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I couldn’t tell her I blocked her number and deleted her old messages so I’d stop obsessively looking at them, so I forced a smile. “It’s nice to see you,” I said, cringing at how stilted I sounded. The confusion was wearing off and turning to irritation. I didn’t need this. “I wish I’d gotten your messages that you’d be visiting, but I really don’t have time to show you around.” I tried to get around her to make my escape to the bustling sidewalk outside, but she blocked me, all but holding out her arms to keep me from passing. “Maybe Ray—”
She hissed and put her palm on my chest to stop me in my tracks. “I’m pregnant.”
Time seemed to slow down and my vision reeled the way it did in cheesy horror movies. This couldn’t be real, except I could tell by her face she wasn’t joking. Luna wouldn’t take off work to fly here and joke about something like that. She wouldn’t lie about it, either.
I took her elbow and guided her to the elevators, hitting the floor for my office. “Let’s go upstairs where we can have privacy,” I choked out.
She stood stiffly by my side as we whisked upwards, then I hustled her past my assistant’s desk and into my office, where I shut the door firmly behind us. “How far along are you?”
She sighed and looked around. Feeling like a heel, I motioned for her to have a seat. Instead, she wandered over to the tall windows.
“You were right, this is an amazing view. Totally worth cheating at poker for.”
I grimaced, in no mood for small talk. I sank into my desk chair and swiveled to take in the view she was still gazing at. It was overcast and some of the buildings blended in with the gray sky. Rain threatened and I noted she didn’t have an umbrella with her.
“Listen,” I said, struggling to figure out what to think, let alone what to say. “You don’t need to worry about a thing.”
“I don’t?” she asked. Her eyes were wide and questioning.
“Of course not. “I’ll help you take care of this.”
Those beautiful blue eyes narrowed. “Take care of it? How?”
Of course she’d have to make it difficult. “I’ll give you money, of course. Whatever you need.”
She backed away from the window, her hands rising to her midsection. “Are you saying you want me to—”
“Jesus, no. I don’t mean that at all,” I hurried to assure her. “That’s up to you, I mean. If that’s what you want, then I’m going to support you—”
“It’s not what I want,” she snapped. “I’m having the baby.”
She was making me seem like a monster. I felt like a monster, and deep indignation welled up in me. We’d been together one time. One amazing, memorable time, but she was acting like I owed her something I didn’t.
“Listen, you just sprung this on me four minutes ago. I’m a little shocked, but I’m absolutely fine with whatever you want to do.” I held up my hand before she could snap at me some more. “I’ll do my part financially, but I have no interest in being a father right now.”
Cold, but succinct. And one hundred percent true. My heart rate was off the charts and it was difficult to catch a breath. I remained outwardly calm though, as I watched her digest what I said. Her stiffly held lower lip trembled and her eyes welled with tears. I had the insane urge to go to her and pull her into a comforting hug, but that would only give her false hope.
“Well, that’s just too bad,” she spat, clearly furious. “Because you are a father now, whether you like it or not.”
The words hit me like a slap, and she turned and stormed out of my office. I meant to make sure she took an umbrella with her, but I was too shocked to move from my chair. I couldn’t follow her, or even buzz my assistant to go after her. It took a full ten minutes before I could stand up and pace my office.
A father. A baby. I rarely even vaguely thought about children, since I rarely thought about getting into a relationship. I had plenty of time to start a family and still had so many things I wanted to accomplish professionally.
Except I didn’t have plenty of time. She hadn’t answered when I asked how far along she was but I could do simple math. I had no time at all until I was a father. Whether I liked it or not. And just then, I didn’t like it at all, feeling trapped and betrayed, all the while knowing Luna wasn’t that kind of person. She must have been just as shocked as me to find out.
I stopped pacing and sank back into my chair, turning to look out at the sky, which was about to let loose with a torrent of rain any second now. I hoped Luna had made it to her hotel or back to the airport, or wherever she was headed. The more I thought about our brief interaction, the more disgusted I felt with myself. My eyes strayed to the bookcase next to the window and settled on a framed family picture from when my sister and I were in high school. She gave it to me as a joke since we both thought we looked pretty dorky, but I actually loved the picture. My mom looked impossibly young, still with her vibrantly colored auburn hair and her chin tilted up to gaze adoringly at my dad. He smiled straight ahead into the camera, with a hand on each of his children’s shoulders. My sister and I sat in front of them, looking sheepish with our trendy hairstyles and clothes, as if we knew one day we’d look back on this picture and laugh at ourselves.
I wasn’t laughing now, as I looked at my father’s stern, proud face. He’d always been a huge supporter of everything we did, and was always there for us despite running his own huge company. Now that he was retired, I was certain he’d delight in having a grandchild to spend some of his free time with.
One thing I knew for certain was that he wouldn’t be delighted with how I’d just acted toward Luna.
Chapter 20 - Luna
As I pulled onto my street, I snapped out of a brain fog, not completely sure how I got home from the airport. The flight back from New York was also a blur. I was too stunned at how Jax had taken my news to cry, but everything after I stormed out of his office went dull and colorless. I had to snap out of it and face reality. I definitely pictured things going a lot better, but things were what they were. We were facing this alone.
“It’ll be fine,” I said, patting my belly. Despite feeling sick a lot of the time, I liked having a little presence with me.
Turning into my driveway, I took in my cozy, two bedroom house. There was a box hedge in front of the porch that was getting a bit unruly, but the wood siding was in perfect condition, the windows hung with the lace granny curtains I loved so much. The second bedroom had seemed like such an extravagance when all my friends at the time were renting tiny apartments, but I liked having that extra space for my craft projects and a small desk to keep all my paperwork off the kitchen table. Now it was going to be the baby’s room and I was already getting excited thinking about decorating it.
