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"I do not know about that," Edwina replied, still overwhelmed at his reaction.
"I knew something was wrong when you returned to the ballroom, and he was nowhere in sight.”
"I almost lost him once. Now I think I truly have.” She sipped more tea, praying it helped her.
"No, you have not," Elaine countered. "I have never seen him look at any woman the way he looks at you. Even the servants are talking about his adoration.”
"Shattered hope is like a broken heart." Edwina sniffled. "Please, do not say any more."
"I am not the sort to give superficial hope, Edwina. I am telling the truth based on my observations.” Edwina neither knew what to think of nor feel about what Elaine had said.
"I never properly apologized for storming into your sitting room the way I did the other day," Elaine continued. "You were right. Whatever our issues were, I should not have dragged your good intentions into them. Forgive me." She placed her hand on Edwina’s, which was on Puppy’s back.
That woke him up and he stretched, hopping from her lap to Elaine’s. "Are you not the most handsome little fellow?" Elaine gave his blue bow a playful tug. "I have friends you might like in Russia."
"You have dogs?" Edwina asked.
"Cats," she replied. "Six of them."
"Goodness!"
"I hear that a lot," she chuckled, "but after three dead children, I think I deserve twice the number of cats, don't you agree?"
"I beg your pardon?" Edwina gasped. She thought there had only been one loss.
"Well, two did not stay until birth, but one of them did. He died hours after his birth."
"Oh, my God, Elaine, I am so sorry," Edwina whispered.
"You would think that after two, the third one would be easier, but I could not face my husband after that. Not after giving him hope and shattering it for the third time."
"Don't blame yourself. It is not your fault. You are more important to him than anything. He does not want a child without you. He told me this."
"I know." She sighed, idly scratching Puppy below the ears. "You made me realize the harm I was doing in running away. I know better now.Whatever is happening between you and Albert, I don't want you to make the same mistake. I really like you, and I do not wish to see my brother broken."
Edwina brushed the tear that had fallen down her cheek. She did not know how she could pull Albert back to her.
"My brother can be an irrational idiot sometimes, but he is a good man, and I know he needs you. Be the salve on each other's wounds." Elaine set her cup down and pulled Edwina into her arms, accidentally squeezing Puppy. He yelped and they pulled away, chuckling at his protests.
Edwina had finally found some happiness, and she was not about to give up on it, no matter what. She loved her husband, and even if the feeling was not mutual, she was not relinquishing her own love.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Albert had never known fear like he felt tonight. Edwina knew John Mills and she never mentioned it. She might not have known about his past with the gentleman, but he still felt betrayed.
He loved her, and he was losing her. His head ached, and his heart was in pieces. Suffocated by the festivities in his Mansion, he took a horse and rode out with no destination in mind. He arrived at a pub and sat at a table in the corner.
After a while, a gentleman took the empty seat opposite him. Albert looked up to politely ask to be left alone, but the face before him further fueled the war within him. "What are you doing here?” he demanded.
"I came to talk. Please listen to me," John pleaded.
"What do you want?" Albert sat back in his seat. He was only going to listen because he did not wish to draw attention to himself.
"I think you have a right to know," John began, "about my history with Edwina." Albert felt as though he had been burned by his use of her Christian name. The familiarity pierced through his heart.
"My family’s property neighbored the Mercer's. I knew and adored her. We made each other a promise of a life together.”
Albert's hands balled into fists. It was all he could do not to reach over and strangle him. "She is my wife now,” he said.
