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Crushing her arms over my neck she captured my mouth, sending her famished tongue to take supremacy over my own. Ravaging moans and purrs were finding their way to my ears, awakening my senses and making me want her that much more.
Her tongue was alluring me to open the gates of astonishing madness and set free every smothered dream and desire. ‘I want you,’ I needed to draw her into my spell, but most importantly, I needed to know if she was ready to join me there. ‘This night is so beautiful that I can’t even feel the cold. Let’s go to my room. I want to have you on the balcony.’
The answer I was waiting for came with such ease that I was beginning to think she was expecting me to make that proposal all along.
I couldn’t let a moment like that go to waste. After apologizing to the guys that I couldn’t keep them company anymore, I escorted Bea to a second room and onto the main lobby.
Everything should have been incredibly easy from there on. My fantasies would have found a way to fulfill themselves that night — if Brax hadn’t intervened, asking me to follow him into one of the empty rooms.
‘What are you doing, Ferris?’ He asked withthatcertain tone, letting me know that he was onto my plan.
‘I just told you that I’m tired... Bea is tired too... you get the drill.’ I was still trying to save the situation, although I knew I only had a small chance when it came to Brax.
‘I do get the drill, and I think you should sleep alone tonight.’ He knew me well enough to understand I was drifting back towards darkness again. But this time around it wasn’t his job to save me. I could save myself, even if in those moments I saw no point in it.
One thing became clear. Brax undoubtedly had feelings for her. There would be no chance in hell that he would ever stop me from fulfilling my desires otherwise.
Since he never asked anything of me, I couldn’t deny his request — demons or not. ‘Enjoy,’ I cast a bitter smile, letting him get the princess for the night. I would still have my chance, and the longer the wait, the more satisfaction the result would bring.
Okay, the night didn’t go exactly how I expected. It was a fucking disaster. I ended up on Brax’s watchlist and lost the chance of a thrilling adventure over the balcony. What else could go wrong except having dreams and hallucinations about every single fucking moment of my life since childhood?
One may think that having rich parents would involve boarding schools, private sitters, and awkward weekly family dinners.But not mine. My parents dedicated their lives to raising me. Despite the board meetings and charity events, I was always by their side observing their world. And that made their death that more difficult, to the point where the pain became unbearable. The days spent in the garden with my mother. The lessons of physics taught by my father. The good night kisses. The family trips. The Christmas Eves. The fucking everything coming back to haunt me...
I couldn’t be alone. Still, there I was, more lonesome than ever before.
I wasn’t feeling well — far from it. The weekend spent behind the four walls of my room made things much more difficult. I even tried taking my meds. They momentarily kept the memories from flooding in, but not that desperate sensation of wanting to feel alive.
I thought I was dying and only some extreme gesture could save me. I needed that adrenaline rush. That pump of the heart to fuel me up and bring me that excitement of living again.
I was in a semi-conscious state when Bea returned from her trip. Sure, I was present in the room in body, but not really there in spirit.
We had another of those emergency meetings regarding thegreat planwhere I felt closer to a vegetable than a human being. I was in the same room as them, looking into their eyes, though not really listening. It was like my mind couldn’t process that information, maybe just because I didn’t care anymore.
Cole didn’t join us. It was just Bea and Brax and despite the fact that I seemed to be acting in all the right ways, my mouth was on autopilot mode while my brain was processing something totally different. I still needed her, and I recognized that desire the second she walked into my mansion.
To make things even worse, it seemed Bea was set on going by herself into the governor’s house and she was asking me for backup. They needed my help with a few gadgets and software so she could get in and transfer some data from the governor’s computer. An easy task, especially since my dad had been a software engineer and I used to work with him in his lab all the time. The only thing was I haven’t stepped inside the lab ever since he was gone.
Foolish of me to ever think that I could do it without repercussions. The second I opened the door a younger version of me and my father were tapping away at an old computer. Then there we were again, working on a microscopic microphone, smaller than a drop of water. The fucking memories were there to haunt me.
Not many people knew, but my father’s intelligence saved our family fortune.We did have royal blood, but being unable to occupy his rightful function for so long left my granddad with more than a few debts. Fortunately, the company my parents built, saved everything and offered me the dream life any child could have wanted. That made things that much harder. He was my hero, saving everyone else, yet he couldn’t save himself.
I needed a fist full of pills to remain in the lab, but at least I managed to get the job done after locking myself there for several hours.
No rush though. Bea had been away to see Vanya and get herself a ticket straight into the governor’s house. That also came with a price — one that I have no problem paying. After all, I need to keep up with my part of the plan so that Bea could keep up with hers — be mine, whatever that even meant those days.
Another fucking meeting followed — this time, with Cole also present. I was almost done with the earpiece, a micro camera hidden in the earrings, and a pair of iPods that concealed a jack along with a USB cable so she could connect to the computer.
I only needed Bea’s phone so I could load a couple of decoding programs that will help her access the governor’s computer. That was going to require a few more extra hours of working in that damn laboratory. But I guess I had no choice, and neither did Bea who I asked to come over later that evening to collect her phone.
Chapter 23
Ididn’t even notice the time flying by being caught up with work, nor did I hear Bea’s calls. Or maybe I didn’t want to hear them, being far more focused on maintaining that line between dream and reality so I could be able to finish the job before anxiety kicked in.
Somehow I managed to pull it off, though not without a price. The trip down memory lane had me drift away to a vicious place. An egotistic area where only I and my cravings mattered. And that would have repercussions on one certain person — Bea.
After taking yet another fist full of pills, in an attempt to avoid the unavoidable, I walked straight to my room, insulating myself from them all before I would do some irreparable damage.
At some point, Alfred came in to see if I was okay. My murky state of mind along with the vodka glass I held tightly in my hand convinced him of exactly the opposite. But he was smart enough to know he couldn’t be there for his own sake and despite all devastation that followed, he understood to keep his distance.
