AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Keith’s brows wrinkled as his head shook. He chuckled before it settled into a small smile. “I already have plans, bae.”
“Yeah, tonight and tomorrow night. We can go to brunch tomorrow.”
His head shook. “We could, but I don’t want to overdo it, you know?”
She smiled with a shake of her head. Defeat swam through her already empty heart, reminding her of how little she felt his love there. “Alright.”
Keith sighed and sat next to her. “You’re upset.”
“I’m not upset. I’m disappointed.”
“Why?”
“Every time you feel good, you go out with other people. I get the sick, depressed version of you that doesn’t want to do anything. No one is here when you’re sick and in pain, suffering and depressed. They aren’t calling and checking in or doing any damn thing for you. I am. But the moment you feel good and want to enjoy yourself, you do it with everyone in the worldbutme. If we do go out, it’s because I have to force you to, and I don’t like how that makes me feel. It makes me feel like you don’t like me or enjoy spending time with me. I know you love me, but I’m honestly not sure you like me.”
Keith chuckled with a shake of his head. He licked his lips and stared at her for a few seconds in disbelief. “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be with you.”
“Are you sure? Because you don’t ever want to spend time with me outside of the house when you’re feeling well.”
“Bae.” The chuckles he released to downplay the situation only irritated Harmony more for some reason. “I wasn’t thinking that deep into it. I’m in the house all the time. When I’m feeling good, I want to go out. It’s a natural instinct for me to call my guys to have some fun.”
“So do you not have fun with me? Are you tired of me because we live together? What is it?”
He looked away as his expression hardened but looked her dead in her eyes when he said, “We’re not exciting together. We don’t like the same things. So when I want to really enjoy myself, I hang out with my friends.”
Harmony flinched as her breathing hitched. She was unable to stop her grimace. “Maybe it’s a good thing we called the wedding off because these are the kinds of conversations needed to be had before getting married. If you don’t consider me a friend and someone you can have a good time with, I don’t think we need to stay together.”
“Here you go.” His hand waved dismissively. “This is why I don’t like to talk to you about shit because you blow it up and make it more than it really is.”
“More than it really is?” Harmony chuckled. “Keith, if we don’t enjoy each other’s company outside of sex and chilling at home, we’ll be doomed. We won’t always want to go out, hell, even with your sickness that’s proof of things life can throw our way. If we can’t have fun together, sex and attraction will only sustain us so long. And if we can’t have the hard conversations, that’s a problem.”
“You want a hard conversation?” Keith bobbed his head once. “Fine. You don’t excite me. We don’t have fun together unless you’re drunk. We don’t like the same things, and no, I don’t consider you a friend.” He tried to take her hand into his, but she pulled it back. “But I love you. You give me peace. I’m committed to you. There are so many other things that I love about you and being with you. My parents aren’t friends, and they have a healthy marriage. It’s not a big deal to me if we don’t spend time together outside the house, but if it’s that serious to you, we can try new things and see if we can find more that we have in common.”
“I’m glad we had this talk.” Her voice sounded just as tired as she felt.
Harmony stood and Keith groaned. “Harmony…”
“I think we both need to think long and hard about if this is what we really want, Keith.”
Because the truth of the matter was, Harmony didn’t think when it came to love. She relied solely on how she felt. And lately, loving Keith had her feeling like shit. No part of her wanted to leave Keith while he was sick and fighting cancer. Now, Harmony didn’t know if she’d forgive herself if she stayed.
They were more different than she’d realized, and though he may have been okay with not enjoying her company outside of the home, that wasn’t what Harmony wanted out of her marriage. She didn’t just want a companion to have sex with and go to dinner with—she wanted a true life partner, friend, and lover. Someone she was compatible with yet different enough to balance out. Harmony wanted a man she could truly enjoy life with, and it was clear that wasn’t going to be Keith.
Even with him saying they could try new things, she wasn’t sure he would actually do it. As much as she wanted to walk away, she’d regret it if she didn’t give it her all. That felt like the perfect way out. For her to finally leave a relationship that took more than it gave. But instead of leaving, she heard herself say, “We can try, but I’m honestly even less sure we have a future together after this.”
“That’s all I ask is that you try. I can commit to putting forth more effort if you can.” Keith stood and followed her into the bathroom. “This genuinely isn’t a big deal to me, but if this is something that has bothered you, I apologize.”
“It’s fine,” Harmony said, though it wasn’t.
At that point, she trusted Keith with her thoughts and feelings even less. She didn’t want him to downplay how she felt just because he didn’t agree. That was another sign that made her believe he wasn’t the man for her. However, Harmony would see it through. She couldn’t give up on him right now. She couldn’t walk away. The last time she ended things on bad terms with someone who was sick, they died before she could say goodbye. Harmony wouldnotgo through that again.
* * *
Keith’s bodyindented the bed, catching Harmony off guard. After their conversation earlier, she wasn’t expecting him to get into bed with her. His arm wrapped around her frame, and Harmony’s body melted against him. Keith pressed his hardened shaft against her, and Harmony was scared to think something would come out of it. Even if they tried to have sex, there was no guarantee he’d stay hard long enough for her to even cum.
“We need to talk,” he whispered against her neck.
Harmony’s eyes squeezed shut as they watered. She released a tired breath and lifted his hand to her lips to kiss.
