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His head dropped for a few seconds before eyeing me with sadness. “Don’t fuck with me, please.”
Shaking my head, I glanced away from him, feeling spent. I had no words to say anymore. I felt so drained. The thought of him leaving for good frightened me, however. I loved him, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the words any more.
Sliding back in bed, I peaked my ears to listen to him. After five minutes with no sign of him moving, I thought he was getting ready to leave when I heard him walk to my side before sliding in bed next to me.
Intense relief washed over me before I felt his arms tug me against his body, spooning me close. “We’re miserable people, but we’re worse when we’re apart.”
How true his statement was. This cycle wouldn’t end unless we were together.
Kissing the back of my neck, he left a few more before whispering into my ear. “I wasn’t going anywhere…but I had to see if you meant what you said about not loving me anymore.” His hand sought mine before holding it close to my chest. “You don’t know how happy it makes me to know that you still do.”
CHAPTER68
Grey
I waiteduntil she was fast asleep, testing her a few times before I concluded she was completely knocked out cold. Her medication guaranteed deep sleep, and she usually took it before bedtime. So after our fight leaving her exhausted, I was sure she’d sleep like a log.
The idea came to me after an hour of holding her in my arms. And when it came, I immediately took action. After what had just happened tonight, I knew we both needed this. She was still fragile, yet she had her amazing courage and an endless fire within her that I admired.
She was merely hurt and insecure. And I hated that it was me who had made her that way. I had to make amends, hoping that, maybe, I could start healing her little by little, one step at a time.
It was ten in the morning when Olivia decided to join the rest of the living, yawning and stretching before reaching out for me. I loved the fact that it was me she always hung onto every morning, murmuring how much she missed me. I wasn’t sure if she thought I was asleep or not, however I always hid a smile every time she did it. She had it in the very beginning of when we dated and had carried on the habit whenever she and I slept together.
“Shit!Grey!” She immediately sat upright as if someone had buzzed her with electricity. “We’re not home.”
Again, I smiled at her cuteness. If life were this easy every day, things would be so different for sure.
“Hmm?” I pretended to be half asleep, amused at her reaction.
“I said we’re not home in my apartment! I don’t understand—it’s not like we’ve been kidnapped because we’re not tied up...” She trailed off before I felt the stinging slap of her hand on my shoulder. “This is all you!”
I couldn’t help barking out a laugh. “It took you that long to guess? I bet no one wanted you to be on their team during charades.” When she looked taken aback by my joke, I immediately felt bad and pulled her back to bed, kissing her neck. “I think you’re the best at everything.”
She snorted, elbowing me, but she was smiling. “Where are we?”
“Big bear.”
She twisted her face to look at me. “Is this the…? You know.”
My eyes twinkled as I watched her blush. “Is this the what? The place where I took your precious cherry?”
“You’re on a roll, aren’t you?” She smacked me again.
My heart swelled a little, remembering that special night that had been seared into my heart. “Just happy, Liv. Just happy to have you.”
“I’m sorry about last night. I was in such a bad place. It’s been really hard.”
“I’m sorry, too… for everything.” I had held back from kissing her after she got back from the hospital, but at that moment, I just couldn’t control it. It was as if I needed to taste just a little of her to spark the uncontrollable fire in me. Kissing her always made me forget everything. It always reminded me of why she was the only one that mattered. “I know I’ve done you wrong, but I hope it’s not too late to start over again.”
She gave me a shocked, horrified look. “No. Just no. Don’t feel sorry for me. Is that why you brought me here?”
“Not necessarily. But you started thisFuck My Lifecampaign because of me. I want to fix this with you, Liv. I can’t see you live like this. I won’t forgive myself. This isn’t you. The Olivia I knew wouldn’t give up so easily. She was brave, a spitfire of a woman who wouldn’t let anything stop her from getting anything she wanted…”
“She’s gone…” she whispered.
“I don’t believe you.” I reached out to touch her heart. “She’s in here somewhere, and I want to guide her back home.” I was going about this all wrong, yet I wasn’t sure where to start. Our relationship was not messed up. It was a disaster. Fixing it might not even work. However, I was willing to give it another shot. It was killing me not to have her and tell the world she was mine.
“Youused to be my home, Grey.”
