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I winced as if bracing for a punch, the tense feeling refusing to go away. I trailed behind her slowly, my body tense, knowing full well what I’d be doing during first period.
Iimmediately knew, as soon as I loaded Babble, that I should’ve listened to Rachel.
StarBoi28:Could you imagine being labeled to marry a math book??? LOL
BrentwoodBobs:OMG, super awkward
HeartEyes422:Have you met Macy Matthews, tho? TOTALLY fits.
I wasn’t the only one targeted—the Most Likely To digs extended beyond math geeks, apparently—but there were enough for me to memorize, and for them to replay on a loop throughout the entire day. Every time I locked eyes with a random student in the hall, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were StarBoi28 or HeartEyes422.Totally fits.
I should’ve transferred to Jefferson when I had the chance.
To preserve my sanity, and a little bit of my self-esteem, I held onto Rachel’s promise of the list dying down after a week. She had to be right. After a week, what was there left to talk about? All the punch lines and gossip threads were overused.
It was last period that left me the most unsettled. A class I’d always felt so comfortable in left me feeling too seen. I’d been comfortable in my element, and now my element made me feel embarrassed.
Especially when Mrs. Diego called on me with ten minutes left to the class.
I’d had my head down, diligently working on next week’s homework, when I heard my name.
“Maisie? Can you tell me the first step to getting the answer for the equation on the board?”
My mouth ran dry as I met Mrs. Diego’s stare, feeling more than a little betrayed. She never called on me. She always knew I’d know the answer. Why did she have to start drawing attention to me now?
I glanced at the equation on the board only momentarily, ready for the attention to switch back to her. “I’m not sure.”
Mrs. Diego began nodding before she froze. She regarded the board, almost as if trying to spot a mistakeshemade. “You don’t know?”
I ducked my head, wishing the graffitied surface could swallow me whole.
“Um, well, Jia—can you give me the first step?”
It’d come as an instinct, saying that I didn’t know, a sort of self-preservation. As if getting the answer wrong would prove that Iwasn’ta math geek.
Ugh, pathetic. I was pathetic.
When the bell rang signaling the end of the school day, I’d already been expecting Mrs. Diego asking me to stay behind.
“I’m having an off day today,” I told her, unable to keep the defensiveness from leaking into my voice as I approached her desk. I readjusted the strap of my satchel against my neck, the nylon biting into my skin. “I—I wasn’t paying close attention.”
Mrs. Diego looked up at me from her chair. “I’ve heard about the Most Likely To list.”
Wow, so even teachers gossiped about it. That made me feel even more embarrassed, which I didn’t even think was possible. I could imagine them surrounding a table in the teacher’s lounge, reacting to each label. “It’s no big deal.”
What I actually meant wasI don’t want to talk about it, because even though Mrs. Diego was my favorite teacher, the levels of awkwardness would be unmatched. She’d probably give me a mathematic focused speech. “Think of it like an equation—how can you convert this negative into a positive?”
Which, fine, it would’ve been a good speech, but she wasn’t old enough to come across as motherly, she also wasn’t young enough for me to take her “your worth isn’t decreed by a list” encouragement without feeling monumentally embarrassed.
“Oh, good, I caught you.”
A new voice had both Mrs. Diego and me turning to the door where Principal Oliphant stepped through. Immediately, my guard went up. The memory of her brushing me off yesterday stung, and I wasn’t so certain I could muster up any ounce of politeness for her.
She glanced between us before glancing around the empty desks. Once confirming that the math room was empty, she promptly shut the door. “Maisie,” she greeted, venturing closer. “I wanted to thank you.”
Something about her sudden presence unnerved me, especially with the only escape route closed off. “Thank me for what?”
Mrs. Diego took the principal’s words as some sort of cue, because she straightened in her chair and brought out a collection of papers from her printer. Even from here, I could see the top sheet was covered in ink. “Maisie, I printed out a schedule you can follow, if you choose to, and which chapters are going to be on the test.”
