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My eyes cut to Pippa, who had her hand over her mouth and brows touching her hairline.
“Oh shit,” she breathed.
Oh shit was right.
My cousin stood. “Well, it’s been fun, but I should probably go.”
“Sit your skinny ass back down.” I shot to my feet and pointed at her chair. “You are not abandoning me now. You brought out the liquor that made me flap my lips. You can stick around and act as my buffer.”
“Em, that’s going to be crazy awkward.”
I shook my head, one-hundred-percent adamant. “Nope. Don’t care. You. Are. Staying.”
Pippaand I were sitting on the couch together when the front door clicked open. We both sat as still as statues. Conner slowly stalked inside, his gaze trained on me the second he came into view. He left the door open, which seemed strange until he spoke.
“Time to go, Pippa. Bishop is in the lobby to take you home.” He spoke to my cousin but never took his eyes off me.
“What if she doesn’t want to leave?” I asked stubbornly.
“I’ll have Bishop remove her.”
Pip’s hand squeezed mine. “I told you this wasn’t a good idea. I’m sorry, babe, but I’m gonna bail. You and your man need to talk this over.”
Logic told me that she was right and I’d asked too much, but I still felt a smidge betrayed as I watched her scurry away. The door clicked shut behind her, leaving me alone with all six-foot-something of pissed-off mobster.
I wasn’t even sure why he was so upset. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I hadn’t broken any of his rules, and I certainly hadn’t burned anyone alive or fed information to the police. That made me damn near a model mafia wife, in my humble opinion. So why did my skin feel hot and itchy under his scrutinizing stare?
“You want to tell me what made you decide to start drinking before the sun was all the way up?” he asked as he prowled closer.
“You make it sound worse than it is.” As if he’d never started the day on a rough patch.
“Far as I can tell, it’s a pretty huge deviation from the normal. I assume it has something to do with your father, considering your reaction to learning we had a plan that didn’t involve you. I’d say it sounded like you were upset that we’d infringed upon your plans. You have something planned I should know about?”
I couldn’t take his penetrating stare any longer, so I shot from the couch and began to pace. “Ididhave a plan. Like I told you, I was going to handle things with my father. Then you had to jump in like a damn knight in shining armor coming to my rescue.” My arms waved about as I worked myself into more of a frenzy with every word. “And if you go getting yourself killed, my choice will have all been for nothing. I’ll lose both of you, don’t you see?” I slowed and looked at him pleadingly, hoping he’d come to his senses.
“Not even a little bit.” Exasperated, he crossed his arms over his chest and breathed deeply. “Explain it to me, Noemi. What choice will have been for nothing?”
“Choosing you,” I whispered. “I’m the only one Sante has left. I should have picked him, but I couldn’t because I was most worried aboutyou. If you get involved, he’llkillyou.”
“Your father?”
“Yes. He’ll kill you and anyone who tries to stop him. That’s why I couldn’t tell you the truth, don’t you see? Because if you knew what my father had planned, you’d have to tell the Donatis, and then you’d be in danger. I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t sit by and watch you get hurt. And it pisses me off that I had to decide between protecting you or my brother because it wasn’t supposed to be this way. I wasn’t supposed to fall for you. I told myself I’d never end up like my mother. I told myself not to marry a man like my father. I know I’ll only get my heart broken because this was never supposed to be real, and even though you say itisreal, the oath you made to your organization will always come first. I know how these things work. I knew better than to care for you…” My breathing hitched, the angst and worry of so many months catching up with me and the realization that what I’d said was true—I was falling for Conner Reid.
Tears blurred my vision as I finally lifted my gaze to my husband. He hadn’t moved an inch while I’d unloaded my fears and uncertainty, vomiting up every unfiltered thought at his feet. I wasn’t even sure what all I’d said, but I knew it hadn’t gone over well when his seething glare pierced through me. His body vibrated with every silent curse and violent thought he bit back.
“If you think I amanythinglike your father, then you haven’t learned a damn thing about me.” His words rattled and shook with forced calm, each barbed with pain. They carved their way through my heart as I watched him walk away, leaving me hopelessly shredded and alone.
My knees gave out first.Then the sobs took over before I melted to the ground.
What had I done? I’d been trying to tell him that I cared for him—that I’d chosen him over my family—but it had all come out wrong. Ididknow him. And what I said was true, wasn’t it? His oath to the Byrne brothers would trump all others because that was how it worked with men in that line of work.
Right?
A terrifying uncertainty filled my insides like an icy fog until my bones rattled and shook.
Had I unjustifiably condemned Conner? He’d agreed to a marriage for the benefit of his organization. That seemed to be a telling indicator of what he valued most—that he’d be willing to set aside his chance at love for an alliance. But did his willingness to agree to the arrangement necessarily preclude the possibility that he would value love over duty?
I thought back to the ways he’d subtly or overtly confronted my father. Each of those actions undermined the purpose of the alliance and put the Irish-Italian relationship at risk. But he’d done those things anyway. For me.
