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1
NYLAH
Ipaced the living room in the cathedral, trying to calm down. I couldn’t. The sound of my footsteps on the stone floors echoed through the room, bouncing between the arches high above.
Despite the curtains being open, the gray light from outside didn’t force its way into the room, and all the candles in the cathedral were lit. It gave the strange sensation that time stood still—it didn’t feel like day, and it didn’t feel like night.
My mind raced, my heart hammered against my ribs, and my stomach twisted and turned in knots. I ran my hands over my hair, feeling the thick braid that hung down my back.
My head throbbed dully; I hadn’t slept well the last couple of days. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the vision Terra had given me. I saw a picture of me and Dex, wearing mating robes. His face was bright, his eyes smiling. I saw us together, a mate bond so powerful, it shook the very foundations of Jasfin. We’d been destined to be together since birth.
That part of the vision was always filled with love and light. It warmed me to see us together. Dex had always had a special place in my heart, and to know that he was my forever…
It was here where the vision changed. I saw us together, smiling at each other, and then the picture was ripped down the middle, tearing us apart. The page with our faces on it started to burn, to crumple, withdraw, become black under the flames until the picture was ruined, and so was our union. Our mate bond was no more.
“Why?” I cried out to Terra. “Why would you do that to me? Why would you give me someone to love, only to show me that you’ll take him away again?”
I waited for an answer. It didn’t come.
Since Terra had shown me the vision at Deron’s dedication ceremony, she’d abandoned me. The power had been so strong that day, inaugurating Vanya as Palgia’s new high priestess and Deron to the throne as the crown prince. The vision that had followed had been almost expected—when Terra was present and her power so thick it drowned everyone in the room, I often got visions of the future, of what would be, or prophecies that offered answers to questions that had been asked.
I hadn’t asked anything about Dex. I hadn’t had questions about our future.
“Nylah?” Ellie asked, and I jumped, whirling around to face her.
The Queen of Jasfin stood in my living room, her red hair loose over her shoulders. Her blue eyes had a sapphire hue thanks to the deep blue dress she wore. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she added when she saw my wide eyes.
I waved my hand, taking a deep breath, trying to ease the anxiety. “It’s okay, I was deep in…thought.” I would have said reflection, but with Terra present, was that what it was?
Ellie frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Fine, fine,” I said and walked to one dark neo-baroque couch facing the hearth. I traced my fingers along the golden thread that outlined the couch, drinking in the warmth that came from the flames in the gigantic fireplace.
I hoped to Terra that it would warm me. I felt like I’d frozen over.
A servant had stoked the fire early this morning. Despite being on the cusp of summer, the weather was cold. Rain hadn’t stopped falling for days, and a chill hung in the air, as if it tried to hold onto the winter rather than reaching for the sunlight that lay ahead. I’d opened the drapes that covered the tall ogival arched windows in my cathedral this morning and shivered at the cold it let through.
“Here.” Ellie held out a parcel, wrapped in silk and tied with a ribbon. “Dex sent it.”
I smiled despite my panicked state of mine. Dex had traveled to Gloverbalt this week to inspect one of the warrior academies and see his nephews and his sister, who all lived there. When he went, he always brought me back something.
When I pulled the ribbon, the silk unfurled, and I held bags of herbs in my hand. They were for the tea I brewed.
I pressed them against my nose and breathed in deeply. The scent of the herbs was divine, bringing along with them the scent of the ocean.
I looked at Ellie, and a small smile rested on her lips. She didn’t say anything, and neither did I. We both knew Dex and I had a special relationship.
I carefully wrapped the parcel up again and put it on a shelf nearby. I would use it later.
My stomach twisted, and panic returned, replacing the momentary joy I’d felt about receiving Dex’s gift.
“How’s Deron doing?” I asked, focusing my attention on Ellie.
“He’s still the same,” she said with a sigh and sank onto the couch for me. “I don’t know what’s going on. The healers tell me he’s out of the danger age—anything before a year old is a problem, but at eighteen months, he should be okay. I just don’t feel like he is, and it scares me.”
I summoned a servant for tea.
“I wish I could do more,” I said.
