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“Did you ever get to talk to your family today?” he asked.
“Briefly. The nieces and nephews were opening their stockings so there was a lot of excitement but they all sounded good and looking forward to all my pictures and stories when I return.”
“Let’s not talk about when you return,” he said. “Not when it’s Christmas.”
She looked deep into his eyes. “Itisstill Christmas, isn’t it?”
And then his hands were in her hair, pulling the strands away from her face. His lips brushed her cheekbone, and then beneathher ear. He kissed the corner of her mouth and then finally, her lips.
Last night had been a fairly brief kiss. It had been warm, and careful. This kiss was not.
This kiss was hungry and fierce, and the pressure of his mouth made her lips tingle and heat race through her, her body lit by streaks of white hot sensation. She pressed closer, kissing him back, letting him know how much she cared. It was the most natural thing in the world to want him, the most natural thing to need him. He smelled good, he tasted good, he tasted like love.
The kiss went on for a deliciously long time. Cara was breathless when it ended, and she gazed up into Alec’s eyes, more smitten than ever. He was gorgeous and his touch made her feel things she’d never felt before.
Heart racing, she leaned against him, trying to catch her breath. “What have you done to me?” she whispered, beyond dazzled.
“I would hope nothing bad,” he teased.
“Just the opposite,” she said, head still spinning. “I’m crazy about you. I’m falling for you. I hope it doesn’t scare you, but Alec, I think I love you.”
Chapter Fourteen
She thought sheloved him.
Her words hit hard, as hard as if he’d been struck with a sledgehammer. Alec lay on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to take it all in.
If she hadn’t said anything, if she’d just kissed him and gone to bed, he wouldn’t be lying there upset. Instead, he’d be thinking what an amazing week. What a wonderful Christmas. Because he’d never had a Christmas like this, not even when married. His Madeleine loved him, but she’d never been able to successfully embrace his family and, to be honest, he hadn’t expected her to since he’d had a hard time with them.
For years, he’d called Frederick, Emma, and Dorothy, relatives, as in people related to him, but this week they’d become dear to him, truly family, and he knew who to thank for that.
Cara had a gift for making people feel welcome. Making them feel valued. She’d taken this enormous pile of stone and somehow turned it into a home, not just for him, but for Uncle Frederick and Aunt Emma and Dorothy. Alec was astonished at how much he’d enjoyed the past few days—the stories, the photo albums, thegames.
The music. She’d gotten everyone to sing. Carols, for goodness’ sake.
And Cara’s voice… she had the voice of an angel. Why didn’t she ever tell him? Why was she so humble? She had so much beauty and so much strength and sweetness. He’d never met a woman like her. He knew he’d never forget her. He’d enjoyedevery day she’d been here, but when she said tonight she was crazy about him, that she was falling for him, and loved him, everything within him froze.
He froze, aware that he’d done the very thing he’d spent the past few years avoiding. Entanglements. Complications. Disappointing others.
Had he liked kissing her? Yes. Had he felt strong emotions this week? Yes. Had it been a special Christmas? Yes.
Was she the one?
No.
It had nothing to do with Madeleine. His decision had nothing to do with grief. His decision was about being smart and practical.
He’d known from the beginning she would leave, and he’d never questioned how this would end. It would end with her getting on a plane on December twenty-seventh and flying home. That was how it ended, because there was no other option.
It wouldn’t work if she stayed. What would she do? He couldn’t imagine her in London, couldn’t imagine her fitting into his world there. She’d have nothing to do, and he’d be at work until late every evening. They’d rarely be together. She wasn’t a city person, she said as much. For his part, his work was in the city, his life was in the city. This was just an escape for a few days each year. It wasn’t as if he could leave her here waiting for him to return for long weekends.
She was a family person. She loved her family. She enjoyed being a sister and an aunt. She loved holidays and weekends where she could be with everyone. How could he take her from her world and bury her in his?
It wouldn’t be fair or kind.
What he needed was to find someone like her—but who was English. He needed a British Cara who’d fit into his world, whounderstood him and the demands on him, and would make things easier.
Alec’s chest tightened, his gut burning. His happiness faded.
