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He walked back in slowly. “Naia?”
She was sitting on the bed, but got up. “I need to get back to the fort, you know that.” There was still that lingering coldness, lingering formality in her. Lingering fear?
It was true that they didn’t know each other that much, it was true that perhaps things had moved somewhat fast, but then, there was this wonderful magic when they both got together, and he couldn’t forget the moment he had first seen her, so many years before. There had been much more than all these short moments between them.
“I want to apologize,” he said, even if he was struggling with the words. “It doesn’t change anything, it won’t bring my father back, it won’t make you understand my decision…” He looked down. It was strange to talk like that. “I’m not brutal. I understand you don’t like to see me like that. What I can say is that it was one moment, one moment when I had to make a decision, and it was the only solution I found.”
She stared at him, her eyes wide. “It felt like it was another person, River.”
“I told you it was. I was trying to be something I’m not.” He bit his lip. “Not trying. I obviously managed it.”
There was still suspicion in her eyes, as she looked at him, as if searching for a hint, an answer. “Something… Something happened, River. You were going to the library, remember? Did you even get there?”
He paused. It was true. He’d been thinking about researching the death grass… and yet, he must have forgotten about it.
“I… I remember going to my room. I had that idea, that I was going to be the son my father wanted.” He frowned, thinking, trying to recall that moment. “I didn’t research anything. I don’t think I even went to the library.”
Naia’s dark eyes were on him. “You left your sister’s room saying you were going to research death grass. What changed? How?”
River took a deep breath. His memory of that time was a little fuzzy. Perhaps the truth was that he was also in shock for what he’d done. He couldn’t blame Naia for feeling that way. Still. What had happened? He knew. “I had the idea. I think I was worried about talking to my father, then I had this idea and everything got clear.”
She nodded. “I know he was horrible, but you said you could have waited and woken him up later. You didn’t even do that.”
“The prince my father wants—” He looked down for a moment. “—wanted—doesn’t wait for anybody, Naia. I… I guess I thought it would solve my issues with him, but it didn’t. Maybe I made a mistake. That said, it’s true he has threatened you, so he got what he deserved, and I don’t feel sorry.”
The only sad part was that his father would never see who River would become, that he would never have to apologize for all he had done. Those were still disturbing thoughts.
The suspicion didn’t fade from Naia’s eyes, but she said, “I guess you did what you had to do.”
“To protect you. Make no mistake, Naia. I will do anything to protect you.”
She snorted. “Maybe I should be glad you didn’t force me to sleep. Is that how it goes?”
Naia was still angry about that. He didn’t blame her. “I won’t do that again. And with my father, I had no choice. Now you’re looking at me like I’m a monster.”
“You’re not a monster, River.”
“Fine. A stranger, then.”
She tilted her head. “You know it’s true. You said it.”
He stepped close to her and took her hands. “I’m still myself. Now. I’m myself. The same person you’ve chosen.”
A lovely laugh escaped her lips. “Don’t we make foolish choices?” Still, her tone was playful, and she didn’t pull her hands.
He kissed her temple, then wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll make sure you never see anything like that again.”
Her head was resting on his shoulder. “I’d rather know, River.”
“We’ll talk, and you’ll know what’s happening, and we’ll decide things together.”
She scoffed. “You’re so full of promises.”
“My promises have value. My word has value. I look back at this morning and don’t appreciate what I did either, Naia, so perhaps we agree on that.”
“Then couldn’t you have found a different solution?”
He ran his hands through her magnificent, thick black hair. “Maybe. But at the time, I didn’t. It’s done now. And I have to say that it has many positives. We can’t fight ourselves, Ironhold, and then the strange voice. It’s too much. If we are united, we have a chance. It’s not that big to start with, but it will be none if we’re fighting each other.” He’d meant the humans and Ancients, but it was also true for him and Naia, and he hoped she’d realize that.
