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When she notices my hesitation, she pushes herself away from the edge of her desk, the wheels of her chair swiveling to face me. “I’m listening.”
“Remember that girl?” I start. “The one that the paps got a picture of me with?”
“You mean the one that got you into all that trouble?” One of her brows is raised with suspicion, already protective and skeptical.
“To be fair, it wasn’t her fault,” I say in Ellie’s defense. Knowing that I was the one that had put Ellie in the position where she appeared to be the center of fault in the first place brings on an onslaught of guilt. None of it was her fault. It wasn’t mine either. I understand that now. Believing it was my fault was what caused me to push Ellie away. I know now that what happened simply happened because of who I am, and our relationship paid the price for it.
“Okay. I’m assuming you wanted to talk to me because of something to do with this girl?”
“Ellie. Her name is Ellie.”
Her hands come together on her desk, and she leans forward as her expression softens. I don’t correct her to be rude. I do it to let her know that Ellie isn’t just “some girl.” She’s someone so much more important than that.
“I know I don’t really post anything on my social media accounts, and your team mainly manages it for promotional stuff, but I wanted to post something. Something to let the world know how I feel about her.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “That’s a big deal.”
“I know,” I answer, my voice low and solemn. “She’s a big deal.”
“Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, the press didn’t really have a positive reaction to her. And your fans might not be too happy about her coming back into the limelight.”
“That’s exactly why,” I say. “My fans, of all people, need to know that she’s someone important to me. And I think it’s important that they hear it from me, not through some shady pictures on the internet.”
“Okay,” she answers, tapping her index finger on the glass surface. “Why don’t you come up with something, and we can proofread it. Make sure it sends the right message.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
“But just so you know, once you post this, there’s really no going back. You have to make sure that this girl is worth it. Your time, your dedication. People are going to expect this girl—Ellie, to stick around.”
“That’s the plan.”
She smiles at me. A sweet, genuine smile. This lovestruck movie star that sits in front of her has found someone that’s worth letting the world know, and she’s admittedly happy for me.
“She makes you happy?”
“She does. But I don’t know if I have what it takes to make her happy.” I look down, uncertainty written all over my face. Ellie means so much to me, and I’m scared to lose her completely. What if no matter what I do, it’s never enough to win her back? What if she decides that giving us another chance isn’t worth the heartache?
“Why are you doing this? Shouting to the world that she’s yours?”
“She needs to know how I feel. She needs to know that I’m serious about us.”
“Why?” Shana asks, truly curious.
“I messed up. When the paps showed up, I saw what they did to her, and I got scared. I basically told her that I had my fun with her and I was bored. And that I had moved on to dating Bella.”
She grimaces at the mention of Bella. “So you made her believe that you just used her, like some typical celebrity prick adding another notch on his bedpost.”
I nod.
“You know that’s not who you are?” Shana asks me.
“It sure feels like I am,” I huff. I feel so ambivalent. I never meant to hurt Ellie. Or anyone, for that matter. But at the same time, Ididhurt her. I made sure she felt used even though that was the furthest thing from the truth.
“Rhylan, do what you need to do to make things right with Ellie. Whatever amends you have to make for her to realize that you care about her, do it. I’m here to support you. I’m just here to make sure you look good doing it.” She winks at me.
FORTY-EIGHT
RHYLAN
