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“I’ve always liked your opinion sis.” Mason says and we both laugh.
After eating ice cream, we spend the day watching old movie favorites. Mason insists on going out to dinner though I’d rather order in but I finally agree when he lets me choose the place.
It’s dark and rainy as Mason drives us home. It’s worse than this morning, with the rain coming down sideways, lashing out in every direction.
All day Asher has been on the back of my mind. I keep replaying the kiss over and over, asking myself why I would do something so stupid, and then tell him it was a mistake. Like he believed me for a second. It was written all over his face that he didn’t.
And I never let him speak. Never gave him a chance to say what he’s been wanting to say.
Because I’m selfish and I can’t bear to hear him say he doesn’t feel the same way back. I’d just rather not know.
“Yoo hoo, earth to Mads!” Mason singsongs. “What's up?”
“Sorry, lost in thought. Nervous for my new classes.”
“You’ll do great, like you always do.”
“Mmm” I say without thought, my brain on a different planet. A question pops into my head and freezes on the tip of my tongue, sending a wild storm of butterflies through my stomach.
Just ask him. Maybe his feelings have changed? What have you got to lose?
“Mase, can I ask you something?”
“You know you can ask me anything.”
Just go for it. “I know you told me he’d always be off limits, but lately, Asher—”
“Asher? What about him?” Mason jumps in, immediately defensive in his body language and tone.
“I think I might like him. You know…as more than friends.”
The car swerves and Mason quickly corrects the wheel. “Shit.” He mutters under his breath.
“Whoa, be careful.” I grab the door handle.
“You don’t need to tell me how to drive.” Mason snaps. “Fuck, Mads, out of all the guys in the world, you have to set your sights on Asher?”
“I can’t help who I like, Mase! You like Sienna and we all give you a pass.”
“Hey, that isn’t cool. You don’t know her, not really. Not who she really is. That’s besides the point. I am one hundred percent against you dating Asher.”
“Why?” I raise my voice and cross my arms over my chest. “What is so bad about it?”
“I don’t want my sister with my best friend! Date anyone else! Just not him! He’s my friend!”
His words sting. And they aren’t true. “Asher’s my friend, too.” I whisper. I swallow past the thick emotion pooling in my throat.
“Look, Mads. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be mean. It’s just how I feel and it’s not going to change.”
“But you can’t even consider it? We’re almost adults now.”
“And what if something happens between you two? One of you breaks the other's heart? Then I’m stuck in the middle, having to choose sides, or it’s awkward between us. How will the three of us hang out when you two have a past?”
“Why do you have to go right to the negative? We might not hurt each other. We might actually fall in love and stay together. Consider the positives, too.”
“That’s not real life, and you know it, Mads. In real life, real shit happens. People grow apart, things change. But one thing that isn’t going to change is my relationship with you and my relationship with Asher. You two are the most important people to me and I won’t allow anything to jeopardize that.”
I sigh as Mason pulls up in front of my apartment. I just need to accept that something between Asher and I will never happen.
