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She defiantly held his surprised and concerned gaze with hers, silently challenging him to judge her or ask questions. He did neither. There was a grave air about her, and although he wanted to know what was troubling her, he did not wish to press her. He wanted her to tell him when she was most comfortable. She took her untouched scotch, and without another word to him, moved to sit in one of the chairs by the hearth.
"I do not ever recall this room being very warm when Father was alive," she said. Albert knew that she was not talking about the warmth from the hearth. He served himself some whiskey before joining her, taking the other chair.
"Should I take that as a compliment?" he asked, raising his glass to inspect the amber liquid for no particular reason.
"Take it as anything you wish, Al. It would not make any difference either way." She drank half of the contents of her glass before continuing, "The old man had not an iota of warmth in his bones. Now that I think about it, I wonder if it was all for the best—"
"What do you mean?" Albert asked, unable to keep the concern out of his voice now.
"I wonder if pushing people out, having a heart like stone could shield one from the pain that comes with love," she replied solemnly. "If the heart cannot feel, then there would be no pain, right?"
"What have they done to you, Lannie?" Albert took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "What has he done to you?"
She shook her head, tears springing to her eyes. "It is not them, Al. God knows my in-laws have treated me better than I deserve," she replied. "And it is not Konstantin. I think your question ought to be what I have done to him." She looked down at her drink
"Oh, Lannie," he sighed. The questions were on the tip of his tongue, but he was hesitant to give them voice for the fear of unearthing more of her pain.
As though she had read his thoughts, she released a breath, then spoke, "I… I lost it, Al. The child." Her chin quivered with barely suppressed emotion, and she could not look at him. "I have never felt less in my life as I do now. I have never felt so lost."
He shut his eyes as his heart broke for her, remembering how excited she had sounded in her letter, telling him about the child she was bringing into the world. "Nothing I say now is going to change anything, Lannie, and I cannot say that I completely understand what you are going through, but I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love and support you. I will always be here." He rose from his seat and pulled her into his arms.
She began to sob. Knowing her, she likely had kept everything inside her until now. "Do not keep it inside, Lannie, it is all right. You said my shoulders were too broad. Put them to good use now."
At his words, her sobs intensified. He held her for a couple of minutes as she unburdened herself through her tears. The pain of loss was never an easy one to bear, but if one had people they loved to lend them a shoulder, it eased the pain.
She pulled away, sniffling. "I feel as though I have lost my power, and honestly, I was hoping to regain some of it when I returned." She sat in her chair. "I was the Lady of Hersings for fourteen years before I left, and I never anticipated finding that place occupied, at least not this soon, not with the sort of brother I have." She allowed a small, self-deprecating laugh.
"Ah, Edwina," Albert murmured, realizing that this must be one of the reasons for her cold reception of Edwina earlier. He understood, of course, but she needed to accept that Edwina was the Lady of Hersings Mansion, as well as every other home he had. He did not want them to fight. He wanted them to be sisters because neither woman had ever had one.
It must not have been easy discovering that one of the securities she had been hoping to come back to, and possibly even use as a distraction, was now someone else's. "I think you have a decent bride, Al," she said, smiling slightly.
"You reception of her earlier said otherwise about your thoughts of her, though." He quirked a teasing brow.
"I am still studying her." She shrugged before asking, "How big was the scandal?"
"I beg your pardon?" Albert almost choked on his drink.
"Oh, come now, Brother. The last time we corresponded, there was no mention of a woman in your life, and now you are married? I cannot imagine anything else that would have you chained down this hastily."
"You are right," Albert said, smiling. He might have gotten engaged to Edwina because of a scandal, but it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. "Itwaspartly a scandal that saw me marrying this soon."
"Partly, eh?" she chuckled.
"What are you implying, Lannie?"
"Nothing," she replied slyly. "I am merely rethinking my use of the worddecenton her. I suppose she is more than just that if she has this strong of a hold on you."
Chapter Thirty-Two
Edwina took the first opportunity she got to escape from the salon that was filled with gambling ladies. She was able to win Camilla’s dignity back for her, but she was not particularly interested in playing any more tonight. Chessman was standing sentry in the foyer, and she stopped to ask him where Albert was.
“I believe he is in his study with Her Ladyship, Your Grace,” Chessman replied warmly, “but Puppy was about and distracted me more than once. If he came out of his study, I do not know it.”
“Oh, I see.” She decided to give them time to reunite, going up to their bedchamber instead. She would ring for Danny and simply ready herself for the night.
When she entered the bedchamber, she was surprised to find Albert dozing on a divan by the window. A smile crept up her face at his peaceful form. She quietly slipped into the dressing room. She would have to undress herself without Danny’s help. As she was loosening the laces of her stays, a new set of fingers joined hers, warm and commanding as they took over the task. She knew who it was and leaned against his chest.
"Oh, Albert." She closed her eyes. “I thought you were sleeping."
