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She took a deep breath. “I know that rulers sometimes have to make harsh decisions, I know that. I know that one life, or half a dozen lives, doesn’t compare to all the lives at stake in a kingdom. I understand that.” She moved her head away from his chest and faced him. “It was just that you didn’t seem to be yourself, and it was terrifying. Perhaps I was afraid of losing you. Perhaps I’m still here, wondering if it’s still you, or if my River is gone.”
“I’m here, Naia. It’s me. The same me you saved at the Dragon’s Lair, a long time ago. Now that, according to you, wasn’t really you, and I’m not here complaining.” He smirked.
Naia chuckled. “Have you found an explanation for that?”
The world was full of magic he didn’t understand, and that was just one example. He took one of her hands and pulled it to his chest. “Our connection transcends time.”
“Pretty words. And what do they mean?”
“I don’t know, but the more I get to know you, the more I’m sure it was you. Now, if you thinkthisis not me, you should imprison me.”
There was less suspicion in her beautiful eyes. “You remember everything, right? Do you remember making those choices?”
“It wasn’t as if I spent a long time debating. Choice might not be the right word, more like a reflex—but it was me, yes. As brutal and horrifying as it was, I remember killing my father. At the time, I thought it was the right thing. I…” The memory felt strange, even to him. “I still think at that point I had no other option.”
Naia sighed. “Well, it’s true that it might be better for your people.” It felt as if she was trying to convince herself. She then looked at him. “We need to plan, River. Plan what to do with Ironhold, that queen, that voice. We need to figure out what they want with you, what kind of herb they used. It’s too much.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I know. What if we just stayed here? If we just forgot about everything everywhere?” It was a joke, but he was also exhausted and unsure of what to do.
“Neither of us can, and you know that.”
His arms wrapped tighter around her. “I could… for a time. I watched friends, even family dying, and did nothing. Nothing. It’s true I didn’t want to become a mindmelder, but I could have done something.”
She raised her head to look at his face. “Didn’t you go to Fernick to steal a staff? That doesn’t strike me as nothing, River.”
“I know… It’s just… A lot of what I had been planning hinged on getting King Harold’s trust, on having them building castles made of cards, and yet, they were making other castles all along. Even the carefully crafted illusions might not have mattered that much, not when they can reawaken the dead. It’s as if… as if gaining power was a front.”
Naia broke the hug and stared at him. “What if it is? What if the queen’s plan has nothing to do with Ironhold’s plans?”
River paused. “Possible, very possible. The queen was anything but devoted to her husband. But perhaps she needs them to be strong.”
“But we know it’s her.”
He smiled. “See, my information was useful.”
Naia reached out a hand and caressed his face. “Of course it was, but I hated to see you almost dying. Now, hear me out: Ironhold, that’s something we can deal with later, we can use politics, we can try to defeat them in ways I understand, in ways even you understand. Now, the queen and that voice, that’s what we need to get rid of as soon as possible. We need to get rid of that freaky magic. That’s what we need to focus on.” Her eyes were bright, filled with hope. “If I have to let them declare the Ironhold Empire, so be it. That’s not the biggest problem. We need to focus on the worst enemy first.”
He took a deep breath. “I can still enter the Iron Citadel.”
“No!” There was horror and even anger on her face.
“Listen to me. I could follow the queen—”
“River! How well did it work last time?”
He had his hands on her shoulders and was careful not to squeeze them. “Just listen. What if I figure out what’s in that death grass? That was the only reason she defeated me, Naia. Then I can go there and find out what’s going on.”
“What about the whole thing about you beingthe key?”
“I escaped. I escaped, Naia. As long as I don’t get caught again, I’m not going to be anyone’s key.”
“And that’s why you shouldn’t get anywhere near the Iron Citadel.” There was fear in those pretty dark eyes. So much fear, so much worry, so much…
He exhaled, relieved that at least one ofhisfears was false. “You don’t want me to get hurt.”
She frowned. “Did you hit your head? Of course I don’t want you to get hurt. Why are you saying this nonsense?”
Because I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I feared you’d never be able to love me again.He couldn’t come to voice any of those fears, as they sounded silly and ridiculous even in his head. Now. They had seemed true a few minutes before. River pulled Naia and kissed her.
