” Josh says, a smile tipping his lips. I grin, slipping out the door and making a quick exit to my car.
Why am I denying myself? But the answer is simple. When you love someone, even a simple smile directed at another feels like you’re betraying them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Journal entry: It’s like picking petals from an oleander and putting it in your tea—fatal.
I’ve been putin a lot of awkward situations in my life, but this one takes the cake. I can’t find one thing that could make this situation any better. My paternal grandparents sit at the dinner table before me. The lady seeming younger than the older man at the head of the table. They introduced themselves as Derek and Isabella. Richard sits on the opposite side of us, my mother to his right next to the empty seat between her and the lady. Clint, Noah, Heath, and I are all on one side. The two older boys throwing casual glances at me. But Heath who is right next to me, his glance is curious.
“Clint,” Derek says, “how’s med school?”
Clint looks to Derek, setting his napkin in his lap. “Hard, but it’ll be worth it once I graduate.” I hide my smile by looking at my lap.
“Noah, you still doing that ah…” Derek trails off with a grimace.
“Modeling? Yeah, Grandpa, I’m still disappointing you.” He flashes a grin at Derek.
Derek grunts, turning his gaze to Heath. “Heath, how are your grades?”
“Honor role, sir.” Heath supplies a bit of annoyance in his eyes.
“That’s very good.” Derek looks to me, annoyance flickering in them as he bypasses me.
The rejection stings a little. The despair of loss of having no grandparents sinking in. I don’t have any. My mom’s died before I was born, and these two? They see me as nothing.
Commotion comes from the door to the dining room. Everything freezing inside of me as my blues clash with smoke. Lincoln freezes at the entryway. Eyes going from me to my mother. Something clicking. A smile breaking over his lips as he walks to the table. Kissing his mother’s cheek while ignoring his father completely.
“Uncle Linc, what up?” Heath grins.
“Not proper English, I see,” Lincoln replies smoothly, eyes connecting back to mine.
I look away quickly as the chatter picks up and dinner is served. I can’t stomach any of it, but I try, even though the food tastes like cardboard to me.
“I hear you’re a teacher,” my mom says to Lincoln.
“Yeah, I work at Preston Boyd Private School.”
Mom looks over to me excitedly. “Callum goes there. It’s a great school.”
I roll my eyes. “He knows, Mom. He is my teacher.”
She claps. “What a small world. What do you teach?”
“Government this semester.”
Mom whistles low. “Yeah, my Callum doesn’t like government too much.”
Lincoln chuckles. “Trust me, I know.”
“I’m not even sure how she’s passing, if I’m honest with you.”
Lincoln’s eyes connect with mine, darkening. “Lots of extra credit.”
