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“Kitchen, Gray. I can’t have this conversation without a drink in my hand.”
In the kitchen, Ethan let his fingers slip from mine while he poured us all a large measure of whiskey, before downing half of his and refilling his glass.
“Sorry about Ed. Tanner’s been having some problems with a stalker, so Addi has gone crazy with the security. I hate it.”
Ethan growled. “What are you doing here, Gray? It’s been so long. Why did you suddenly get in touch?”
Gray paused, taking a sip of his drink, and coughing before putting it down again.
“Tanner also made us all go sober with him. That’s the first drink I’ve had for months.”
Slamming his glass onto the side, making me jump, Ethan yelled. “Enough small talk, Gray. Explain why you’re suddenly here.”
“We’re having a book written. An autobiography. We have this writer with us, Emmy Winters. She’s pretty magic and she—”
“What? Stole your fucking heart and made you fall in love with her or are you here because you’re worried we’ll sell you out when the book comes out? Either way, Gray, you're so fucking out of line, I should punch you in the face myself.” I moved to stand beside Ethan, but he shook his head at me, stalking from the room, leaving Grayson and me alone.
I paused, taking him in, trying to quell the hurt and anger that surged through me. “Grayson, I don’t know what you want from us. You’ve broken our hearts once and we’re not open for a second attempt. We won’t sell you out if that’s what you’re worried about and we’re happy for you if you’ve moved on.”
“Are you really, firefly?”
“No, of course, I’m not,” I cried. “I told you I loved you. I shared the love of my life with you. I planned a future with you because I couldn’t imagine a life where you weren’t a part of it and then the next morning I woke up and you were gone.Youclimbed out of our bed and left like you were ashamed of us. Like you never loved us.Youran in the night while we slept. So don’t questionmyfeelings. I don’t think I ever knew you, Grayson. Was any of it real?”
He sank down onto one of the stools that surrounded the kitchen island, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, sadness was etched across his face. “Ivy, it was all real. I loved you. I love you. I wanted a life with you both, but it wouldn’t work with the life I have.”
“So, why are you back? To rub it in? Make us hurt more? I won’t let you do that to us. I won’t let you do that to him. You broke him, Grayson. You broke his heart. Both our hearts.”
“I’m so unhappy without you both. I’m not in love with Emmy and I’m not here because I’m scared you will sell me out. I know you won’t. Emmy helped me realize that the band is temporary, but you, you two are my constant. I want you both so much. I will give it all up. The band, the life. Everything. I will quit if I get to be with you.”
I laughed. The sound was harsh and shrill and totally unexpected. I pushed my fingers to my lips while I tried to calm the tornado of emotions swirling around inside me, desperately trying to find a way to release themselves. “The funny thing is, Grayson, we loved you so much we would have changed our world to be with you. Eth and I are self-employed. We can work from anywhere. We’d already talked about going with you, following you just so we could stay with you. We would have given up everything to have a life with you. And instead, you ran while we slept without even talking to us.”
“And then you got married,” he spat out for a second time, before downing his drink, slamming the glass back down onto the counter.
“Yes, we did get married. I won’t apologize for marrying the man I’ve loved for fourteen years. Should we have waited around in the hope that you changed your mind? We got married to remind each other how strong we are together, despite how broken you made us feel. I don’t think you fully understand the effect you had on us both or the damage you left in your wake. I need to check on my husband. You know where your room is. I will see you in the morning.”
Chapter 12
Grayson
Idraggedthepillowsand the thick duvet off the bed and climbed under the sheet. I’d got a lot better since I was last here, but right now, I didn’t deserve any comfort. I deserved to suffer. The bed felt strange and unfamiliar because, in all my time in this house, I’d never slept there. They'd opened their arms for me the day I arrived, and I fell into them. They’d welcomed me into their bed night after night and into their relationship. But I got scared. I ran. Like the coward I was. And seeing them tonight, it was obvious how angry and hurt they were.
I broke the people I loved most in the world. And I had no idea how to make it better or whether it was even possible to make them forgive me.
I heard raised voices from somewhere down the hall. Not angry, but emotional. I strained to listen, but I only made out a single sentence.
“Fine, princess. If you need to, but I’m not happy.”
And then everything went quiet. I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing. The familiar itch spread like poison under my skin.
A soft knock tapped against my door before it opened.
“Grayson, are you awake? I can’t wait until tomorrow. I can’t sleep. And I also won’t leave you alone to spiral because I know you probably are, so let’s go get a coffee. Come downstairs. Tell us what you need to say. I promise we’ll listen.”
I jumped from the bed and pulled on my sweats, not bothering with a top. I was so desperate for a moment with them both it was all I could think about. What happened next, I couldn’t explain. An ache, muscle memory, love? I didn’t know what made me do it, but I reached out for her fingers and wrapped her hand in mine.
She stopped dead and let out a loud sob, forcing her free hand over her heart.
I tried to pull back, realizing I’d overstepped a line, but she didn’t let me go. She bound her hand tighter in mine and squeezed before leading me downstairs to the kitchen.
