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I hear him open the door to leave. “And to answer your question, no, I didn’t fuck her. The thought didn’t even cross my mind. I didn’t consider it, not even for a split second.” I hear the door shut, leaving me alone again.
Fuck! I feel terrible for even asking him. He had no reason to lie to me. I jump to my feet, rushing after him, but he has disappeared. I hurry to the changing rooms.
“Ezra?” I call out, but there is no answer.
I don’t want to cause a scene. I sigh, feeling defeated I get my things from the locker. I find a free changing room to dry off and dress. Maybe he will be waiting in my room, but I don’t know what he’s going to do because he seems mad at me, and probably rightly so.
I wish he would understand my point of view. If the roles were reversed and I was the one in a relationship, he would hate it. He would be more jealous and angrier than I am.
I pull my wet hair into a messy bun. I will shower in my room rather than here. I slowly make my way back. I am nervous because Ezra is either going to be there waiting for me and upset, or he isn’t going to be there, which will hurt even more. It is a no-win situation. Whatever the outcome will be, it needs to be dealt with. My insecurities, the way he reacted to me, everything really.
I’m pacingin Alana’s hotel room, annoyed, frustrated, and a little mad, waiting for her to return. I am hurt she asked if I had sex with Bella. She is supposed to trust me. We are supposed to trust each other. Alana clearly doesn’t trust me as much as I thought, and that breaks my heart. A part of me wanted to walk straight out of the hotel, but I couldn’t, not after the week we have just spent together, the one which brought us closer. I am not going to let this one thing ruin everything, no matter how hurt I feel right now.
Abruptly I stop pacing, deciding to sit down on the bed before I make myself dizzy seems like a good idea. I sigh, running my fingers through my hair and down my face in frustration. The sound of the door unlocking grabs my attention. Diverting my attention to it, I wait for her to come in.
It opens, and Alana walks into the room. She doesn’t realize I am here. She rests against the door, sighing loudly.
“Alana,” I say, making her jump.
She flings herself around to face me, putting her hand over her heart and whimpers with a surprised look on her face. “Ezra, you are here.”
“Yes.”
Alana makes her way over to me, sitting next to me on the bed. She draws in a breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out.
“Ezra, I am sorry I asked if you had sex with Bella. You need to understand where I am coming from.” She goes to rest her hand on my knee, but I move away from her and stand up. The second I pull away, sadness pools in her eyes.
“No, I don’t, Alana. You are supposed to trust me, not accuse me. I promised nothing would happen, and I only want you. I thought we had overcome all these doubts, but obviously not.” My voice is calm because I don’t want to fight with her, but I need her to understand how hurt I am.
“Ezra, I did not say I didn’t trust you. It is Bella I don’t trust!” she insists, making eye contact with me.
“It is the same thing, Alana. You don’t trust her around me, which means you believe I would give in to her. What the hell do I need to do to prove I only want you?” I snap, not on purpose.
Alana jumps to her feet, “What if the roles were reversed, Ezra? How would you deal with knowing I was spending time with another man? How would you feel, uh?” she snaps back.
My fists clench at my side, and a tightness in my stomach develops even at the mere thought. “I would fucking kill him. Make sure he knew you were mine, no one else’s,” I snarl.
“Exactly! So don’t you dare stand there and tell me I don’t fucking trust you because if it were the other way around, you would be raging. Your behaviour would be worse than mine!” Alana says with a raised voice.
“The difference is, Alana, I wouldn’t even consider asking if you fucked him.” So much for not getting into a fight because this seems to be where it is leading.
Her breathing is erratic due to her temper rising and her face is flushed a becoming shade of red. “Yes, you fucking would! Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t.”
“No, I fucking wouldn’t! If you promised me something, I would believe you. I don’t understand what I have done to make you think I would cheat on you.” I try to steady my breathing and lower my tone.
Alana starts pacing the same way I was earlier, her hands all over the place as she starts to talk. “Cheat on me? How would it be cheating, Ezra? Currently, I am not your girlfriend. Bella is. I’m just your mistress!”
I groan, irritated, and pull at my hair. “Seriously? Do you still believe that is all you are to me? After everything that has happened between us, the week we spent together. I don’t know what the hell is going on in your head right now, Alana, but snap the fuck out of it. You know you mean more to me than that. You mean more to me than Bella does or ever has. So, stop trying to pick a fight and push me away, okay? Because it isn’t going to fucking work.”
“I am not trying to push you away, Ezra. It is the truth and will continue to be the truth until you break up with Bella. You have no right to be mad at me, not for speaking my mind and telling you how I feel.” She shakes her head and starts to walk away from me.
“Alana, don’t walk away from me!” I demand, reaching for her. I grab her arm, but not too hard, to stop her from going any further.
She turns around to face me. “Let go of me. I am not fighting with you.” She yanks her arm from my hold.
“Alana, you need to tell me what is going on with you. The change from yesterday until today shows me something is wrong with you,” I say gently, reaching for her hand. I hope my calmness will encourage her to talk to me.
She shakes her head frantically. “Nothing, okay, it doesn’t matter. Forget I said anything.”
