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Lucy let herself into the bathroom with me and she sat on the bathtub surround, delicately washing her little paws while she waited for me to get through the shower. Lately she’d been doing that, spending time with me before bed, but then she’d saunter out the door and down the hallway and I knew from checking on the baby during the night that Lucy would jump up into the crib and sleep at Daniela’s feet, keeping watch over her newest human.
It was only moments after I crawled into bed that I felt the disturbance in the house and Bailey exploded off the bed and ran down the hallway, his collar jingling.
There was a soft sound from the kitchen, one that made my heart race even as I felt relief settle into my gut: she was home and safe.
I didn’t go to her. Instead, I listened for her quiet footsteps as she walked down the hall and I heard the low, sweet murmur of her voice to Daniela, then the soft sounds of gentle kisses on sweet baby cheeks.
I was going to make this work, for her sake. I would save her all the heartbreak I could; take the reins on this and show her that we could do this thing together. Because if I knew Madelyn, it was that she’d blame herself for this and struggle with the thing she couldn’t actually fix.
There was a soft sound as she set her small bag on the chair near the door and the pressure in the room changed as she gently shut the bathroom door.
She was in there a long, long time, the shower running and then not. The sound of her teeth being brushed and the slip of clothing, and then…nothing.
Whatever it was, I couldn’t take the distance, the silence, the way she kept herself from me, a moment longer. I opened the bathroom door to find her standing at the sink, her hands braced on the countertop, her head hanging low between her shoulders.
She startled just a little when I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her middle, pulling her back into my chest. I’d waited long enough and she’d proven she could outstubborn me, so I was done with patience, with waiting for her to come to me.
When I spun her to face me, she quickly dashed at her cheeks with her fists and I held an index finger under her chin to tip her face up to mine. She kept her eyes downcast as I used the same hand to brush the trails on her face.
“Mrs. Beckman. What are we doing to do about this?” I sighed, waiting for her to raise red, swollen eyes to mine and when she finally did, finally let me see what was happening in her heart, I leaned down to kiss her softly.
It took her no time to turn what was supposed to be a gentle, comforting kiss into something hungry and desperate. Which of us was instigating and which was reciprocating, I don’t know that I could tell you, but I hoisted her up onto the bathroom counter so she could wind her legs around me, her fingers moving greedily over my bare upper body.
My girl had been starving herself just as I had, keeping herself from me, perhaps for fear of the emotions she’d be unable to control if she let go. If anything, Madelyn was always in control, and for once I wanted to watch her voluntarily surrender it and lose herself.
Sliding one arm around her back and lifting, I slid the other hand beneath her butt to lift her, carrying her from the bathroom and into the bedroom, flipping the light switch as I went. When she tried to protest, I shushed her. “For fuck’s sake, woman. Let me do something for you for once. Stop keeping score. Stop carrying the burden by yourself. Whatever it is, I promise you I can handle it.”
She sagged in my arms when I said it and carefully I stretched her out on the bed, peeling down her sleep pants and underwear, then working the tank top over her head.
“So fucking gorgeous,” I growled at her. “You know I spent my whole damn life dreaming about this?”
She made a sound, an inhalation of breath, and held out a hand to me. I wasted no time accepting the invitation, parting her legs with one knee so I could crawl up between them, keeping one knee between and the other anchored over her other leg.
Her hands shook when she slipped them beneath the waistband of my pants, taking two firm handfuls of my ass and pulling my body to hers. I loved it when she stopped fighting herself and just gave in to what she wanted, and I loved it even more when I felt like what she wanted was me. Because I knew it was silly and insecure, but I still questioned whether there was a chance she could feel for me what I felt for her. Madelyn was a wildcat in bed and I couldn’t be sure her reactions to me had anything to do with emotion, because maybe she just enjoyed sex.
“I’ve missed you, baby,” I whispered into the soft skin of her neck, because it was true. She’d been mine for far longer than she knew, I just had to help her see it.
She groaned something and reached for my face, bringing my mouth to hers in what was a desperate kiss. I could taste fear and loss, desire and sadness, and I pulled back slowly, determined not to let her rush me. I wanted to take my time, to love her the way I’d played out in my head so many times, and to convince her with patient, gentle actions that she’d made the right choice with me.
This girl I’d known for my whole life…it had taken us so long to get here, and I was certain that Daniela was our miracle. She was the one who’d brought us together, otherwise I’d have spent the rest of my life stupidly pining after the woman I couldn’t have.
We hadn’t tried a lot of things yet. Largely the two of us had attacked each other like teenagers in heat the times we’d been together the few weeks we’d had without Daniela, which meant time hadn’t been taken the way it should have been. There were plenty of repeat occurrences, because we hadn’t been able to keep our hands off each other, and while neither of us had been complaining, I wanted more.
Tonight I was going to slow things down. It had been a while and I’d missed the warmth of her skin against mine; the way she sighed when I touched her and the way she cuddled into me and linked her fingers through my own, anchoring my arm over her as she fell asleep. Shewantedto be held, which was why I couldn’t understand the distance of the past few weeks, and it had really messed with my head.
She sighed and hummed when I drew patterns on her skin with my tongue, and I knew I was going to have to convince my girl to be patient with me. She was zero to a hundred in no time flat, and teaching her to slow down and enjoy the trip was going to take some doing.
I worked my way from her breasts, back up to her mouth and spent long moments slowing her with deep kisses, the kind you felt deep in your belly.
She wriggled impatiently beneath me, her hips arching up to find my body and I chuckled against her mouth. “Let me slow it down. I want to take my time and enjoy this, like I haven’t yet. I’ve always been so frantic to get my hands on you that I’ve made a mess of things. I haven’t shown you what you’re worth to me.”
She stilled then and I could feel her looking up at me intently in the dark. She lifted a hand to my face and smoothed it down my cheek, like she was petting me, and she whispered, “Ok, baby. I’ll play. Show me.”
The endearment thrilled me and I could feel her body vibrating when I kissed her again. I took my time, dragging my fingers in long, smooth, slow strokes across her body, purposely avoiding the areas I knew she really wanted to be touched.
“Please, Adam,” she finally begged with a breathy whisper and finally I lowered my mouth to her breast and drew slow, soft circles with the tip of my tongue. Sucked gently, until a needy moan came from her throat, then lapped my way slowly down her stomach.
Her breath was rapid; I could feel her stomach rising and falling with shallow pants as I kissed my way across one hip bone, then the other, down the outside of her thigh and back up the inside. Her legs widened in a silent plea as I did, and she groaned when I brushed my fingers gently over the apex of her thighs.
