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31
My Guilt
Friday morning, Dean had left to catch his flight, Rick getting to work. He wasn’t working long before there was a knock at his door though and he looked to see his sister’s car in the driveway.
He got up and went to answer it. “Hi,” Robin said. “Is it a bad time? I know you’re working, but I saw a car when I drove by to run some errands and now it’s gone, so I thought maybe you were off.”
“It’s not a bad time. I’ve got an hour before I need to be on a call.” And it wouldn’t hurt to talk to someone about last night with Gillian.
He could see it on her face before she left. She wasn’t happy he didn’t tell her everything about Dean. He could almost see the wheels turning in her mind that she’d confessed so much about Mike and he wasn’t as forthcoming.
“Did you have company?” Robin asked, taking her jacket off.
“I did. Remember my old partner, Dean?”
“I do,” Robin said, bending down to pet George. “I should have brought Harper with me, but it’s too cold to bring her out and she is home with Daddy right now.”
“Is Brian off?” he asked.
“Working from home this morning and then off the rest of the day. He’s had a long week. Dean?”
“He was in New York City on a job interview and texted to see if I was around for a visit. He drove up yesterday afternoon, stayed the night and caught a flight home from Albany this morning.”
“You don’t say much about him anymore,” Robin said. “I wasn’t sure if there was some bad history there or not.”
He sighed. “Just my guilt.”
“What happened? I thought everything turned out well in the end. You both got rich,” Robin said, laughing.
“I did. Him not so much. The short version is he pushed his limits with his time and his marriage. That’s on him, not me and I won’t take responsibility or feel guilty for that. But when he was offered the buyout, Colleen encouraged it. I did too. I’d had enough. I wanted to come home. He admitted that he was worried how he was going to do things if I left and in the end decided it was best.”
“Okay,” Robin said. “I’m not sure what the problem is then.”
“The minute the money was in the bank, Colleen filed for divorce and took half of his. He was pissed and I knew it. He was hurt. He kept his distance from me and I thought he blamed me.”
“He could have just been grieving over everything. When Alex did what he had to me, I shut everyone out too.”
“I see that now. He apologized for it. Said he learned his lesson. Joked about making sure he had a prenup in the future.”
“He said this in front of Gillian?” Robin asked. “All of it? What was her reaction?”
“The prenup part didn’t seem to bother her. It was the look on her face when she heard everything else. I never told her about my relationship with Dean. How things ended. Not with his marriage or the loss of our friendship.”
Robin frowned. “Why?”
“I didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe I was grieving too. I felt like though I had money in the bank it came at a price. My health. My best friend. Years of my life gone that I should have been focusing on settling down. Maybe I was embarrassed.”
“Then tell Gillian those things. I guarantee she will understand.”
He sighed. “You’re probably right. But I hurt her.”
“People in love are always hurting each other, Rick. That’s life. The good. The bad. And the ugly. It’s how you fix it that matters. What you learn from it.”
“Wow,” he said. “I guess I taught you well when it comes to giving advice.”
She walked over and hugged him. “You did. Let me know how it turns out, but something tells me everything is going to be fine.”
“I hope so,” he said.
