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Josh glances at Jeremy, as if just now remembering that there’s someone else, other than me here. “What are you up to these days?”
“Working offshore. Good money.” Jeremy shrugs.
Jeremy opted out of college. Totally pissed Mom off. The only thing Jeremy ever wanted was to play football. First for UT, then pro. He’s a big guy, not a lick of fat on him. Too good-looking for his own good, but his grades didn’t hold up. That’s what came from being Mom’s favorite. Oh, he’s smart, really smart, but he never got pushed, never had the incentive to strive to be accepted because he was accepted from day one. The perk of being Mom’s fave. Jeremy stays away from Boar Creek as much as Liam and I do but for different reasons. He said Mom drives him crazy trying to get him to take classes, that it’s never too late to get his degree.
Jeremy shoves his hands into his pockets. “How long are you in town for?” he asks Josh.
I could hug him for that because I’m wondering the same thing myself. Something else I’m wondering is why Jeremy and Josh seem to be acting weird toward one another. Did something happen after I moved away for college that left them in a strained friendship? They used to be inseparable.
“Was leaving this afternoon.” Josh gives me a look. “Took a quick drive, for old times’ sake.” He cocks his head to the left, looks at the area at the top of the concrete incline under the bridge—our spot—then shrugs. “Memories and sh—stuff.”
Ugh. He was going to say shit. Double ugh.Was it because of something we said or because of something we didn’t say? I wish I could figure out what he’s thinking.
“We should probably go,” Liam says.
Jeremy purses his lips and doesn’t say a word either way.
Josh’s jaw is working, his muscles moving. I twist my T-shirt at the hem, wringing it. I love my brothers, but damn, I wish they hadn’t shown up.
Josh nods. “I guess I should, too. Got a few hours to drive before I get home.”
Hours from home? Exactly where in Austin did he move to? When did he move? I have all these questions and can’t even ask them. At least not now. Maybe never.
“Hey.” Jeremy puts his hand on Josh’s shoulder. “You coming down for Christmas?”
Josh shrugs. “Not sure I got a reason to. Maybe. You gonna be here?” He’s talking to Jeremy but makes a quick glance my way.
Jeremy nods. “Mom wouldn’t have it any other way.”
A sneer crosses Josh’s face at the mention of my mother. He cares for her about as much as she does for him. None.
“Maybe I’ll see you then.” Again, he’s telling Jeremy, but he shoots me a look.
I fight to keep the excitement from effusing my heart, but it’s a losing battle. Hope has taken root, and I’m hoping this time around, it doesn’t screw me over again.
My brothers and I head toward Dad’s truck and Jeremy’s Mustang. Josh goes the other direction. Pretty much confirming my thought that he’d pulled around to the other side of the bridge.
I want to look back, to watch him departing, to set in my memory the way he looks when he’s leaving, broad shoulders, arms swinging, muscular legs pulling long strides through the reeds. I can just imagine it, but I want to see it. However, the idea that my brothers will notice, and it will be brought up, is what wins. I don’t turn around. Which means I also don’t know if Josh turned to look at me.
As soon as we’re off the cement, my steps get slow because I’m barefooted.
“Hang on.” Liam stops and turns his back my way. “Hop on.”
He gives me a piggyback ride to the cars while Jeremy walks next to us.
They don’t want me driving alone, so Liam drives Dad’s truck, and I ride with him. Jeremy follows in his car.
The ride’s not a long one, but I’m worried Liam’s going to want to talk about Josh. He may be younger than me by a year, but he’s still one of my best friends. Liam knows how it hit me when Jeremy and I weren’t together. He’s really the only one that knows the full depth. I had different roommates back then, so the ones I have now don’t really know much. I haven’t discussed Josh with my current roommates, even though they’re my very closest friends. Bringing him up would’ve taken me to a place that I’ve tried hard to avoid being in for more than a year now.
Naturally, tonight just put me inthatplace with the ferocity and the quickness of a WWF move—which, personally, I don’t watch, but Dad used to.
Liam starts the car and pulls away from the bridge. I scan out the window to see if I get a glimpse of what Josh is driving. I don’t see his car or even any headlights.
“How are you holding up?”
Just like Liam, to get straight to the heart of the matter. Just like Liam to know that I’m going through something.
“I’m good,” I lie, because I’m not good, but I’m not bad either. I’m confused, unsure if this is the beginning of something, like if he’s going to look for me during Christmas break, or unsure if this was a once-a-decade thing, running into Josh.
