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Where did they go from here?
‘Really, Mummy?’ Ruby said, her eyes brightening with excitement. ‘Can Daddy and me spend the whole day there? I love the zoo.’
A day spent with her father all to herself was Ruby’s ultimate gift and Lacey refused to spoil it. But as she tucked her daughter into bed, and finally got her to go to sleep, she knew she had some tough decisions to make.
She couldn’t stay in a marriage with a man who refused to open himself to at least the possibility of love. Because it would destroy her in the end, and bring back that girl who had once believed she was the problem, the reason her father couldn’t love her.
The staff had the night off on Friday—which was usually an excuse for Brandon and her to make love on the living room rug. But tonight she made herself a simple dinner alone in the kitchen.
She glanced at her phone to check the time.
Where was he? Wasn’t he going to come home at all tonight?
After finishing the food and loading the dishwasher, she poured herself a glass of wine and waited in the sitting room. As the hours ticked by, her hopelessness and confusion increased, but with it came determination.
Brandon was a man who she suspected had never had his defences tested. Had never had to bend since his father’s death. But he would have to bend now or she would be forced to give him an ultimatum.
She couldn’t live without love. She understood if he couldn’t love her yet. But she had to know if he intended them to be bound by nothing more than their daughter...and their sexual connection...always. Because that wasn’t enough, not for her.
She’d begun to doze off when she jerked awake to find his dark shape filling the doorway.
‘Lacey?’ he murmured. ‘You’re still up?’
He sounded surprised, which made the hurt pulse in her chest.
‘Of course. I wanted to speak to you about our conversation this morning,’ she said.
He strode across the room to grasp her hands and pull her out of the chair. But then his lips descended on hers to devour her mouth like a starving man.
The kiss was dark, demanding, possessive—triggering the instant wave of arousal she couldn’t stop. But she stumbled back, out of his grasp, folding her arms around her waist to stop the shivers of response.
‘It’s no good, Brandon, it won’t work any more. We can’t fill the holes in our marriage with sex.’
She had expected him to seduce her, had expected him to argue, demand, coerce, coax so that he could get what he wanted. But instead he jerked backwards, then sat down heavily on the couch and sunk his fingers into his hair.
‘I know,’ he murmured.
It was the very last thing she had expected him to say. But suddenly she noticed the stoop of his shoulders, the grooves in his short hair, as if he’d run his fingers through it many times.
He looked up at her then and she saw the turmoil in his eyes he could no longer disguise.
‘If you want to take the job with Garner, you can,’ he said, his voice hoarse. ‘I won’t object. And we can wait as long as you need to talk about having another child.’ He sounded broken and desperately unhappy.
She sat next to him, lost for words. This wasn’t about the job, or the possibility of more children. But she could see how hard these concessions had been for him to make, and finally she began to understand why. This wasn’t about controlling her. It was about controlling his own need.
‘Just...’ He cleared his throat. ‘Just please don’t leave me.’
She heard it then, the echo of pain and fear, of insecurity, and suddenly she understood what he was doing. He was bargaining with her for her affection, the way she suspected he must have once bargained with his father and his mother.
She placed a hand on his thigh and felt the muscle tense beneath her palm. And let her heart melt. ‘I’m not like them, Brandon.’
His head jerked round. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I won’t leave you if we have a disagreement. Or if I don’t get what I want. Marriage is a negotiation, and I’m sure we’ll have lots more disagreements in our future. But it’s also about love. About the freedom to make your own choices.’ She took in a deep breath.
He’d come to her—he’d tried to fix this and that meant a lot. Maybe she hadn’t been wrong after all. Maybe he could love her, but he just didn’t know how to show it.
‘I know it’s scary,’ she said. ‘I was scared to love you too. But what I’m giving you is a gift, with no strings attached. I won’t take it away, use it against you, the way they did. Because I love you, and they never did. All I’m asking is that you open yourself to the possibility of love in return.’
