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I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never wanted any man to be a permanent fixture in my life. I don’t want to fall into the trap of relying on one, and I certainly don’t want anyone to rely on me for anything.
But if that is true, then why am I yearning for something more?
For something that terrifies me as much as it exhilarates me?
* * *
“Jesus,” I mutter a few seconds after we’ve turned off the main road in favour of a secluded track that eventually reveals a huge manor house.
The sun is setting behind the Victorian building. Well, honestly, castle would be a better description of the place. It’s like something I’m more likely to see while I’m quickly skipping past an episode ofAntiques Roadshowthan in real life.
It has turrets and pillars and everything.
“What is this place?” I ask, my nose practically pressed against the glass of the blacked-out window before me.
“No idea. It’s beautiful, though,” Jodie muses.
“Look, they have a wedding on,” Calli points out.
Both Jodie and I turn toward her side of the car just in time to catch a bride and groom disappearing through the trees that line the grounds, a photographer hot on their tails.
“Her dress is stunning,” Jodie breathes as the long lace train disappears.
“I bet those photographs will be incredible.”
“That’ll be you soon,” Jodie says to Calli, who laughs.
“I’m in no rush,” she says softly.
“What you’ve got growing in your belly says otherwise,” Jodie teases.
“I’ve got everything I could possibly want right now.” A sad smile curls Calli’s lips. While she might be telling the truth, I know her pain from losing her parents is still raw. Just like her brother. “Plus, I don’t want to be a beached whale in a white dress.”
“Firstly, that’s not possible. You’ll be beautiful no matter how big you get. And secondly, nothing could ever put Daemon off making you his permanently.”
“I am his permanently,” she argues. “We don’t need a certificate and rings to prove it.”
“You make it sound so easy.” I don’t realise the words actually leave my lips until they both turn to me.
“I thought you of all people would be aware that it’s been anything but easy, Bri,” Calli says. “It’s been all kinds of painful and traumatic getting to where we are now. And something tells me that we’ve got more coming our way.”
“No, don’t say that,” Jodie says sadly. “This is all going to work out. The guys are going to put an end to all this and we can move on.”
“I have every confidence they will, yes. But then what? This might be the end of the war with the Italians, but what comes next? This kind of thing will always be our lives. We’re always going to be waiting for the next war, the next loss, the hit.”
“Christ. Maybe I should run while I have the chance,” I say.
“You should,” Jodie agrees, shocking the shit out of me. “But you won’t. This is where you belong and you know it.”
“With you, yes.”
She chuckles and shakes her head. “Not just me, Bri. All of us. Remember when you were a kid and you used to fall asleep at night wishing for a family?”
I frown, hating her bringing up that depressing shit when we’ve got enough on our plates right now.
I sense Calli lean forward to look at me as I stare out of the window beside me once more. The right side of my face burns with her attention, her curiosity, but I refuse to turn and look into her eyes.
“This is it, Bri. It might not be what that little girl thought a family was all those years ago, but it’s one all the same.”
