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“I wouldn’t understand it,” said Chris. “And the point is that neither do you. You don’t evenlikephysics.”
“I do like it,” I said, even though we both knew it was a lie.
There was an awkward silence. I realised that the whole room was quiet and turned to see the rest of the team had left.
Chris’ voice was quiet. He was about as serious as I’d ever seen him. Chris was usually all smiles and easy-going chat, so having him look me in the eye and talk like this meant he was deadly serious.
“How long are you going to keep torturing yourself like this?”
“It’s not torture!”
It was. It was torture, to be so near to Waggoner and be so aware that I could never have him.
“It’s not going to happen, is it, Liam?”
“It might,” I said, before I could think about it with my brain instead of my ever-hopeful heart.
“Uh huh?”
He couldnothave sounded more disbelieving.
“He looked at me today,” I said, and even I heard the pathetic in that.
“Wow, actually looked at you?”
“Yeah.”
“And how long has it taken for him to do that?”
Too long was the answer. And I knew as well as the others did thatlooking atme was not exactly promising us a future together.
I refused to be put off, though.
“That’s not the point. The point is that I’m making progress.”
I got a pitying look and it was awful. If he’d mocked me like he usually did, I wouldn’t have felt as shit as I did right then.
Finally, Chris put his hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, look, I don’t mean to have a go, alright? We’ve been ribbing you about your crush all year and it was harmless but… it’s not so harmless now, Liam. This is really getting to you.”
He was right. Itwasgetting to me. The trouble was, I couldn’t see a way out of this situation. I couldn’t give my omega up. And I couldn’t magically become smart enough to make him notice me. I was stuck.
“Maybe you should quit his class,” Chris suggested. “Put some space between you.”
The idea made me feel cold. It was only going to his class that got me into the same room as Waggoner. If I didn’t go, I wouldn’t get to see him at all.
I got it, I really did. I was pathetic, crushing on a sophisticated professor who was way out of my league and not interested in me. If I’d been giving advice to someone else, I’d have said exactly the same thing as Chris.
But I wasn’t giving advice to someone else, I was giving it tome. And the idea of not seeing Waggoner again twisted my insides painfully. No, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t give him up. At least if I kept taking his class, I was in with a chance. Maybe I’d get to be friends with him or something?
Because friends sounded better than nothing.
Or maybe worse than nothing, I wasn’t sure.
I gave Chris what I hoped passed as a genuine smile. “Yeah, you could be right. I’ll think about that.”
“You’re not going to do it, are you?”
