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“See you around?” he asked as the frigid morning air enveloped me in its icy embrace.
To salvage some of the returned warmth to my fingers, I shoved both hands into the pockets of my thin sleep pants, fidgeting with the keys and cigarettes. “Well, yeah. You’re my only friend, remember?”
“How could I forget? See ya around, Georgia.”
After an awkward half regular wave, half spirit-fingers wave, I jogged across the lawn and hurried up the front porch steps, smiling the whole way.
This is stupid. I should not crush on my neighbor.It was a quick way to add to my misery when the reality of him never returning my attraction hit home.
Though would it be terrible if in my mind, I had a chance with him, to think that maybe he could be more than a friend?
When Barrett and I started dating, things were hot and heavy between us, the sex fantastic, but that died out a long time ago. Almost the moment I found out I was finally pregnant after months and months of us trying. I missed the connection of being wrapped up in a lover’s embrace, our bodies moving as one. Missed the heat and the flutter in my stomach from anticipation.
I craved to be wanted again. Barrett stopped wanting me a long time ago, only using me and my desperation for any kind of connection to his advantage.
I hadn’t been desired in years.
And the odds of that changing soon were slim to none.
What made it all even worse? The darkest spot in this shit show I now called my life?
In my panic while packing, I’d convinced myself the vibrator was not a necessity.
Worst. Fucking. Mistake.
FOUR
SHADE
The distinct click of the front door stirred me awake. Heels of my hands pressed to each eye, I begged my head to clear. Sleep eluded me most of the night now. My thoughts were sluggish, and my brain felt foggy. My deep groan rumbled through the room as I swung my long legs over the edge of the bed and raised both arms over my head. The overworked muscles pulled and stretched from the workout I put in before my shift yesterday.
The calluses along my palm caught on my morning scruff as I scrubbed at my jaw, staring blankly out the window. The sun had just peeked over the horizon, though the gray clouds meant another gloomy winter day. Which was perfect for working at the goat farm rather than the unbearable heat that didn’t lift until late fall this year.
Trap’s voice, muffled words, filtered beneath the door, drawing my gaze with a frown.
Is he talking to himself?Wouldn’t put it past him, but it would be a first.
My knee popped, stiff back straining, as I stood from the bed to investigate. Not bothering with pants—my best friend had seen more than my boxer-covered ass plenty of times before—I pulled open the bedroom door and started down the hall.
At the top of the stairs, I waited, listening to Trap’s gentle tone and attempting to make out what he was saying.
My lips curled up at the edges. I recognized that tone. It was one he used when trying to help lighten a situation, calm a skittish person or animal. That was Trap. Making people laugh, keeping the tension low was who he was, who he’d always been, even through high school. Whereas I was the silent one who terrified anyone who didn’t know me well, with my larger-than-normal size and intense stare.
When my bare feet smacked the base of the stairs, I caught an unfamiliar scent that wafted through the hall. I studied the closed front door, frowning. My steps were silent as I moved down the hall, following Trap’s voice toward the kitchen. Though I froze in the doorway when I found him at our small kitchen table talking to a tiny puff of black fur.
“What the hell is that?” I asked, pointing at the now-hissing kitten. “And what is it doing in our house?”
“I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen one, but this is a pussy.” With an eye roll, I flipped him the bird. His responding light chuckle had my own growing in my chest. “And I found it—correction,wefound it this morning.” The edges of his lips curled upward, his normally strained smile looking more genuine than it had in a while. “Our new neighbor and I saved it from being eaten by the big bad wolf. Well, okay, not wolf. Coyote. It’s a long story. You should have a cup of coffee, sit, and I’ll explain.”
The mention of our beautiful new neighbor cleared the remaining fog from my head. Forgoing the coffee for now, I snatched a dishtowel off the oven door handle and scooped up the kitten. After wrapping it tight to keep its claws contained, I held it against my chest, securing the wiggling kitten against me with a single palm. It fought the containment for a moment, meowing like a banshee before it fully relaxed, its intense purr vibrating my skin.
I arched both brows at Trap with a pointed look at the kitten, who blinked up at me like I was its true savior. “Looks like I still have the touch. Every pussy melts beneath my thick fingers.”
Head tipped back, Trap’s deep laugh rumbled through the kitchen, filling the room. I stared at my friend, wondering how long it had been since I’d heard him laugh, seen his wide genuine smile. Something happened with him a few weeks back, right before Thanksgiving. It was like a switch flipped for my best friend, and now he was truly working on moving past Jessa’s death.
And he’d made it clear that it was time for me to move on too.
But we both knew healing from that trauma would be harder for me. Trap had the easygoing nature that people flocked toward, unlike me, who people shied away from. Sure, I’d made friends here in Grandger, but I hadn’t truly let anyone in since the day I got the call about Jessa’s accident.
