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“I would. I offered you my heart. This is me loving you, Gray. I would do anything to make you and Ivy happy. I think this is what I’m meant to do. If you want me to.”
“Spend every day with you, watch you boss everyone around. Fuck. Yes, please.” Gray whispered, his scruff brushing my neck and his hand working my cock.
“You know, I’m starting to like you both taking control a bit more. Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age,” I groaned out as he wrapped his hand tighter around my shaft.
“There is nothing soft about you. I think you do alright for an old man. But you’re right, I do like controlling you. It makes my balls ache to know I’m the one who gets to be inside you.”
“Then stop talking and do it, before I come all over your hand.”
Gray released my cock and held out his hand in front of me. “Spit.”
Working my mouth, I spat into his outstretched palm and listened to him moan as he covered his cock in it. He dropped to his knees before he spread my ass, rimming my tight hole with his tongue. It felt so feral and real. As if he was so desperate for me that he couldn’t hold off long enough to search for some lube.
“Hold on baby, because I am going to fuck you until your legs give way.”
“Do it,” I growled.
I braced my hands back against the door and delighted in the burn as he pushed himself inside me, railing into me until we both came noisily together.
Chapter 30
Ivy
“Areyouokay,princess?”Ethan asked as he stood in the doorway of our bedroom, staring at me as I sat at the dressing table, trying to tame my curls in the mirror.
“I’m fine,” I replied, my tone flat and emotionless.
“I’ll take that as a no. Talk to me, Ivy. Honesty, remember? We’ve always been so good at talking about things.”
“Do you know how hilarious that sounds right now? You just saved a rock band, offered to be their press officer, and then got promoted to their manager without even mentioning any of it to me, Eth. Do you know how that makes me feel?” I tried to hide the wobble in my voice as I spoke to him, the emotion I’d been fighting to suppress since the Cosmic Gods appeared at our front door yesterday, and my world imploded, starting to bubble to the surface.
“I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. And I had no intention of managing them. I offered to do the press and PR stuff, but you’re right, I should have discussed this with you. I should have involved you.” Ethan reached out to comfort me, but I couldn’t let him. I was way too hurt to give in to his touch.
I span around in my seat, so I looked directly at him. “Our whole relationship has always been about being open and honest and I won’t lie and pretend this didn’t hurt. Not what you did, because that was amazing and I love you for protecting Grayson like that, but why wouldn’t you speak to me… tell me your plan? I felt like you left me out. That hurts like hell.”
“Ivy, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Fuck, I’m the worst.”
“We’re meant to be the summer stars, making each other stronger and shine brighter, but you made me feel invisible. I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt as angry or hurt, Eth. Not in all our time together. You didn’t confide in me, didn’t explain. You blindsided me. You decided to change everything about our lives without even mentioning it to me. I need some space. Room to breathe. I don’t know how to do this if I feel on the outside of my marriage.”
Ethan looked panicked and reached out for me, but changed his mind, his arm falling to his side defeatedly. “Outside? Ivy, what do you mean, outside? That was never my intention. I didn’t tell you until I had something to share. That was it. I wanted to help Gray, but I didn’t want to make you have to keep secrets from him.”
“But you were okay to keep them from me. Fifteen years together, Eth and we have based our whole relationship on honesty. You shifted everything by not being honest with me. I feel like you’ve rocked the foundations of everything we had, and I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”
Voicing how I felt sent a shot of pain tearing through my body, bile bubbling in my throat as I looked at the man I’d loved for a lifetime, worried I didn’t recognize him anymore. Standing quickly, I ran to the ensuite bathroom, losing my breakfast as I heaved into the toilet.
I heard Ethan outside the door, asking quietly if I was okay, but I couldn’t find the strength to answer.
I told the boys I had an upset tummy and slept alone in the spare room. Ethan stared at me with hurt and pain in his eyes. Gray smiled and almost melted my angry heart. I slept fleetingly and gave up even trying as the sun broke through the dark night. Nausea hit me hard and I wondered what I’d eaten, swearing never to eat it again. Clambering from the bed, I just made it to the bathroom, throwing up again into the sink. I swilled some water around my mouth and decided to get some fresh air.
Although it was British summertime, it would still be chilly in the early morning sun, so I pulled on one of Grayson’s hoodies from the laundry and some leggings, dressing quickly. Slipping on my trainers I stepped outside, trusting that the early time of day would mean I wouldn’t have to worry about people or taking security—something Ethan and I had to do all the time now we were married to Grayson.
I walked for a while, along the country roads near the house, eventually finding a lake I loved, but didn’t get to nearly often enough. I made my way to one of the benches and sat, staring out at the pink sky and the flat mirrored surface of the water.
I hated how angry I was. Ethan and I had always been able to talk through our problems, but this felt huge. He’d kept the whole thing a secret. Something that would change our lives forever. He hadn’t even thought to discuss it with me, asked what I thought, or wondered what I wanted.Would I stay home, while the two of them traveled the world? Would I follow them, always putting their needs first? Where did I even fit into his plan?I felt invisible and that hurt like hell.
I pulled out my phone and typed him a message.
Me: 15 years of honesty and you chose now to keep secrets. Do you not love me anymore? Was I not part of your new life plan? Your decision about this has made me question everything. I think I need some space Eth. Tell Grayson I’m sorry. I don’t feel part of our constellation right now. I feel like you left me out here on my own.
