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“Of course, Lady Worthingwood,” she said. “I shall wait right outside should Miss Whitworth need me again.”
Once the door was closed, the baroness took her daughter’s hand.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, concern etched into her features.
Rowena tried to give her a reassuring smile. After all, she didn’t want to put any more strain on her mother than she was already feeling. But her mother’s knowing eyes and Rowena’s heavy heart would not allow her to pretend. She sighed, giving her mother’s hand a weak squeeze.
“As well as can be expected, I suppose,” she said. “But I’m not sure if I can really face everyone. It has been four years since the . . . scandal, and I am afraid of what thetonwill say about me reappearing now.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “Thetonis notoriously unforgiving, as you know, and it certainly never forgets. And I fear that four years is hardly enough time for anyone to need to think very hard about why my name sounds familiar to them.”
The baroness’s lip trembled, and tears filled her eyes. It took her a moment to be able to speak, and Rowena wished she had lied rather than been truthful.
“Oh, my darling,” her mother said, looking away in shame. “I would give anything for you to not have to go through with this. I have prayed to wake up and find it is all a horrible dream. I am so sorry, Rowena.”
Rowena shook her head, blinking back her own tears as she pulled her mother into an embrace. She had spoken the truth to her mother and broken her heart. She refused to cry and make it even worse.
“Mother, it’s fine,” she said, trying her best to sound cheerful. “I am doing it for us. After all, the bigger scandal for our family would be for us to be cast into the streets. That’s the last thing I wish for. If this is the price that has to be paid to prevent that, then I am willing to pay it.”
The viscountess nodded, patting her daughter’s back. But Rowena could feel her mother tense up in her arms, and she could guess what she was thinking. There would be no risk of scandal or need to force Rowena to marry to save her family if not for her father’s out of control habits.
And even though there was never anything the viscountess, as a woman, could have done to stop her husband from doing as he pleased, part of her still blamed herself.
“I know, darling,” she said after a moment, sounding resigned. She stepped back and wiped tears from her cheeks. “But seeing you like this hurts me.”
Rowena smiled, even though the effort was painful.
“But it is not impossible that I might end up happy, Mother,” she said, willing herself to believe it. “I cannot discount that possibility. Nor should you.”
The viscountess nodded again, but her expression was still dubious.
“I am so proud of you, Rowena,” she said.
Rowena smiled, even though she felt far less than proud of herself.
“I will make you proud, Mama,” she said.
A few moments later, the two women exited the room. Escorted by Sally, they went down the stairs. Rowena took a deep breath and braced herself as she and her mother entered the ballroom. For a moment, Rowena forgot all her troubles, taken in by the sheer beauty of the ballroom. She ignored the room full of people and instead paused to admire the décor.
Everything was blue and silver, down to the dinnerware and the champagne flutes. The refreshment tables were filled with cakes, cheeses, toasted bread, pies, jellies, and cuts of roast meats. There were also large bowls of fresh fruit spaced evenly along each table. And, of course, there was plenty of champagne and lemonade, for which Rowena was grateful. She rarely drank, but tonight seemed like a good evening to start.
“You both look ravishing, my dears,” the viscount said from behind them.
Rowena didn’t need to turn around to know that her father had already helped himself to a drink. She could smell his breath even before she turned to face him, but she tried to hide her grimace with a smile.
“Thank you, Father,” she said, more coolly than she intended.
She felt her mother tense up beside her and felt instantly guilty. She forced herself to kiss her father’s cheek, stepping back so he could kiss his wife’s. Together, the family made their way toward the refreshment tables.
As more guests began to file into the ballroom, Rowena helped herself to a glass of champagne. She was as discreet as she could manage as she drank her first glass rather quickly. She then took another and casually glanced around the room. She did her best to don a pleasant smile. If she were to attract a husband, she could hardly look as though she was as miserable as she felt.
Her smile did not last, however. It was not long before Rowena began to notice people glancing pointedly in her direction. Her stomach twisted into knots, and she took a long sip of champagne. She avoided meeting anyone’s eyes, determined to not make the evening any harder on herself than she already knew it would be. She prayed that her mother would not leave her alone. And if she did, Rowena decided she would flee.
“Darling, are you all right?” the viscountess asked again.
Rowena looked at her mother and sighed.
“No,” she admitted with a sad smile. “But I will be.”And this champagne will make sure of it.
Her mother gave her a knowing look. She picked up a glass of champagne, even though she didn’t drink, took a sip and, after making a face, she handed it to her daughter.
