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Fuck, I was thirty-three. Well, thirty-four now. And I couldn’t make sense of what had happened. I couldn’t imagine being four like Maddox, or eight like Savannah, and trying to understand.
“What’s that?” Savannah asked, perking up.
Thinking fast, I said, “I’d love to try some donuts from Hole in One.” It was a new donut shop in town that boasted donuts made from scratch and mini golf. I hadn’t been, but the kids had been begging me to try it ever since their friend River had gone.
Maddox frowned. “Daddy hates donuts.”
I did, or at least that was the story I told them. Mostly because I had zero self-control when it came to sweets. It was bad enough that one of my best friends was a world-famous pastry chef who loved using us as guinea pigs for new flavors. I didn’t need the added temptation of a weekly trip to a gourmet donut shop.
Besides, since Tessa’s death, I’d put a stop to all that. Sweets didn’t taste good anymore anyway. And if I was Savannah and Maddox’s only parent, I was determined to take better care of myself.
If something ever happened to me, I knew Maddox and Savannah would always be taken care of financially. Tessa and I had seen to that years ago. When I’d sold my first company and made millions, we’d put the remainder of the money into trusts for the kids that were untouchable. At least until they were older.
But as far as who I trusted to be their guardian, to raise them, well…it was something I preferred not to contemplate. Though after Tessa’s unexpected death, I’d had to consider it more seriously.
My in-laws were a piece of work. My parents were loving and nurturing, and they helped out a ton when they could. But they lived forty-five minutes away, and they were busy taking care of their horses and their land. My siblings lived on the opposite side of the country. And Tessa’s sister was still in college. I didn’t think Ellie would want to be saddled with two young kids, even though she adored Maddox and Savannah.
“Yeah.” Savannah nodded. “I thought we weren’t supposed to eat donuts because they’ll fog our arteries.”
I chuckled despite myself. “Clog, not fog, honey.” I ruffled her hair. “Today’s a special occasion. I think we can have some donuts.”
They glanced at each other as if afraid to get their hopes up. As if my body had been inhabited by aliens or something. Had I really becomethatdad? The controlling, depressing dad, who never smiled, never had fun, never allowed donuts?
Rex barked, pulling my attention from my thoughts. He was darting around, trying to stuff his nose beneath the couch. I frowned and hooked my thumb over my shoulder. “What’s up with Rex?”
Savannah shrugged, but then Maddox’s eyes went wide. “Oh no! Hedgie!” he whispered.
“Hedgie what?” I asked, scared to know the answer.
Savannah raced over to the cage where the newest member of our family, Hedgie the hedgehog, resided. At least, where Hedgie was supposed to reside. Savannah stilled, and I could sense the panic rolling off her from across the room.
The moment of calm was brief. And then she exploded, her face turning red before she started yelling. “Maddox, I told you not to open the door to the cage!”
“But I feel bad for him.” Maddox pouted. “He’s trapped in there.”
“It’s better than being eaten by Rex! Hedgie’s not safe out here.” Savannah started tossing pillows aside, ducking her head beneath the furniture as she searched high and low for the missing hedgehog. “And neither is Rex.”
I sighed and stood. She was right.
“Rex,” I called. His ears perked up, and then he ran off in a blur of gray-and-white fur. “Rex. Come back here!”
Maddox’s and Savannah’s voices echoed off the walls as I chased our mischievous husky up the stairs. I scrambled over some dirty laundry and then cursed when I stepped on a small plastic truck. I grimaced and reminded myself that it could be worse. Icould’vestepped on Hedgie.
Fuck.
What had I been thinking? I dragged a hand through my hair. A pet hedgehog?
“Rex!” I yelled again, hoping I found our dog before he found Hedgie.
I peeked in the guest room, but there was no sign of either of them. Rex was way too quiet. And while Bennett—one of my best friends and the local veterinarian—had assured me the two animals could get along, he’d been adamant about keeping a close eye on them. Especially now, while they were still getting acclimated to this new living situation.
The yelling downstairs turned to crying—Maddox wailing. But I huffed and continued on. I wanted to comfort my children, but first, I needed to find the stupid hedgehog.
Out of the corner of my eye, movement caught my attention. My eyes went wide as I realized that Hedgie was headed for an opening between the spindles of the staircase. Rex, of course, bounded out of my bedroom at that moment, tongue lolling. Hedgie curled up into a spiky ball that I feared would tip over the edge and not survive the landing.
“Rex,” I said in a low, authoritative voice, angling my body to keep him away from Hedgie. “Sit.”
Reluctantly, he did so.
