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Elodie slammed her cereal spoon down onto the breakfast bar, making me jolt, then did it again to get the same reaction.
I raised a finger to my lips, trying my hardest not to crack a smile. “Shhhh, El, Mummy’s asleep, remember? We need to be quiet.”
“Quiet,” she whispered—loudly—and widened her round hazel eyes. “More blueberries please,” she sang at the top of her lungs.
I cursed under my breath and ran a hand down my face. “El,whisper!”
“Whisper,” she repeated, barely at hushed levels.
Our little girl grew more like her mumma with each passing day, volume included.
“Now can I have more blueberries?”
I chuckled, unable to say no when she looked at me like that.
“Here you go. But leave some for Mummy,” I cautioned, sliding the container to her.
“I leave some for Mummy,” El told herself while taking a first, then a second fistful, barely leaving a third of the blueberries.
I snagged the container away and raised my brows at her. She popped a toothy grin that had me smothering another smile. Terrible-twos didn’t have shit on the three-year-old sass my daughter possessed.
Shuffling footsteps in the hallway drew my eyes to Lil when she emerged, barely awake and squinting against the bright morning sunlight. She’d always been a terrible morning person, so I quietly gathered her into my arms and hugged her close.
“You’re up early, Sunshine. Sorry if El woke you; I was trying to keep her quiet.”
Lil snorted. “Good luck with that. And no, she didn’t. I was too excited to sleep in. It’s been forever since we’ve gone for a ride together.”
I planted a kiss deep amongst the bundle of messy auburn hair on the top of her head.
The days of us jumping on my Victory and going for a carefree cruise together had all but disappeared since Elodie arrived. We’d planned today, but little did Lil know that I had extra plans for us—ones that I’d kept secret from her.
“I’ll make you a cup of tea. Do you want muesli and blueberries too?” I offered.
Lil’s eyes lit with gratitude. “Yes please.”
“I saved you some berries, Mummy,” Elodie said sweetly.
“Thank you, my little babe.” Lil then turned to me. “Are we heading south to visit Lotte today?”
My heart both leapt and lurched. Lotte was my first love. My wife who’d been torn from this world decades too soon. Her traumatic passing sent me headlong into a three-year spiral, one where I’d given up trying to make it through the pain.
A family intervention saw me moving to Auckland, and it was during that hellish time that I’d met Lil.
She crashed into my life—literally—and dragged me kicking and screaming from the darkest of depths while healing me in ways I never thought possible. She and Elodie were now my entire world after my previous one shattered.
While guilt over moving on with my life gnawed at times, Lil had taught me that it was okay to openly talk about Lotte when I needed to, and it was her suggestion for Elodie’s middle name to be Charlotte, in honour of my late wife.
I studied Lil intently, having a moment where reality didn’t seem true. After vowing to never remarry, my heart had other ideas, and I’d proposed to Lil last year.
I carefully handed her a mug while answering her question. “Not today, Sunshine. I’ll visit Lotte another day. Perhaps between Christmas and New Year.”
“Lotte,” Elodie sang before popping a blueberry into her mouth. She munched, then looked at me. “Can I see Lotte too?”
“No, sweetie. Just Daddy will visit her.”
Her inquisitive eyes, identical in colour to Lil’s, remained unblinking. “Why?”
“Because.”
