Page 35 of Hopelessly Wild


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“Let’s just sit,” I say. He assists me to lower until my rear lands in the sand. “It’s beautiful in Adelaide at this time of year. I can’t wait for you to visit then.” I’m aware it won’t be this year. “A hot, dry Christmas by the beach.” I smile, hoping he can imagine our future like I do. “Dad has a spread of seafood, although Mum still likes to have some roast meats and vegetables. There are too many choices considering Faith and Jake don’t stay for dinner. They share themselves between families and go to his parents for the evening.”

“It’s how I imagined you spending your Christmas with your family.” His tone is off, and I know what he’s about to say.

“By coming here, I chose not to have Christmas with my family,” I say firmly. “I wanted to be with you and then leave before the airlines refuse my travel.”

Samuel stares at the ocean. “Everything is different now. Christmas is a month away, and you’re thirty weeks pregnant. We need to talk about what’s best for you and the baby, not what is best for us.”

“What about us?” I wait for him to look at me. “I need to know we have a future together and where that will be. Our baby will have grandparents in two different countries.” His gaze drifts back to the ocean the moment I mention his parents. “We need to talk about many things,” I whisper. “It’s time you level up and be honest not only with me but to yourself.”

He stands, brushes the sand from his rear, and offers me a hand. “Let’s start by you making some phone calls home. I’m sure everyone is worried about you.”

“I’ll make the phone calls if you promise to talk later.” I don’t give him my hand until he nods. When I’m upright, I kiss him on the cheek. “We promised each otherno secrets,” I remind him. “Some of your painful memories might be before my time, but we can’t move forward unless you share them with me.”

* * *

While drinking a glass of ice water, I make my way through the long list of text messages from my family and friends. Most are updating me with their lives with ‘stay safe’ at the end of the message.

I start with the easiest call to build the strength to speak to the others. I sigh in relief when Bree’s phone switches to voice mail. I expected it, considering the long hours she works.

“Hey, Bree. Hope you’re shaking it up in Sydney’s most prestigious hospital. I know you’re doing great and just wanted to leave a message to let you know that I’m okay. Love you and can’t wait to kiss ya face.”

The screen goes blank, and I wait a moment before calling Yasmine. Again, it goes to voicemail.

“Yas, it’s Eden. Just wanted to check in and let you know I’m okay.” My throat turns dry, thinking back to only a few days ago. A ghost of the woman she knows. “I’m so jealous thinking about you all partying at night at The Bay and hanging out at the beach on weekends. And I can’t wait to hear about your new job. Love you, babe.”

I sink onto the bed and hug the pillow before I call Amy.Hey, remember when…is how she starts each message. I do, Amy. I remember all the fun times we had together.

“Finally,” she says on the other end.

I smile as though we’re in Adelaide, and she’s been nagging me to come out on a Saturday night with her. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

“Is everything okay? With you, the baby, and how’s Samuel?”

“We’re g-good.” I swallow a few mouthfuls of water. “I had an ultrasound. Do you want to know what I’m having?”

“Fuck, yeah,” she yells, and my shoulders relax.

My cracked lips stretch into a big smile, only it hurts, so I try not to smile so hard. “A girl.”

“I knew it!”

We both laugh. “You’d say that if I said it’s a boy.”

Amy chuckles. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

“Same.” I close my eyes and imagine us in the same room together. If we were, Amy would see right through me. “I hear Yasmine has a new job.”

“She does, and she’s been working weekends, so we haven’t caught up in weeks. Trust me, you haven’t missed out on much here. It’s been bloody cold.”

“Serious?”

“It’s shit and not at all spring weather. I want to come back to South America. I don’t suppose you’re allowed another visitor?”

The reality of where I am hits me. “Amy, I told you it’s complicated—” A sob escapes, and I cough to cover the sound.

“What’s going on, Edes?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” I blurt.

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