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ChapterTwenty-Three
Post-holiday blues were a bitch.
The thought occurred to Bethany for what must have been the tenth time in the past couple of hours alone.
She had expected the break to make her feel rejuvenated and ready to tackle the world.
The truth was somewhat less inspiring.
Just as she’d feared, all it had really done was highlight, in sharp relief, everything that was lacking in her life and emphasize the drudgery of her day-to-day existence.
What had seemed numbingly dull before now seemed ten times worse. Having a taste of how different life could be - not just because of the holiday setting - but in seeing how much Mitch, Jed, Sawyer and even Jasmine enjoyed their jobs. How fulfilled they all were and how much optimism they had.
Beth didn’t have any of that, and now she was home again she felt like she’d exchanged that warm splash of color and energy for drab city streets and hard slog without any recognition or gratitude.
Not even the supposed vivid energy of New York City helped. The high-rise buildings that blocked out the sky, the choking exhaust fumes of bumper-to-bumper traffic, and indifferent bustle of people who existed in their own little world just made her yearn for the warmth of the friendships she’d left behind and the wide-open spaces filled with tropical ocean breeze.
Work sucked even more than it had before after seeing the healthy team environment her new friends all worked within and the appreciation they were shown by their superiors.
But there was more to her melancholy than just that, even though it was the excuse she used to herself as much as anyone else.
She missed them.
Mitch, Jed, and Sawyer; she missed all three of them with equal intensity. It wasn’t just that they’d rocked her world; she missed the laughter and the easy camaraderie. And she definitely missed the mind-blowing sex!
But there was so much more to it.
If the distance wasn’t so much of an object, then she would certainly have wanted to continue seeing them. She thought the feeling was mutual, despite how impossible it all seemed.
They’d left things open - sort of.
While none of them had spoken in terms of a more intimate relationship, an ongoing friendship had been taken as assured.
And that was sensible. Exactly what she wanted… wasn’t it?
She’d thought it was as she stood on the tarmac with them, waiting for the helicopter, which would take her to Miami airport for her connecting flight to JFK.
She’d been deeply touched that they’d cared enough to make the time to see her off. There had been people around, the ground crew and flight crew and others who were just arriving, but there had been no judgment at the fact she stood, crowded by three different men, each of whom kissed her deeply and pulled her into an intimate embrace. It had just seemed normal and accepted. It was only now she was home she could appreciate how not normal it had been and how unique that acceptance was.
Despite how her chest had tightened at the thought of that golden moment in time coming to an end and the deep sorrow of leaving them behind, she’d truly believed that it was simply part of that normal holiday regret.
Now, though she wasn’t so sure. She felt heartsick and on the borders of a depression that felt far deeper than the normal holiday blues.
She felt like she’d left part of herself behind on Elysium.
Right now, she didn’t even have Ansley to use as a sounding board because her friend was embroiled in some kind of argument with the kind of dudes you didn’t mess with.
And she was married! Beth couldn’t even get her head around that one. These guys hadn’t even been on the scene when she’d left, two short weeks ago, so how had that happened?
It sure as hell didn’t help with her blues though. Beth was at once both hurt that the wedding had happened without her knowledge or an invitation; and terrified that her impulsive friend had gotten herself in way too deep with the wrong kind of people. These men were mafia! Bratva or some such thing that innocent New York heiresses shouldn’t be messing with. She felt like she should be riding to Ansley’s rescue but getting hold of her friend was proving difficult. Something that just made Beth all the more concerned.
Not that she could do anything more about it right now. She was dangerously close to being late for work on her first day back, and as much as the thought of going back to her office depressed her, she needed to pay for the roof over her head.
Thirty minutes later, Beth walked through the reception area and raised a half-hearted hand to the girl behind the desk. She got a polite nod in return, but that was it. No bright smile. No asking how her break had been. It was sad.
But then what did she expect? She’d worked here for four years and didn’t even know the girl’s name. She was just as much to blame. She’d allowed herself to fall into the same bleak, standoffish trap that this unfriendly environment fostered on the shop floor. The receptionist wasn’t after her job as an account’s supervisor.
As she crossed the vast, monotonous expanse of cubbies to get to her tiny office she tried not to get disheartened at the thought of settling back into her lifeless, humdrum routine.
