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It was one thing if Cara even lived in New York, a six-hour flight from London, but Seattle? Bellingham? It was just too far. He couldn’t do it.
He wasn’t going to risk everything on a long-distance anything. Just like Elizabeth hadn’t been right, well, Cara wasn’t right, either. She came close, though. She’d certainly taken up some space in his heart. But he wouldn’t lose his heart. Not to her, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
Alec’s peace was gone, but in its place was resolve. He knew what he had to do, he knew how his life needed to be organized, knew the priorities and the discipline required for it all to work. As amazing, and warm and loving—and giving—as Cara was, she didn’t fit into his world. She deserved more than the box that was his life. He hated to admit it, but she wasn’t right for him. She didn’t belong in his future, or the rest of his life. And the sooner she was off, the sooner she was gone, the sooner he could forget her.
*
It was BoxingDay, which meant nothing to Cara, but it was a British holiday, and when Uncle Frederick tried the television in the morning, just as he always did, it worked. The news program he liked was on and, with a happy sigh, he settled down into a chair in the morning room to watch TV.
Cara joined him for a half hour, eager to catch up on news she’d missed. The airlines were flying again, but after three days of flights being grounded, it was chaos at Heathrow, with long lines and unhappy customers.
Uncle Frederick asked her if her return flight had been impacted and she said not that she knew of. Which meant she’d be leaving tomorrow. Frederick said he was ready to leave today, if his house had its power back.
Cara leaned forward. “Was your power out, Uncle Frederick?”
“It was, I think. Yes.”
Cara frowned. “Is that why you arrived early on Thursday?”
“Yes. Didn’t I tell Alec that? I thought I’d told him that something had happened. Wasn’t sure to be honest if the entire village lost power, or if it was just me. Sometimes I forget to pay the bills—not because I want to forget—but I put them somewhere so I don’t misplace them, and then can’t find them.” He made a face. “I don’t like forgetting things. I find it most annoying.”
“I’m twenty-seven and I forget things all the time. Let me go speak with Alec and see what he thinks should be done.”
Cara knocked on the door of Alec’s study, and he answered with a rather sharp yes. She opened the door, peeked in. He was at his desk and he didn’t look friendly.
“Your uncle Frederick thinks he lost power at his house,” she said. “He doesn’t remember if it was just him, or the entire village.”
“Why would it be just him?”
“He said that he might have failed to pay the electric bill. He said it happens sometimes.”
“When did he say all of this?” Alec said brusquely, his gaze fixed on a point just past her ear.
“Just now. He was worried about what he would return to when he leaves tomorrow.”
Alec sighed and stood up. He crossed the room, passed her by, and went to speak to his uncle without a single glance at her.
It was then that Cara understood how much things had changed.
Yes, he’d been preoccupied at breakfast, but she’d just thought he was busy, and still on an emotional high from last night. And then she suspected he had work that had come up and he had to disappear into his study. But when she went to him now, to share with him Frederick’s concerns, he acted as if she was no one. He passed by her as if she was invisible.
Cara was a strong person but something within her shriveled up, mortified. Something was very wrong. But what and why?
She didn’t understand, but clearly he’d put up a wall, his infamous reserve returning. She was suddenly too intimidated to ask him directly, so she held back and watched and waited.
He left a room if she entered. He barely said three words to her. He took the dogs out without inviting her.
There were no smile anymore, no catching her eye, no private joke.
Alec never returned to tell her what had been decided about Frederick. It was Frederick who later told her that Alec would be sending Trimble to Frederick’s house and he’d check out the situation. If all was well, then Alec would drive his uncle home and get him settled.
Cara liked the plan, and was glad there was a plan, but wasn’t sure why Alec couldn’t tell her.
It was as if she’d become invisible. He didn’t see her… or, he didn’t want to see her.
Maybe he was just worn out from having people around. After all, he was an introvert and was used to quiet and alone time.
Maybe he just needed more space, time for him to unwind, rest.
