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Oh, no, what’s he done now?
As I approached the door, Rob stepped in front of me, shaking his head. “Not a great time, miss. You should probably wait here.”
“Rob, let me in. Now.”
He sighed, looking at Matt, who simply shrugged. “This is on me. No one will get into trouble for letting me in. Someone needs to stop those two from killing each other,” I begged, as the argument inside the room grew louder.
Rob stepped to the side, and I opened the door. Tanner was mid shout when he saw me and instantly stopped. His eyes danced over my body, meeting my eyes for a moment, before looking away with an expression on his face that I couldn’t explain.
“What’s all the shouting for, rock star? I leave you for a few hours and you go allhulkon me again.”
“He wants to get drunk to drown out his excuse of a mother. Talk to him, Em. Make him see sense because if he gets on that stage with one sip of alcohol in his system, I’m gone. For good. I don’t care how much he begs. I’m done with him if he does this.”
I wrapped my arms around Addison and let her breathe for a few seconds, seeing how tense and angry she was.
“Talk to him, Emmy. Please,” she begged. “He’s going to blow all of this up because of her. This is what she wants. And he’s giving it to her on a plate.”
“Give us a minute, will you?” I asked her, squeezing her hand. “Shall I call you in a bit?”
She nodded, then turned on her heel, leaving without another word.
“Tanner?” I raised my eyebrow. My tone sounded like my mum when she knew I’d been up to no good.
He simply sighed, running his fingers through his hair, pushing his wavy fringe back from his face. From the outside, he looked like the rock star he was. Eyeliner in place, a leather waistcoat over his bare tattooed chest, skin-tight ripped black jeans, and heavy black boots. Black and silver rings over some of his fingers, leather bands around his wrists, and black nail varnish covering his fingernails. I forced myself to focus on his emotional meltdown and not his hot as hell body and the Cosmic God persona dripping from him.
“Tan, what’s going on?”
He sighed again, sinking to the floor, sitting crossed-legged at my feet, patting the floor in front of him. I looked down at him and chuckled.
“If I get down there, rock star, you’re going to have me help me up again. I can barely breathe in these leggings. I think Fi has gone crazy with her attempts to give me a makeover. This one took some convincing. But I didn’t know floor sitting would be on the agenda.”
He reached out his hand to me. “I’ll help you back up, angel. Just come sit with me. You look beautiful, by the way. Seeing you distracted me from the rage rampage I was on.”
I sat in front of him, bending my legs under me, noticing that he didn’t let go of his hold on me. The dark circular tribal tattoo that covered the back of his hand was a stark contrast against my pale skin. Sighing, he spoke, avoiding my eyes as he did. “Mum sent me a message demanding a million pounds. If I don’t pay, she’ll leak the pictures she has to the press.”
“Pictures of?” I queried.
“You.”
“Me? When? I mean, how?” I panicked, knowing that Addi had specifically said she didn’t want me to be seen with the band.
He stared up at me from beneath his long sandy lashes, sadness darkening his jade eyes. “When we were out on our adventure. I guess she’s paying someone to follow me. You can’t see who you are in the picture and don’t worry because Addi’s not bothered, so you’re not in trouble. It’s just, I hate how she makes me feel. She’s my mum. Isn’t she supposed to love me? All she wants is to bleed me dry.”
My heart hurt for how much his mum still affected him. “Okay, she’s a bitch, which I think we’ve established, but how is getting drunk going to help?”
“It numbs it. Silences the voice in my head that sounds surprisingly like hers. The voice that tells me I’m worthless and unlovable and everyone will eventually leave me. So I drink, I behave like a prize dick and push people away to prove her right.” His honesty slammed into me like a fist, and I tightened my hand in his, silently trying to reassure him that he was none of those things.
“Does it work?”
“What?” He peered up at me, looking confused.
“The drinking, the drugs, the parties. Did it help you heal? Make you feel better? Did it stop your mum from coming back for more? Did it silence her voice?”
“No,” he whispered as if the realization surprised him.
“All you did was create a temporary fix. You drank. You got high. You had sex with some nameless woman, and it made you feel better for a moment. But the shitty feelings came back so you did those things again, but then you needed more and more of them to get the same effect. That’s how addictions start. Those temporary fixes changed nothing. They simply destroyed all the good in you. You’re letting her destroy you, Tanner.”
He closed his eyes, rubbing small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, his head still hanging low.
