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“Please, forgive me, my lord,” Julia insisted, still feeling guilty even though he had told her not to. “I was not thinking.”
“I don’t think that either of us were thinking,” Lord Sutthers whispered and Julia wasn’t sure whether his rosy cheeks were due to the chill in the air or the embarrassment that he was feeling at what they had almost allowed to occur.
Feeling her own deep embarrassment and unable to meet his gaze, Julia dropped her gaze and lowered her head before she responded, “Maybe we should return and find the others? I think perhaps I am prepared for those refreshments now, after all.”
Even as she said the words, her body screamed at her to stop. Deep down she wanted nothing more than to continue where they had left off before she had so stupidly hurt him, but her sense and rational thought had quickly returned to her.
She knew that if she allowed herself to be taken by this man, here in the orchard, unmarried and even unbetrothed, then she would be no better than any of the women he had been rumoured to have slept with over the years.
No, if we are to have any hope, then our relationship must be different,she determined, even though her body was still screaming at her to ignore all rational thought and merely do what felt right.
“I think you may be right, Miss Julia,” Lord Sutthers confessed and although his expression was still tight with pain, he offered her a smile when she glanced up at him. It was his next words that made her head spin all over again and her knees grew so weak that she wasn’t sure she would be able to walk anywhere.
“I am not sure I will be able to control myself if I spend another moment alone in your presence.”
The feeling was mutual and so she deliberately held out her hand and lifted her chin as she said, “Please, will you help me? I find I am quite stuck in the snow.”
With a smile and even a hint of laughter, Lord Sutthers helped her by gripping her hand and guiding her back onto the path from where she had stepped off it to lean against the tree trunk. In all her years of loving nature and trees, she had never imagined that she might have almost lost her virtue against the trunk of one.
Yet the nook created between the tree trunk and the close by hedgerow was oddly cosy and she knew that it was best to get out of there while she still had the chance to do so.
“You must forgive me for my lack of self-control, Miss Julia,” he whispered into her ear even as they made their way back down the path, “I don’t believe I have ever been so enchanted by a woman in all of my life.”
His words sent a warm tingle down her spine, and suddenly she wasn’t quite so eager to get away from the orchard. Only her good sense made her continue to put one foot in front of another.
Chapter 12
"Why are you not ready to go?" Jonathan demanded, arriving in Gabriel's study several weeks after he had finally been released from bed rest.
It appeared that most had forgotten the incident or if they had not, they no longer spoke of it. Though Gabriel was relieved not to hear the constant concern in people's voices anymore and he had gotten over his injuries swiftly, he missed being able to use it as an excuse.
"I am not sure I feel up to going," Gabriel admitted without looking up from the paperwork he had been going through.
"How can you not go? It is the first skating party of the Christmas season!" Jonathan exclaimed. Unlike his brother, he was all dressed and ready to go, right down to the scarf and skates hanging around his neck. The blades were freshly sharpened and the leather undamaged. Gabriel cringed just seeing them. It would be the first time that either of them had ever skated.
If only our father were still here to show us as he had promised,Gabriel thought, disheartened. There were many English traditions their father had promised to teach them before his untimely death, so many things they had been promised to share with him before his passing, all of which Gabriel would have rather avoided. Yet Christmas itself was practically unavoidable.
"I fear I will aggravate old wounds," he added quickly with a shrug. Jonathan's immediate response was to place his hands on his hips and cock his head to one side with his eyebrows raised.
"That might have worked a couple of weeks ago, but I saw you the other day chasing your horse across the field," Jonathan said in a warning tone. "You cannot fool me, brother. We both know very well why you do not wish to go."
"Then you will let me be," Gabriel said, and with a quick glance at his brother, he turned his attention back to his work again.
"I will not," Jonathan insisted. He stepped up to the desk and slammed his hand down on the surface. Leaning over it, he caught his brother's eye and said, "There are two young ladies waiting to skate with us and I will not have you letting them both down because you cannot let go of the past."
"You do not know that they will be there," Gabriel protested. He had not had word from Miss Julia in several days, though they had shared some correspondence in the days since he had kissed her in the orchard when things had nearly gotten out of hand. Back then, winter had still been in the early stages and though they'd had early snowfall, it had not really felt like winter or Christmas.
Itdid now, with their mother having insisted on putting up the decorations, and he was certain that it would be even worse at the skating party. If he could be certain that Miss Julia would be there, then perhaps he might consider it, but he had not had a letter in a few days, and had heard no mention of the skating party from her.
"That is where you are wrong, brother," Jonathan insisted and Gabriel held his breath as he watched his brother reach into the breast pocket of his coat. "I received word from Miss Chelsea just an hour ago."
Curiously, Gabriel took the letter that his brother offered him. Though there was little in the way of intimacy or affection, he still felt quite odd reading his brother's private correspondence and having done so, he quickly shook his head and pointed out, "This says that Miss Chelsea shall be there, but it says nothing of Miss Julia."
Even at his own words, he felt a hint of frustration before his brother scowled.
"You and I both know that they rarely go anywhere without each other," Jonathan pointed out, removing the letter from Gabriel's hand. A deep sigh erupted Gabriel’s lips, coming right from his gut because he knew his brother was right. They were rarely seen apart unless they were at home with their families.
Whenever there was any kind of event on, they seemed to be by each other’s side. It certainly made it easier for Gabriel to see Miss Julia whenever his brother took a fancy to seeing Miss Chelsea.
