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Gabriel flinched. He knew all too well what his brother meant. He had been the happiest he had ever been when in Miss Pritchard’s presence. But there was nothing he could do.
“My mind is made up and nothing you can say shall change my mind on the matter,” Gabriel persisted. He glowered at his brother, a small part of him hoping that he might still try to change his mind. Instead, Jonathan huffed out a large and exaggerated breath, shook his head, and turned, storming from the room before he could say another word on the matter.
Chapter 21
Miss Pritchard,
I wish to write and thank you for the wonderful time we have shared together. I wish for you to know that I regret none of it, though I am sorry to say that I can no longer enter into this courtship that has begun between us.
You are much too beautiful and intelligent a woman for me. I only wish to see you happy and therefore I must tell you that you shall not see me again. If we are found under the same circumstances at some such party or other, I wish for you to know that I shall not trouble you.
I wish for you to know I hold no ill will toward you and understand your reasoning for withholding your true identity from me, but I can see now that our match would never come to anything good.
Kindest Regards
Gabriel Tatford, The Earl of Sutthers
Julia read the letter over and over again until she felt as though she could barely breathe. The words themselves seemed to have wrapped their hands around her throat and were choking her until she was blue in the face. Never in a million years could she have imagined that she would receive such a letter, even after all that had happened the evening before at Lady Drover’s manor.
The tears that had pricked at the corners of her eyes the night before, those that had been held off only with her hope that the earl might go home and think on the matter further before coming back to her, now fell freely. They dropped onto the paper in her hand and smudged the words he had written there until they were barely decipherable to anyone but her.
Deep down, she knew she ought to have been prepared for this, and yet she had allowed herself to hope, even after promising herself after her last London Season that she would never allow herself again to think of love and marrying for any such thing.
I should have known this was how it would end,Julia thought, feeling more ill than she had ever felt in her life. She ought to have realised that it was too much to hope that Lord Sutthers would be different from the gentleman who had sought to marry her only for her dowry. But she never would have guessed that he could go entirely the opposite way.I suppose Mama was right when she said to be careful what you wish for.
Over the next week or so, Julia was wracked by a hundred different emotions. She went from sheer grief, to disbelief, to determination, refusing to give up on all that she had hoped for. Writing several letters to the earl, she prayed for a response. And yet none ever came.
Desperate still, she even turned up on his doorstep, knowing very well which townhouse belonged to the Tatford brothers after all the scandal and talk that had surrounded them since their arrival in England more than three years ago.
But the butler turned her away with an apologetic expression, stating that his master was too busy to take an audience. Perhaps if Julia had been in her right mind, she might have seen the worry that clouded the old man’s brown eyes, but as things stood, all she could think about was how determined Lord Sutthers was to avoid her now.
How could I have been so stupid?She found herself thinking over and over, remembering how she had given herself to the earl in the carriage that afternoon without ever thinking of the future or what it might mean for her or her marriage prospects if he were to turn around and deny her afterwards.
Still, she could not bring herself to regret it, only that she had not been honest sooner. Maybe then she might have been able to save herself a little heartache. Though it did not matter. Whether she had told him in the first week or even before they had shared in each other’s bodies, she would still feel the same rejection and heartache that she felt now, only sooner.
I least I have my memories,she thought, still able to feel the way she had felt when he had been inside her. She held onto it with an iron grip, hoping against hope that maybe one day her determination would be enough to wear him down once more so that she might see him and get a true answer as to why he had so suddenly turned away from her.
Though she was almost entirely certain that she only had herself to blame, she couldn’t help but feel that there was something more to it than that. A little voice in the back of her mind whispered,you need to keep going. You need to know the truth.
Chapter 22
It had been several days since Gabriel had sent his letter to Miss Julia and though he partly regretted it; he had worse things to be worrying about.
Of late, he and his brother had begun to feel quite unwell with terrible stomach cramps that left them both doubled over and almost vomiting up what little they could take in.
By the time their mother arrived home from visiting their grandmother, they were both so sick that they hadn't set foot out of their respective bedrooms in almost twenty-four hours.
Gabriel was dozing in and out of sleep, trying not to think of the pain in his stomach, when there was a knocking upon his bedroom door. Weakly, he called for the person to enter and the butler stepped into the dimly lit room with a bow to announce, "My lord, your mother is without."
Even before the butler could finish, Gabriel's mother swept into the room with a huff. "I need no introduction to see my own son. Especially when he is sick!"
"Madre,I am glad you are home safe and well," Gabriel said, struggling to hold back a feeble cough even as he urged himself up into a sitting position propped against the mountain of pillows behind him. He gestured for the butler to be dismissed, knowing his mother would not leave until she had seen him. Besides, he had missed her and although he was feeling unwell, he was sure he could handle listening to her for a little while. "How was your trip?"
"Exceptionally better than I had anticipated," Lady Sutthers stated, sweeping into the room in a whirl of velvety brown silk. She removed one of her gloves and leaned over the bed to press the back of her hand against his forehead and cheeks. "You are very warm. You should drink something."
Before Gabriel could even say that yes, his throat felt like it was on fire. His mother had grabbed the water jug from the bedside table and poured him a glass. She did not hand it to him but instead leaned over and pressed the cup to his lips, just as she would have done when he was sick as a child.
"Thank you," he croaked when she removed the cup from his lips. The water did little to ease the rawness of his throat, but he forced a smile for his mother all the same. "Enough worrying about me. Tell me about your trip. Was grandmother as grumpy and foul-mannered as cousin Barnaby suggests?"
