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The famous MJ Decker can own me for just one night.
I’ll allow myself to forget everything that’s wrong with my life.
Let him take you the way you like.
His gaze narrows. “Are you okay?” Matthew rises from the stool, wariness in his expression. His lips are slightly parted, and I can’t stop it.
Please, take me.
The part of my brain that still works is begging me to walk away, but I can’t. I’m too drunk on desire to stop it. This is a train about to collide against a wall and there’s nothing I can do.
Stop it, idiot.
I can’t.
This is indeed a car collision. Nothing and no one can avoid it. Even as I’m aware that the car in front of me has come to a stop, my foot can’t reach the brake pedal in time to evade it. Yes, I’m going to crash and burn, but I hope I enjoy it during my trip to hell.
“Tristan?” His gaze carries worry and confusion, and he lowers his head a few inches.
My body heats up as his lips come closer, my head moves forward, and my lips slam against his. My hands reach his neck, and I tug him closer to me.
The voices in my head scream for me to stop, but I don’t.
I can’t.
Our tongues fuse. His hands glide along my body. Our hard cocks rub against each other. I close my eyes, letting myself feel and forget what’s wrong with what I’m about to do.
Yes.
Yes, Matthew, take me.
“Stop.” He pushes me away.
My shallow breathing stops me from talking. I want to beg him to do it, take me, take away the pain in my soul.
“You’re drunk. I can’t do this to you,” he says, his forehead resting on top of mine. “Tomorrow, you’ll regret everything we did, from this kiss to whatever happens after.”
I open my eyes, encountering his blue eyes filled with lust but also sadness. They remind me of Thea. Maybe it’s pity I see.
My balls ache, and so does my hard dick. Matthew doesn’t understand that I need him tonight. He can make me feel better than I’ve felt in a long time. I just know it. I need the liquid courage I ingested, but I need Matthew more. He doesn’t understand how much.
“Fuck, I can’t believe I’m going to say this.” He steps backward and rakes his fingers through the long strands of his blond hair. “Sober up. If we ever do anything, you’ll have to be stone-cold sober.”
Matthew spins around and leaves without another word. I shove my hands inside my pockets and that fucking rock pokes my knuckles. I retrieve it and see it up close for the first time. It’s an insignificant crystal, a purple rock.
“I am alone,” I scream at the beautiful bartender, wishing she could hear me, see me from where I stand. But she’s back at that seedy bar where I met her, and I’m alone. I throw the crystal against the wall, and it bounces back, landing at my feet.
One night. I only wanted one night to forget everything.
Or was it to remember who I deny myself to be?
ChapterNine
Matthew
The early morningfoggy mist drizzles my bare forearms. It’s not every day I go for a run before six in the morning. But what else can I do with my time?
Tossing and turning didn’t work during the night. Ideally, I could’ve taken Tristan’s offer and fucked him. Fortunately for him, I’m not an asshole who takes advantage of other people’s weaknesses. Unfortunately for me, I was raised to be a gentleman.
