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“We have time for me to… to,” he swallows thickly, “Chlo, I wanted to fucking destroy you.” His words make me blush furiously. I watch the way he swallows, mesmerized by his confession as he adds, “I wanted to make sure you still felt me tomorrow, so whoever had gotten to you before me, didn’t stand a chance at being remembered as a good lay.”
“It’s okay,” I say but can barely get the words out. The idea of still feeling him inside of me tomorrow and what his intentions were does nothing but fill me with lust and make me wish I hadn’t cried. I wish I could have hidden the pain like I’ve read about before. “You can have me, however--”
“Knock it off, Chlo,” Sebastian reprimands, but he says it with a smile that calms my nerves. “I want you to remember this for other reasons. Now that I know…”
I’m hot all over and still trying to gain control of my body and my emotions when he tells me, “Don’t hide this shit from me, Chloe Rose. I’ll find out.” His command comes out more teasing than anything else as he nudges his nose against mine. He reaches between his legs, his arm brushing my clit as he does, and it makes my head fall back against the pillow.
“I’ll tell you everything,” I promise him with the sweet feeling of pleasure building. He’s stroking himself and moving back to where he was, but every small movement brushes against me too, burning hotter than before.
“Then tell me you want me.”
The rhythm of my heart skips a beat. “I want you, Sebastian.”
It races as he tells me, “Spread your legs for me.” I obey him instantly. With him guiding himself back inside of me, I try to hide the wince from the lingering, stinging pain, but he sees. “I’ll make it feel good.” His words are soothing as he pushes himself inside of me and captures my scream with his kiss.
He rocks his hips steadily, each time brushing his pubic bone to my clit and he never takes his lips from mine. So long as I can kiss him back, he keeps his pace and massages his tongue along mine in swift strokes. A warmth floods through me as the pain morphs into divine pleasure.
I gasp for breath the second he parts his lips from mine, but then immediately he seeks them again. My eyes are closed and every touch of is his gentle, save the ruthless way he fucks me.
“Harder,” I beg him while gasping for air, but instead of harder, he moves his hand between us and pushes his thumb to my clit.
Fireworks go off along my skin and deep in the pit of my stomach and lower.
With every thrust from him, I gasp. The sounds of our breathing, of him fucking me and the bed protesting, only fuel me to want more. I don’t dare rip my eyes from his gaze as I cum, feeling him cum with me. I can feel everything, the way he pulses and puts more pressure against my walls, the way he fills me.
And then when he pulls away, I feel everything. Every sensation and tingling need to curl onto my side and recover from what he’s done to me. My body’s trembling, literally shaking.
I hear him go to the bathroom, but I can’t open my eyes to see him. It feels like he’s still there. I’m swollen and the ache is still raw.
But so is this feeling that takes over every inch of me. The rolling tide of pleasure that refuses to leave.
When he comes back to the bed, I want to ask him if it’s always like that, but I don’t.
Instead, I ask him if he wants me to take off the sheets, in a voice still breathless, but he shushes me, getting in behind me and scooting me to the other side of the bed. Even with fatigue weighing me down and the overwhelming sensation of pleasure still racing through me, I want to do something for him, anything.
Theres’s a crushing need to make things right with him, to show him that it’s okay and even better than okay. And that I’m sorry. I feel so fucking sorry.
But he hushes me again and plants a kiss on the side of my jaw, wrapping his heavy arm around me and pulling me close.
“Thank you,” I whisper although I feel foolish doing it. Sebastian doesn’t say anything; he just holds me tighter. I don’t know if I’ve ruined everything and part of me starts to wonder if I have. It was intense and emotional and I’m still riding the high, but the nagging feeling that I’m alone, and that I destroyed whatever we had creeps into my thoughts.
“How did that feel, Chloe Rose?” The deep rumble of his chest accompanies his question.
It felt like he owned me. Body and soul.
“You can do that to me whenever you want,” I answer him with sweet sorrow mixing in my chest. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but tonight, I’ll have forever.
He arranges me so I’m nestled perfectly against his chest on my side, his hand splayed on my belly as he kisses my hair and then my shoulder. Nothing but warmth and comfort flow through me. I’ve never felt so loved. Never in my life have I felt like this. So wholly wanted and cherished. It’s the way he’s brutal, but gentle just the same. I want to believe it’s because of me, because of us. That it isn’t like this with other girls. That he isn’t treating me differently because he found out I’m a virgin. And although the doubt and worry are there, tonight it feels real.
I swear I hear him whisper, “I love you, Chloe Rose,” as my eyes become heavier. He whispered it at the back of my neck. But as quickly as I thought I heard the words, I start to think I imagined it. It’s something I’ve always wanted to hear from him, and I need to hear it now. I desperately need to hear it.
I don’t know if it’s a dream, maybe one I once had long ago and wish to remember, or if it’s real. But as I feel sleep pull me under, I hold on to those words. Deep down inside of my soul, I know they’ll keep me safe.
I only wish I had the strength to say them to him.
SEBASTIAN
How could I not have known?
