Page 24 of Paging Dr. Douche


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The next day, I actually arrive to work early before we open the clinic to set up my jump scares. I went for fog horns. I don't even have to be around when she activates one. I'll hear it, though.

Ardi pokes her head inside when she gets there and doesn't have to unlock the front door. "Hello?"

"Yeah, it's me." I call out cheerfully. "Good morning." I say.

She walks in slowly, glaring at me every step of the way to the nurses station. "Everything okay?"

"Absolutely." I answer her, ignoring her still questioning glance.

There's one chair at the nurses station that Nyla usually sits in that I've taped off, forbidding anyone to sit in it. She should be here any minute, and I know that's the first place she's going to hit.

I wait for Ardi to get the computers turned on, and it's business as usual, we fill up the patient board with the cases coming in today. On schedule, there are only five, which is perfect. I'd rather not disturb too many people. Though I do recognize there are emergency cases that can come in.

I'll handle those when the time comes.

Ardi goes to start setting up rooms as is her normal routine, but she notices that I've already done it.

"Dr. Dracos?" She calls for me again.

"Yes, Nurse Thomas?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine. " I cock an eyebrow at her, "I just hope you remember what side of the war you're on." I turn on my heel and walk to my office, hearing her gasp behind me. She knows the game is on.

Ten minutes later, on time, Nyla walks in. I come out of my office just to see Ardi racing up to her excitedly. They talk in a hushed whisper for a few seconds, and Nyla's eyes jerk up to me.

"I'm ready for you, Doc. You won't catch me." She says and I shrug.

"I'm sure I won't. You're far too cunning to fall for anything I have planned." I say and lean on the nurses station, grabbing up one of the first charts and begin to make notes in the margins like I usually do. I don't pay Nyla any extra mind, and she comes around to see her chair sectioned off.

She humphs and turns to look at me, "You think you're so smart, don't you. You do this, so I think something is wrong with the chair, forcing me to go sit in a different one, causing me to fall on my ass. Nope. Not today. Try again next time." Nyla sticks her tongue out at me and I ignore her, freezing my disinterested expression on my face.

She pulls the tape off her chair, wiggles it around a little to make sure it's sturdy. Like an episode out of my favorite cartoon, she jumps in the chair to prove her point.

The fog horn I've attached to the spring of the work chair activates blaring loudly, but it doesn't drown out the high-pitched squeal that comes out of Nyla's mouth as she skyrockets back up in the air and falls to the ground on her ass.

I kneel and laugh loudly, hiding my face from view behind the wall of the nurses station. When I peek back over, she's glaring at me.

"Oh, you son of a bitch." she says, breathing hard.

Her profanity only makes me laugh harder and finally Ardi joins in with me and Nyla rounds it out, laughing at herself in the end.

"Okay, okay, you got me. Good one, Dr. Dracos." she says, giving me my props while disengaging the fog horn.

"One? Oh, Nurse Thimble, that wouldn't be very thorough of me to only have one? Have a nice shift." Her face pales and she calls after me when I turn to walk away. I get to my office and laugh some more while I really get set up to start my day. A few seconds later, Ardi walks in with the patient chart I was making notations in.

I eye it carefully, worried something nasty or jarring would jump out of the paper. When I look back up at her, she's smirking at me.

"Nurse Thomas?"

"You know, I have a feeling things around here are about to get a lot more interesting. You've finally met your match in Nyla."

I realize then that she's not talking about pranks. She thinks this is a cheesy work romance blooming. "Nurse Thomas, I'm still your boss..."

"Oh stow it Doc. It's too late, I see it already, even if you want to deny it." she doesn't wait for me to reply, but turns and walks out.

Great, another person trying to convince me that I have feelings for Nyla.

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