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I shouldn’t overthink it, though. It’s not a big deal if he wants to take it slow.
It isn’t.
I manage to put our conversation out of my mind and just enjoy the evening. After dinner, he brings out a massive carton of ice cream, and we eat right out of the tub on the couch, with a movie on in the background. I can barely follow the plot; I keep glancing over at Tanner. He has one arm around my shoulders, and the warmth from his body is making me kind of drowsy. I could get used to this. Us two, just having a quiet evening together on the couch. Talking and laughing together. How am I supposed to take this slow?
I yawn and nuzzle closer to his side. Tanner smiles down at me and kisses me on my temple.
“Are you getting tired?”
“A little,” I tell him.
“Maybe we should call it a night, then? Itisgetting late.”
I smile up at him. “I could stay over.”
Tanner’s smile gets a little stiffer than before. “Sophie, I…”
“Sorry,” I interrupt. “We’re taking things slow, I know.” I try to sound light and breezy when I talk, like it’s no big deal, but my embarassment is shining through as my cheeks turn red. I get out from under his arm and stand up. “No worries. I’ll just see you some other time.”
Tanner gets on his feet, leaning in for a kiss. I sink into him, loving the way he caresses my cheek. “Thanks for understanding,” he says as we pull apart. “I just don’t want us to rush into things before we’re ready.”
I’m ready,I want to say.I’m so fucking ready.But I just nod. “No, I get it. It’s a good thing, really. Gives us a chance to get to know each other.”
“Exactly!” he practically yells, making me feel even worse. “I think so, too.”
Great. Awesome. I force myself to keep smiling as I head for the door. I smile through our goodbye kiss, and I smile as I head downstairs. When I hit the street, I let my face fall. Why does this feel so bad? He likes me; he said so! And I get that his ex kind of messed him up a little. I get why he wants to be a little cautious. It’s just going to be hard. I want to see him all the time. Talk to him all the time.
I take a deep breath. It’s okay.
I’m okay.
CHAPTER 3
We continue to see each other every now and then, but Tanner has an influencer event coming up, and less and less time to see me. I try not to let it hurt my feelings, but it does. It feels like he’s avoiding me. I call him every day, though, needing to hear his voice. The phone calls are short; he keeps saying how busy he is, but I take what I can get.
Another week passes, and the time has come for him to go to his event. I don’t really understand what someone does at an event for influencers, but I guess it’s a big deal. Tanner seems excited, at least, so I try to seem excited as well. He’s only going to be gone for three days, but I already know I’m gonna miss him like crazy.
“Call me when you get there, okay?” I ask him.
Tanner smiles at me. “I’ll send you a text, Sophie,” he says and loads his designer suitcase into his car. “I’ll be busy, so don’t freak out if you don’t hear from me right away.”
“No, no, I won’t,” I spit out quickly, even though I know I probably will freak out a little. Or a lot.
“Good. I’ll see you in a few days, okay?”
He pulls me in for a quick peck, but I hold onto the lapels of his jacket, deepening the kiss. He smiles and winks at me.
“See you soon.”
“Can’t wait,” I respond and wave goodbye, standing there on the curb as he drives off. There’s a lump in the pit of my stomach all of a sudden. I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but I like Tanner.
I like him a lot.
I take out my phone, typing out a text.
Drive safe.
There’s no answer. But he’s driving, so I don’t really worry about it. Instead, I head back to my place, glancing at my phone every couple of minutes just in case he writes me back. At the apartment, I plop down onto my couch, throwing some random sitcom on in the background, my pomeranian jumping up beside me and snuggling against my chest. I hardly notice what’s going on; my mind is elsewhere.
