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"I take it you've seen the footage."
"You said you were going to have it taken care of. I don't care if it was a mistake. I don't care if you did this on purpose.You didn't tell me.” I felt my eyes starting to water. “And that's what hurts the most: the fact that you kept this from me.You know how I feel about honesty and transparency. Is that why you've been so closed off? Is that why you haven't been talking to me this week? You make me feel like I'm nothing with your lack of emotion. Do you even care howIfeel? Don’t you—"
"That's not true, Madison. The whole reason that I was acting this way all week is because I felt terrible—"
"—Shut up Randy! I'm not done speaking. You have no idea what it feels like to realize that our sex tape is on the web."
"I can have my legal team take it—"
"Randy! I'm. Not. Done. Speaking. T
I'm done. This is it. You've shown me that you don't care about how I feel or what I go through. I'm hurt and I can't take it anymore. So I'm breaking up with you. Don't bother trying to talk me out of it. I'm done."
Without looking at him, I opened the door and left.
It was a painful breakup. I had to leave a job that had been paying my bills for so long, and I was devastated. My nest egg was a comfort, but it didn't stop the heartache. I felt so small and powerless. I felt like all of the walls I had so carefully built up around myself had been smashed to pieces, and all that was left was a pile of bricks. I was firmly behind the wall again, and it would be a long time before I trusted anyone else.
Randy may have made me feel good in the moment, as if I was escaping reality and discovering that the world could be unpredictable in a positive way, almost like a fairytale. After that, I no longer had any interest in romance.
Frankly, he killed romance for me. Romance and trust. God, how I regret going to that ball.
If he’s CEO of anything, it’s being a dick.
Ha!Skydick.
Chapter 19
Randy
I worked overtime that night for a very important reason: to try and get rid of the sex tape that had been posted online. I called every legal team and private investigator I knew, as well as various police teams and government agencies, and reached out to other billionaires with tech savvy to see if they could help erase the video. I did everything I could to ensure that no trace of that video remained, both for the girl's sake and for my own.
I was overcome with guilt and embarrassment. It was one of the biggest blunders of my life, worse even than anything I had done while intoxicated. I questioned if I even had a chance at repairing the damage I'd done. Could I ever reach out to her again? How was I supposed to make up for such a catastrophic error? Most people had urged me to move on, and even my friend had agreed.
As the sun set, I sat in my office, feeling more isolated and alone than ever before. Despite having hundreds of followers on social media, I was completely alone in my ivory tower. The one person I wanted to be there with me was completely out of reach, and I felt a deep sadness as I watched the sun dip below the horizon.
I rummaged through my desk, my fingers eventually finding the whiskey bottle. I knew that one crack of the bottle and one pour of the glass would be enough to undo all the sobriety I had built up over the past months.
I got out the glass next and stared at it, feeling a twinge of sadness. I had made such huge strides in my sobriety over the past few months and yet here I was, considering throwing it all away. It was like I was punishing myself, and it felt wrong. Then I thought back to when I first had my own business. I was so hard on myself, telling myself it was too small. But I'd made so much progress! I was proud of myself for that. Ultimately, there was one thing that was stopping me from opening that bottle and drinking it.
Madison.
Sure, Madison hated my guts. She wanted nothing to do with me. But I did know one thing: the girl did not want me to relapse.
I knew I had to do something drastic to stop myself from drinking the whiskey, so I put the bottle and glass away and punched the wall. I knew it wasn't the best decision, but it was necessary and it ended up helping me more than it would have if I did it for someone else.
The wall before me was a formidable presence. Its industrial concrete was cold and unyielding. My hand felt as though it might be broken, though I couldn't be sure. My real injury was in my mind. It was too worn out to express what I was feeling in my heart, but my brain was a mess. I needed a plan to get Madison back. How could I do it?
I paced the office, my nerves getting the better of me. I eyed my desk, where the whiskey bottle sat, and thought about it longingly. James had been right -- I liked Madison more than I'd let on. But how do you make someone love you again, especially after the leak of a sex tape? I had no idea.
I asked a pastor at a church located a block away from my workplace what his thoughts on the matter were.
"It sounds like you're desperate for this woman's love."
"I am. I’d do anything to get her back. But I have no idea how to. God, I can't remember the last time I even stepped foot in the church, but I'm completely at my wit's end."
"It's a very foul thing that you did. Very indecent yes,” he criticized me, but it was warranted. “ If you want to rebuild trust with her, you need to demonstrate that you understand the magnitude of what you did and take responsibility for it. Show her that you are committed to making things right and that you want to make sure she feels safe and secure. Ask her what else she is struggling with in the aftermath of the video being leaked, and listen to her with empathy and understanding. What is it thatyouthink is still plaguing her besides the fact that you didn't tell her about that awful tape being leaked?"
"I don't know. I guess I also feel bad about the fact that no one knows that we're dating. And if anyone does know it's because of that tape."
