AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Hey, Abs. I need someone to talk to, but I can’t talk to Kasey about it. She around?”
“No, love bug, she’s out on assignment. What’s up?” The concern in her voice rings loudly in my ear.
“Aiden and I kissed last night. It didn’t go any further than that, but he was a complete asshole this morning after he pretty much turned me down last night,” I rush out.
“Yikes. Hold on a sec. Let me wrap my head around this.” She pauses for a moment, and I hear her take a deep breath. “So, you kissed Aiden. Was it hot? I’m going to be so disappointed if you tell me it wasn’t.”
A laugh escapes me at her response. Of course, she would ask that.
“Yes, it was unspeakably hot. That isn’t the issue. He started going off about Jackson. Specifically, our relationship and what it is. He accused me of kissing him but having feelings for Jackson.” Talking about the “conversation” with Aiden is bringing my anger to the surface once again.
“Ugh. That man ruins moments even when he isn’t around,” she grumbles.
I probably should have figured the second I mentioned Jackson, Abigail would jump on the “I hate Jackson Hayes” bandwagon.
“It’s not like it was Jackson’s fault Aiden was a dick about him. Those two don’t get along to begin with. You know I don’t have those kinds of feelings for him, but I’m not going to judge him for his past. He’s been there for me since the kidnapping and I like to think I’ve helped him work through it, too.” Abigail doesn’t want to hear anything remotely kind about Jackson, but I can’t help trying to defend him a little.
“You know I support you in everything. I may not understand your friendship with the son of Satan, but I respect it. It sounds like Aiden is confused about the feelings he has for you and maybe he’s trying to find a way to lessen the attraction somehow or push you away before he gets more attached. He doesn’t strike me as the ‘go all in and hold no regard for the outcome’ type of guy. He seems a little too reserved for that.”
She hit the nail on the head with that one.
“I don’t know what to do, Abs. Is it too soon to have feelings for someone? I mean, I’m still stuck in an apartment because I freak out if I leave and see someone who reminds me of Helen. Is it even fair to expect someone to deal with my crazy?”
“First of all, you’re not crazy. You’re working through a traumatic event that would have broken most people,” she vehemently tells me. Abigail is not one who approves of me referring to myself as crazy. “Second, that freak-out was months ago. Maybe this is a sign you’re healing and moving past it if you’re asking these questions. Have you talked to your therapist about this?”
“No, I have a call with her in a bit.” I haven’t told my therapist anything about Aiden yet. I’m a little nervous about dropping it all in her lap at once.
“Well, talk to Dr. Thomason and see what she thinks. I’m all for you getting some bow-chicka-bow-wow,” she sings into the phone.
I laugh at her ridiculous sound effects. Good Lord, she can be too much sometimes.
“I don’t think any ofthatwill happen anytime soon.“ Why does that thought make me feel a little melancholy, like I’m missing out on something?
“More’s the pity.” She sighs. “Listen, men can be insecure creatures. Especially if Aiden already doesn’t like Jackson. It sounds like he’s trying to pick a fight, so he doesn’t get hurt if you really do have feelings for the Prince of Darkness.”
“Well, that’s dumb,” I grouse.
“Agreed. More times than not, men are kind of dumb. But so pretty to look at.” She purrs. I chuckle again, my thoughts easing after having confided in someone.
“Okay, I’ll let you get back to work. I have my call with Dr. Thomason in a couple of minutes.” One I’m not particularly looking forward to.
“Okay, sweets. Call me if you need me. Love you, boo.” She makes some kissing noises and I smile.
“Love you too, Abs.”
We hang up and I steel my spine for the phone call with my therapist. I don’t know why I’m nervous about talking to her. Maybe because I felt like I was keeping a secret from her. That’s the old Lindsey. The one who kept her feelings and thoughts close to the vest. I have to work on opening up more. Otherwise, I won’t get anywhere in getting my life back on track.
I log into my Zoom meeting with Dr. Thomason. I must say technology is an amazing tool for someone like me. She smiles when she sees my face and we exchange the regular hellos and how are yous.
“So, what’s been going on, Lindsey?” She asks ready to get to it.
Uh-oh. Here goes.
“I didn’t tell you something. I know I should have since it’s a pretty big deal in my life and where I’m at emotionally. I don’t know why I didn’t. No, that’s a lie. I was falling into bad habits of not being honest and forthcoming,” I say quickly. I may be working on being more open and honest, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.
She looks at me, still smiling, completely unfazed by my confession.
“Lindsey, it’s perfectly normal to go back to old patterns of behavior. You aren’t the first and won’t be the last. What’s important is that you recognized it and are changing the behavior. What happened?”
