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“We don’t use that word. Marriage is a contract between two people who might not even like each other. A life companion… It’s a choice.”
“I never made that choice.”
“You were still thinking, I know that. And yet, the moment you chose to leave the Frostlake castle with me, the moment you chose to stay with me instead of going home with your father, you were making a choice.”
“Don’t we have to consummate the union for it to be valid?” At least now she knew what that entailed.
“No. What we do or don’t do in bed is nobody’s business. But I know that the Ancient law doesn’t count for you. I know that. It’s just… so you understand.”
Naia took a deep breath. She almost asked if there was a way to break this life companion thing, but didn’t want to hurt or upset him. At the same time, she wasn’t sure about anything, she wasn’t sure how she would feel if he touched her with those hands that had been covered in blood hours before. “I was scared today. And horrified. I don’t think I know who you are.”
He blinked slowly. “I trust your judgment. I can go to the magical prison. I’d hate to leave you alone, I’d hate to—”
She didn’t want to lock him somewhere, away from her. “It would be horrible. And someone—like your brother, for example—could try to kill you. We have too much to do. Too much to plan. I haven’t even opened the Ancient City. You do realize that, don’t you?”
He raised two fingers in the air, with those sharp dark nails. “The city can last two months. Let’s wait and see what happens in the next few days. I think we will need to join forces and fight Ironhold. I think we’ll have to do much more than just open a faery ring to bring goods to the Ancient City.”
They could work together with the Ancients, with River in control of them, but this idea had many issues. “I bet the Ironhold king is dying to accuse Umbraar of working with the white fae. They might be spreading the rumors already.”
“In which case, why fear a retaliation that’s coming nonetheless?”
Naia shrugged. “I don’t want to make it easy for them. And you, you need to take care of your city, don’t you?”
“Anelise is doing the work for now.”
“Why not appoint her queen?”
He ran his hand through his hair. “Because then she could abdicate and let Forest take the throne, she could order them to imprison me for investigation… tons of possibilities.”
“It seems you really thought this through…”
He got up and ran his hand on the edge of the table, making a line where he removed the dust. “I didn’t, and I think it’s dreadful, Naia, but I also don’t think I had a choice.” He turned to her, then looked around. “What’s this place?’
“I used to come here with my brother. We’re near the Royal Fort, but not that near that walking is safe.”
“A house is even less safe.”
That made sense. It could be a resting spot for rogues, thieves, or soldiers. “I didn’t come here on purpose. And we’re not close enough to the fort to draw much attention.”
“Still. I’m going to glamour this house, just so that strangers don’t notice it. Give me a minute.”
He walked outside. Naia almost said that she would rather return to the fort, but she let him do the glamour, as it gave her a moment to think.
Something inside her hurt seeing him. He looked so familiar, so hers, and yet, the side of him she’d seen was none of that. It was a monstrous stranger, one that scared her, one that she didn’t know if she could love. And yet they werelife companions, whatever that meant. She wanted him to hold her close, and yet, couldn’t quite forget the blood in those hands, the callousness with which he had killed his own father. And now she didn’t know what to do.
20
Reconnecting
River stepped into the woods surrounding the little cabin, while Naia remained inside, looking at him, her face serious. A small, isolated house, with just the two of them, should give them a moment of peace, an opportunity for reconciliation. It was like their house in the clearing by the Ancient City, that little pocket of space just for them. He just had to make sure strangers didn’t see them, that people who passed by felt compelled to walk away. It was complicated, old magic, but something that could be useful in a case like this. And yet, as much as he protected the house, this would never be their sanctuary. Naia’s face when he first found her here still distressed him. Fear. She’d been afraid of him, as if he were a stranger.
In a way, she had been right. He hadn’t acted like himself. The blood on his hands would never wash away, the horror of seeing the life fleeing from his father would never leave his mind. And yet, that had been the son King Spring had always wanted; ruthless, putting duty ahead of feelings, ignoring any sense of mercy. River hated him. Could he blame Naia for hating him as well? He looked back at the house. She was no longer by the window, probably still upset. Would she be able to forgive him? Maybe. But would she be able to forget? Or would she think he could turn into a stranger at any point in time, that he could become unrecognizable? He didn’t know the answer.
But then, what was the alternative? Let King Spring rule and make things difficult for the Ancients? Let him threaten Naia?
And yet, it hurt to see her pretty dark eyes staring at him with suspicion. Perhaps if he explained, if he told her how he felt, perhaps she’d understand. Understand what? That sometimes he acted like someone he was not? That sometimes he lost control? He could remember clearly how he had gone to his room, how he had been determined, with this newfound confidence, when he decided to become the prince his father wanted.
River circled the house twice and then figured it was glamoured enough. It wouldn’t hide it from someone who knew this place, but the danger was assassins or soldiers from Ironhold or other kingdoms.
