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* * *
The following day, I’m discharged from the hospital, and we book into a hotel overlooking the Demerara River and the Atlantic Ocean while I recuperate, and we wait for the remaining blood results.
Sweeping the curtain aside, I take a moment to enjoy the view and inhale a deep, cleansing breath of fresh ocean air.
The seaside city reminds me of home.
I close my eyes with the ache in my chest of missing my family and friends.
I glance over my shoulder to where Samuel had placed my phone on the table to call them, only I don’t have the strength to speak to anyone without my voice cracking. Especially if they ask how I am because I’m too weak to fake a strong voice, and they’ll see straight through me.
I lift the hem of my long blue dress that Samuel bought for me at the nearby Stabroek Market. He purchased new T-shirts for himself and some loose dresses that flare for me, bright-colored Boho dresses with beautiful patterns to lift my spirit.
It worked.
I’m still weak but don’t want to be cooped up in a room after four long days in a hospital bed, especially after my dream. I cup my stomach and whisper, “We both need sunshine.”
Taking a seat on the balcony, I inhale the fresh ocean air and gaze down to the sparkling blue hotel pool where Samuel swims lap after lap.
My gaze moves back to the beach. “You’re going to love the beach,” I tell my daughter. The beach is one of my most favorite places in the world. The ocean is the place I’ve missed the most, knowing the warm months in Adelaide are when my friends are having fun.
God, I can almost feel the sand between my toes.
The door behind me creaks. I turn to Samuel entering our room with a towel draped around his waist.
Good God.
I see his bare chest every day, but today, droplets glisten on his golden shoulders where light streams through the window highlighting his sculpted physique.
We meet in the center of the room.
“You look…”
“I’ve washed and dried my hair.” I grin at him, knowing he doesn’t understand how one small thing can do wonders for my morale.
“That’s not it. Your cheeks are flushed.”
“It’s the effect you have on me.” I take his face in my hands and taste the pool water on his lips. I taste more until our tongues collide with love and silent apology. “I need you,” I say against his lips with an overwhelming desire to be adored by the one person who can destroy me and put me back together all by his love.
“Eden…” He pulls away and shakes his head.
“I need to feel again,” I plead. Love will heal me quicker than any drug. “We haven’t been intimate for a long time. Let’s not waste another day where we don’t put a comfortable bed to good use.”
He lifts and carries me to the mattress. “Give me a moment.”
It’s the quickest shower for I’ve barely stripped my clothes before he’s back, hair dripping and body glistening with moisture. His lips meet mine in gentle kisses, bathing my skin from my neck to my shoulders and then to my lips. He hovers over me with far too much space between our bodies. Every minute, he slowly eases closer as though not trusting himself not to break me.
My vagina works just fine, I want to tell him even though slow and gentle is all I can cope with right now. He’s not only worried about the parts of my anatomy, it’s the bruises to my heart, my soul, and the hurt deep in my mind where the demons hide.
If only he was aware how his lips are like heaven, and every touch has me floating on the clouds above as he breathes new life into my bones. His love awakens me and makes me truly feel alive.
* * *
The afternoon sun beats down on my bare shoulders as I take tender steps toward the ocean. Samuel has a tight hold on my hand as though he’s ready if I stumble.
Small steps.
Deep breaths.
