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“Yoga?” she suggests.
I shake my head.
“Matt wants to hit the gym before that,” Thea says, almost as an afterthought.
“He isn’t with us,” I remind her.
Thea lifts the free earbud. “Yes, he is, and he says… nope, I’m not telling him that, Matthew.” She laughs, rolling her eyes. “Really, a three-way call? Maybe someday, Matt. Yes, I promise that one day I might go with you to Cali and run along the beach in the early morning or under the moonlight.”
“You can run and talk?” I question, impressed with her abilities.
“Nope, we’ve just been running together.” She shrugs. “In silence. Matt, I’ll call you later if we hit the gym. Yes, miss you too.”
Thea turns her jog into a fast-paced walk and finally just walks. I follow and come to a stop the moment she does.
When she turns her face to me, I detect anger. “You can’t bottle everything within yourself, Tristan. Yesterday I heard you, loud and clear. They tortured you and made you believe that what’s inside you is wrong. That who you are is an aberration.”
She takes a step closer. Her hand traces my jaw, then she stretches her neck and kisses my lips. “Who you are is different from what they told you. If you gave yourself a chance and get to know the guy I see, you’ll believe in yourself. You’re more than an entrepreneur, Tristan. I’m not saying that we should follow Matt. No, I’m suggesting that you let yourself be happy. Break the chains, free yourself.”
“I’m not alone?”
She slightly nods and then her beautiful smile is on her face. I take her inside my arms. “Thea, my biggest fear is losing you, not being close to you.”
“One breath at a time, one beat at a time, and maybe someday we’ll find what works for each,” she murmurs, snuggling herself closer to me. “Neither one of us has a destiny, but our paths crossed. This is unlike me, but I suggest we make the best of it. Dream, love, and believe in a future.”
“You sound so sure,” I whisper in her ear, kissing her neck.
“No, but I can’t continue hiding from the world. It’s time to come out. I trust that you and Matt will be by my side if I need someone to lean on.”
“Always,” I say, deciding that if this brave woman can take a stand and search for something else, so can I. Therapists, long talks, whatever is necessary, bring them on.
ChapterFifty
Thea
“What are you wearing?”Matt’s baritone voice asks.
I chuckle and then look down at the ugly Silver Moon polo shirt. That’s the way I roll at night while working.
“Why are you rolling those pretty violets at me, Butterfly?”
I place the phone between my ear and my shoulder and pick up a box of Coronas to take to the bar. “I’m not, Matthew Decker.”
“You always do when I say something that makes you blush or that you find semi-irritating but funny.” His voice makes my day but knowing that he knows those silly details about me makes me swoon.
My mind and my heart are battling daily. Each second is reason versus feelings, right versus wrong, logic versus irrational. Love them versus running away.
After two weeks, I’m used to waking up searching for my black caffeinated poison and their voices to start my day.
Tristan arrives at my front door daily, offering coffee before our morning run. We come back to my place to practice yoga. He leaves right after, and we don’t see each other until night. Matt calls me when he starts his day, usually around ten in the morning, and finishes my night… with a good night three-way call. I fall asleep listening to their voices.
How am I supposed to consider the cons when they are the constant of my days?
“Give me a sec, Matt. I have to maneuver something, and the phone might drop.” The process goes without a glitch. I place the box on the counter and head back for more. “We’re good, Matt.”
“Have you missed me enough yet, Butterfly?”
Yes, so much that I want to get on a plane and head to Vancouver right now.
