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I had to steady myself, remind myself to slow down, rather than devouring her the way I wanted. I needed to draw it out, to show her I was everything she wanted, and I had to make sure she wanted more.
Pressing my hips into the bed did nothing to relieve the ache and I reached down to squeeze hard, buying myself a little time so I could give her the attention she needed.
The problem was that the noises she made and the way her body moved did nothing to further my resolve. It was a powerful thing to be wanted by a woman like Madelyn, someone who gave everything, and I reached up to link one hand with hers as she fisted the sheets. She was going easy on me, I knew, when she wanted to sink her fingers into my hair and guide me. It was hard for her to give up control, but that was her gift to me.
Lucky for me, Madelyn was very vocal, leaving no doubt as to what she liked and I measured the sounds of her sighs and moans, adjusting my timing and pressure accordingly.
“Adam,” she gasped suddenly and I lifted my head. I loved the sound of my name from her mouth, especially in situations like this. “I’m going to need you to slow down, or this is going to be over in a hurry.”
I grinned, though I was sure she couldn’t see it in the darkness of the room, and I trailed lazy kisses across her pelvis and back down her thighs. It would take no time to tip her over that blissful edge and in seconds she was gasping and rocking, and I could feel the gentle pulses on my tongue as she released a long, drawn out moan.
I grinned to myself.That’s one.
Apparently Madelyn was done being patient with me, because she was up in a flash and she had my pants off before I knew what had happened.
Her mouth was hot on my skin as she kissed and licked her way down my neck and across my chest, her hands always moving as she held herself over me.
“Hey,” I protested half-heartedly. “I wasn’t finished with you.”
She raised her head and I knew she was grinning at me, something wicked.
“I’m just getting started with you, Beckman.”
I chuckled, reaching out one hand to slip into her hair before cupping the side of her face and she twisted a little to kiss my palm, something sweet that was our own. Those were the small moments when I saw inside her heart, with those tender gestures, something she didn’t give to anyone else and I knew they were only for me.
She was the stuff my fantasies were made of and here she was, in the flesh.
Real.
My wife.
Mine.
I had to bite down on the growl that wanted to rumble out of my throat, a sound of possession for the woman who possessed me, and had for almost as long as I could remember.
It was when she wrapped her lips around me that I lost all coherent thought. It was every fantasy come to life, complete with the soft, sensual hum that drifted from her mouth and through my body. I let myself relax into it; enjoyed the way her hands continued to smooth over my skin and her hair tickled as she moved.
“Baby,” I finally whispered hoarsely. It was her warning and she reached one hand up to find mine, linking her fingers with mine as I had with hers. She squeezed gently, but she didn’t slow, and I tried to keep from bucking wildly when the coils unwound in a burst of silvery light, my heartbeat roaring in my ears. I felt a string of words leave my mouth, something that burst out without my knowledge or recollection and I felt her freeze.
What the fuck had I just said?
I leaned over to snap on the small bedside lamp and she winced at the light. She looked a little wrecked, and I hoped it wasn’t because I’d gotten too rough with her. The woman made me lose my mind and I hoped she didn’t hold it against me. I reached down to cup her chin, running my thumb over her swollen lips.
I didn’t even care. I dragged her up to me, draping her over my lap and holding her close to kiss her lips and press my face into her neck. It would take a while for my breathing to slow and something inside felt dangerously sharp and painful. Emotional and fearful.
With the edge taken off, we slowed. Everything became even more intimate, more meaningful, and she held my gaze when I twisted to lower her to the bed. I wanted her again, in the way that made her only mine, and when our bodies came together I watched a tear leak from one of her eyes. She was feeling the things I was, I was sure of it, and I leaned down to kiss it away.
More tears trailed down her cheeks and I paused, beginning to worry I was hurting her and she was saying nothing, but she shook her head at me and lifted her hips again, so I resumed slowly. I took my time, in no rush, trying to memorize the feel of her body and the soft sounds she made.
That was when I knew I was well and truly fucked: I’d been in love with a fantasy and now I had the real thing. It would take nothing for her to break me, something I’d sworn I’d never let another woman do, and when she wrapped her arms tightly around me and her body began to tremble, I followed her over, wondering why the moment felt like goodbye.
19
Madelyn
Why?
I waited until Adam’s breath evened out and he slept peacefully beside me before swinging my feet over the edge of the bed and sitting there with my elbows on my thighs, my face in my hands. That wasn’t supposed to happen–none of it–and his words had broken my heart, because I was certain they weren’t for me.
