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“You will.”
Samantha didn’t care how great the song or the singer was. She was annoyed that she had to learn a new song. She read the title: “Wide Awake.” Oh good. Shouldn’t be a dirge with that title. “Are we playing this for this Sunday?”
Harry looked sympathetic, but he nodded. “I think we should. But you can sit this one out if you’re not ready.”
No, she wasn’t going to admit that.
“You’ll get it,” the keyboard player said encouragingly. “At least it’s in F.”
Samantha heaved a great sigh and raised her flute as Harry started the intro.
Samantha hadn’t scanned the lyrics beforehand and was unprepared for the power of them. She could picture the man they described, a man lost in the desert, wandering around, dying of heat and thirst. She tried to shake the image out of her head and focus on the notes.
But the words carried a profound loneliness that felt like a weighted blanket draped over her head and shoulders. She didn’t like these words, this feeling, this song—but then the song told her to “rise up” and her skin broke out in goosebumps.
Rise up? From the desert? From the loneliness? From the weight? She straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath.Keep it together, she reminded herself.This song isn’t about you. Not everything is about you.
She didn’t need to be having a spiritual meltdown right now; she just needed to learn the song.
But then the chorus delivered a wallop right to her chest.
This songwasabout her, and God was talking to her right now, whether she liked it or not, whether she wanted it to be real or not.
This was happening.
You are asleep, God told her, and I want you towake up.
She couldn’t play, but she held her flute in place so no one would notice her struggle, and she tried to push the revelation away. Not now. She didn’t have the energy for this.
Wake up, God told her again.
No.
Wake up.
I can’t.
She nearly cried with relief when the song ended.
Jake laughed. “Well, that was pretty rough.”
Was it? She hadn’t noticed.
“Naw, it’s a great start,” Harry said. He would have said that even if the six of them had played six different songs. “Do you want to go over it again?”
Please, no.
But of course they did. Because they didn’t know it and they were going to lead the congregation in it in four days.
Over it and over it they went.
God’s voice came in waves. Once, it was so quiet that she thought God had given up, but then the next time they went through it, he was back with force.
She had to get out of there. She couldn’t bear to hear this song one more time. She needed a drink. When they finished the song for the umpteenth time, she opened her mouth to dismiss herself, but Harry spoke before she could. “Good job, everybody. We’ll see you Sunday morning.”
Thank God.Samantha hurried out of the church. She was going to skip church this week. She didn’t want to hear that song ever again. She didn’t even understand why it had had such an effect on her. Wake up? She was awake. Obviously. She knew Jesus. She was saved. She was awake.
She was desperate to leave that song in her wake, but the song wouldn’t leave her. The lyrics played over and over in her head. She knew that the only way to shut them up would be to drink something.
