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“No, I am not. He asked me not to. I’m not going to spill secrets that aren’t mine to spill.”
“Isn’t that your whole fucking job, Emmy? To get people to tell you things they don’t want to share and then put them in a book for the world to read,” he fired back, venom hanging off his every word.
“Is that what you think I do?” I stared at him in disbelief. “Seriously? That’s not what I do. I help people get their stories out and turn them into a book people want to read. I’m not a reporter chasing salacious gossip just to get people to buy what I’ve written. If that’s what you think of me, then you don’t know me at all. Excuse me, rock star, I need some space.”
I stormed to the back of the bus, glad that I had my own room right now.
Chapter 24
Tanner
Wefinishedthelastfew gigs of our European tour. Emmy watched each night like always, but otherwise, she did everything she could to avoid me, claiming she was busy writing and needed to focus. I didn’t believe a word of it. She was furious with me. Levi tried not to say, “I told you so,” but it’s what he meant when he suggested I give her the space and take some time to work on myself. He was wrong, of course. What I needed to do was beg her to forgive me.
I knocked on her door, waiting for her to open it, but she didn’t. I knocked again, hearing voices. Twisting the handle, the door opened, letting me walk in to find her and Gray sitting crossed-legged on her bed, staring at each other.
“What the fuck is going on?” I yelled. They turned, looking at me like I was crazy.I’m crazy?Like I was the one sitting on the bed with another woman.
“I’m going to go, Em, before the hulk kicks off, but I can’t thank you enough. I can’t wait for you to meet them.”
“I can’t wait either, Gray. Remember, you’re allowed to be happy, whatever that looks like.”
I watched as he placed a kiss on her forehead before turning to leave, slapping me on the back as he left. Rage erupted in my body like a volcano, but I fought to stay in control and not punch him in the face like I wanted to. However shitty I was feeling about whateverthiswas between them, if I lost my temper again, she would never forgive me.
“Hey, rock star. Can I help you with something?” she asked, her voice flat and low.
“We need to talk. I need to explain. I hate all this. I don’t want you to leave me,” I replied, hating hearing the vulnerability in my words.
Sighing, she shook her head, tapping the bed in front of her for me to sit down. “Tanner, I’m not leaving you. I’m taking a breath. You’re exhausting. Your moods, your excuses, your need to blame everyone and everything else for your behavior except yourself. It’s like living with a yo-yo. I never know what version of you I’m going to get. Gray was the last straw. Did you really think I’d cheat on you with your brother? Really? Did you think he would betray you like that? It’s like you can’t control your emotions. Honestly, it’s like living with a toddler and I’m exhausted. I still love you, but you’re frustrating me, so I took a step back. But I’ve not left you, Tanner.”
“You sound like Levi. He keeps telling me that my emotions are like a child’s. Apparently, it’s normal for addicts who haven’t actually felt anything in years. It’s why he keeps telling me it’s too soon for a relationship.” I stopped suddenly, hoping she didn’t pick up on that last sentence, but of course, she did because it was her.
“What?” she cried, sounding enraged. “He doesn’t think we should be together? Is that why you’re always in such a bad mood after your sessions? Am I making things worse for you, Tan? Be honest, please.”
I crashed my lips against hers, desperate to stop this conversation, but she pushed me away, her hand lingering on my chest.
“No, Tanner. This isn’t going away. Talk to me. Am I making this worse for you?”
I knew I should be honest with her about how Levi felt about our relationship, but I was terrified she’d use it as a reason to walk away. Instead, I begged. “Emmy, I can’t do this without you. Please don’t give up on me. Don’t leave me, angel, because I think I’ll break if you do. I’m doing this for you.”
“And I guess that’s what Levi has a problem with, right? You can’t do this for me, Tan, or because of me, because what if I went away? Your sobriety would fall apart. You have to build it on solid foundations and not on another person.”
“Shit, are you like Levi’s twin? Are you sure you’re not a secret therapist?” I sighed out, frustratedly.
She wrapped her hand in mine. “I’m not going anywhere, Tan, but things can’t go on like this. Your moods, your ever-changing emotions, you being sober for me and not for yourself. I won’t have you lose all your good work because of me. We need to speak to Levi together to work out how to be in this with each other, without it making things harder for you. Check with him if it’s a good idea, but how about once a week we have a session with him together?” She fisted my t-shirt pulling me closer to her. “We can make this work, Tan. I’m not giving up on you or us.”
“You’d do that for me, Emmy, really?” I thought I would lose her, but here she was surprising me again with her selflessness.
“I’d do anything for you, rock star. I love you. Just because I’m annoyed with you, that won’t change.”
Pushing her backward onto the bed, I caged her in with my body, needing to be as close to her as possible, still not convinced she wouldn’t just run at the first chance she got. “Stay with me tonight, angel. I’ve missed you so much. I want to wrap you up in my arms and fall asleep with you.”
“Okay,” she murmured, curling her arms around my neck.
I kissed her lightly on her temple. “And is Gray alright? You don’t need to give me details, but if he’s in trouble, I want to help.”
“He’s all good. I promise. But it’s his story to tell, Tanner. I won’t out his secrets.”
Addi stood in the center of the penthouse living area, hands poised on her hips and a wide smile spread across her face. “Last night in Europe before we head to the US. I know it’s been stressful with everything that’s happened, but otherwise, it’s been amazing. You did a great job, guys, and I’m glad sober Tanner came to join us because the other bloke was a dick. Tomorrow we will be on the private plane to LA and I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for some sun. Right, dig into the pizza, and Emmy, you had some questions for the book you wanted to ask?”
