AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His sigh slithers down my spine like ice, freezing and shattering my heart inside my chest.
“I love you too, Remi. We both do. Always.”
I hope he can’t hear me crying.
I know that Justin and Jules steered away from masochism, even though I’ve seen the floggers and pinwheels in their collection. But I’m starting to see the appeal. Because hearing him say that stings like a lash against my back, digging deep into my skin and leaving welts where the words embed themselves into my flesh.
It hurts so good. Is that what I need?
“It’ll be better soon,” he says. “I promise you. I’m working on something that’ll make everything better.”
Like a little boy whose mother tells him the monsters under the bed aren’t real, I’m desperate to believe him.
“Do you want me to read to you?”
His voice is soothing and suggestive all at once, and immediately I bite my lip to keep my tears contained as I nod against my pillow.
“Please,” I say softly, unsure if he can even hear.
“Funnily enough, I happen to haveA Clash of Kingsright here on my bedside table. Go to sleep, Remington. I’ve got you.”
I do. I fall asleep to the sound of Justin’s voice, reading me a story, like I have so many times before. With my eyes closed and his voice in my ear, I can almost pretend I’m with them, where I belong.
Almost.
FOURTEEN
JUSTIN
“We need to talk.”
Famous last words, those. How many relationships have met their demise at the end of the sentencewe need to talk?Four little words that destroy my very being.
My eyes close in anguish as her words wash over me. My reading chair, usually my favorite spot in the house besides in Julia’s arms, feels like I’m sitting on jagged glass. I’ve been waiting for it. Counting down the days. I knew it was coming, it was only a matter of when. Selfishly, I’d hoped it would take longer than this.
I turn my head to the side to meet her eye and try to give her a smile, though it feels weak and wilted on my face.
“I know,” I say, and close my book to place it on the table beside me. “I need to swing by my office. I’ll meet you on the patio?”
She gives me a curious look, her head sideways and her bottom lip between her teeth before she nods and turns away. It takes me a minute of deep breathing before I have the courage to push up from the chair and face my demons head-on.
I’m prepared for this, even if I’m not ready. I knew it was coming. It’s time to face the music. With a final calming breath, I finally leave the bedroom.
My office is on the other side of the apartment, so I pass her in the hallway with a bottle of wine and two goblets in her hand. Unbidden, my hand reaches out to stop her. When she gives me that curious look again, I silence it with my hand on her face and my thumb over her lips before my mouth takes my thumbs’ place.
I love the way she tastes. She tastes like home.
I let her go so fast she stumbles, but I don’t stay to help. I hurry down the hallway and shut my office door behind me, listening to the pounding of my heart in the silence of the dark.
“You can do this,” I mumble to myself. I rest all my weight on my hands on the top of the desk, letting my head dangle down from my neck. “It’s not about you. It’s about her. Aboutthem.This is what’s best for everyone.”
I knew it would hurt, but I didn’t realize it would feel like carving out my heart with a spork. The manilla envelope blurs in my hand, and I roughly wipe the tears from my cheeks and slow my breathing into something resembling normal before I leave the safety of my office and walk to meet the firing squad.
She’s got the full heating system activated, and from the toasty quality of the furniture and the way the snow is all but completely melted from the awnings, she’s had it running for a while.
So. I’m not the only one who thought ahead to this conversation. I don’t know if that makes it better, or if it makes me want to cry that much more.
I place the envelope on the table, and her eyes dart to it then me with fear flowing over her features.
