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She breathed the words, her heart shattering when he stiffened and stood up. He swore under his breath and marched across to the room’s fireplace to stare into the empty hearth.
She sat still, but her heart broke for him when his reply sliced through the silence. Because what she heard in his voice wasn’t anger, or even demand, it was despair.
‘You don’t know what you’re asking of me,’ Brandon said, his jaw tight, his whole body rigid with the need to hold firm against the emotion in her voice.
He’d agreed to her terms. Why couldn’t that be enough to make her stay?
‘What are you so scared of, Brandon?’ The quiver of vulnerability in her tone, the emotion, sank its claws into his resolve, tearing through the last of his reserves, the last of his control.
He shook his head, his whole body trembling now as the emotion he didn’t know how to stop battered him.
He sunk his hands into his pockets and tried to brace himself against the swell of panic, of fear. But it did no good, because he was back in his father’s study again. He was that forlorn, desperate child, terrified to be alone, but even more terrified to let himself ask for more when he knew it would never be given to him.
A hand settled on his back, spreading warmth through his system and burning through the chill.
‘What is it, Brandon? If you told me, maybe we could fix it.’
We.
Could it really be that easy? The cynic in him said no way, but there was enough of that lonely child inside him to turn and look at her. To gauge her reaction.
She gazed at him, those chestnut eyes rich with an emotion he had been determined to dismiss that morning but wanted so badly to believe now.
‘How can you love me?’ he said, the broken child talking now inside the man. The child he had silenced for so long, it hurt to know he had always been there, lurking, waiting, needing.
A lone tear ran down her cheek. ‘Oh, Brandon,’ she said as she brushed it away with her fist.
She reached up and clasped his cheeks to drag his mouth down to hers.
But as he gripped her waist, desperate to kiss her, she whispered against his lips, ‘I love you because you forgave me for the terrible mistake I made in not telling you about your child.’ She searched his face and he realised she could see him as no one else ever had. Could see his flaws and his weaknesses, as well as his strengths, and it didn’t disgust her.
‘I love you because you were determined to be Ruby’s father even though you didn’t know how.’ Her eyes glowed, full of compassion and affection, resolve and tenacity, but most of all full of love.
‘I love you for all the things you are—a father, a lover, a husband—and all the things you can be, if you’ll just open your heart again.’ She smiled, the rich dark amber full of new hope. ‘And let me in too, as well as Ruby.’
He felt the answering glow in his heart melting the block of ice which had been there for so long, stopping him from feeling.
It hurt to be this vulnerable. To be this unsure.
But she was right. He loved his child. Why should loving Lacey be so difficult when everything about her fascinated and excited him, captivated and beguiled him? Her strength, her intelligence, her bravery and even her total refusal to let him hide from his own feelings, or hers.
He touched his forehead to hers and let out an unsteady breath, his hands sliding under her T-shirt to caress the warm skin beneath.
She was really here, and she would stay. No matter what. But...
‘I want to love you,’ he managed, the words rough, rusty, the commitment terrifying even now. ‘But I can’t...’ He wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to him. ‘I can’t bear to lose you. And I’m bound to screw this up from time to time,’ he whispered against her neck, burying his face into the soft spray of curls, breathing in the sweet, erotic scent of roses. ‘So you have to promise me...’
He huffed out a breath and drew back, feeling foolish, needy, even a bit pathetic, but knowing he had to ask, to be sure. ‘You’ll let me know if I mess up. That you won’t walk away without giving me a chance to fix it.’
Lacey stared at this big, bold, indomitable man, heard the vulnerability in his voice and knew he loved her. Maybe he couldn’t say it yet. Maybe he didn’t really even know it yet. But he would, eventually.
She had hope now and security. But most of all she understood why he had tried so hard to hold himself back. Because he was even more terrified than she was.
‘I’m not like him, Brandon,’ she said again, letting him see everything inside her—all the love, the fear, the hope and the longing. Letting him know that they were equals. Always.
‘He didn’t deserve you. But Ruby and I...’ She grinned as she took his hand and pressed it against her belly. ‘And any other babies we have...eventually,’ she added because, as much as she wanted to have more children with this man, children they could watch grow together, she also wanted more time with just the three of them. ‘Wedodeserve you.’
‘I hope you know I consider that a binding agreement—which I will require in writing, Mrs Cade,’ he murmured, only half-joking.
